


Campus and Complication

by ichigoangel



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, College AU, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Fluff, M/M, Multiple chapters, almost 4 a.m. yehaw, basically this is a lot of things, there's smut too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-01
Updated: 2013-08-19
Packaged: 2017-12-22 02:20:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 92,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/907724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ichigoangel/pseuds/ichigoangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"'The world is not a kind place; it does not halt its cruelties simply because you are in love." the man said. Two shots rang clearly through the air; both of them hit their target dead-on." College!AU that becomes progressively less and less about college as it goes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Transition

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to do my first AU! The whole student/teacher type of AU has interested me for a pretty long time, and I'm happy that Riren could be the first fic that I write about it.  
> Also note the Mature rating is indeed for later chapters. Oh ho ho ho. (Edit; chapter 9 has nsfw so the mature rating finally fits)
> 
> edit:   
> this ended three months ago  
> people are still crying  
> um

When it came to academics, Eren Yeager was spectacularly average. Throughout his highs school career he had always done just fine but he had never truly excelled. The same could be said for anything he did; the outcome of every action he took was average. However, his determination to do well enough to comfortably get into a decent college had put him in the top quarter of his class; an achievement that came as a shock to many. His childhood best friend, Armin Arlert, sat at the top of the class as the Valedictorian their senior year. Eren's adopted sister, Mikasa Ackerman, had been the school’s star basketball player as soon as she joined the team their freshman year. While Eren didn’t have any extraordinary feats under his belt, he held an enthusiasm for every task he put his mind to that was rather admirable. 

Their high school experience had mostly been spent in a clashing school rivalry against the students of Titan High School; both schools were pretty evenly matched as far as athletic ability among the sports teams and average intelligence of the students, but Titan High was set in a very wealthy district and they had the upper hand when it came to finances. The two schools were at a constant war, it seemed. Neither school ever really came out on top, as far as Eren could tell. Besides, none of that trivial bullshit mattered now. He was no longer a high school student; he was a freshman in college, now.

His first day of classes was two days from now. He only had two days left to prepare himself for the next stage of his life. Of course, he wouldn’t experience this alone. Although Mikasa could have easily gotten into any college she wanted to on a full-ride scholarship from the athletics department at Maria High, she had insisted upon lowering her standards to attend the completely average Trost University with Eren. Eren had argued with her over it countless times, had screamed at her that he would be fine without her and that he could manage his life on his own without her constantly at his side. Mikasa argued that if Eren went to one of the more prestigious colleges, she would gladly follow suit. 

Eren had been planning on being a student of Trost University ever since he had been a kid whose college experience was still a lifetime away. The University had a fair reputation as a solid, reliable school. It wasn’t overly difficult to be accepted into, but the graduation rate of students who attended T.U. was high. Realistically, T.U. was the perfect college for Eren. He was still pissed off about Mikasa’s overprotective tendencies that were chaining her down with him, but he supposed it was only natural. Their dad (Eren’s biological dad and Mikasa’s adoptive dad) was rarely around; or if he was, he had always locked himself away into his office. Neither Eren nor Mikasa were allowed to set foot in his study and they really didn’t think they wanted to, anyways. Because Eren’s mother had passed away when him and Mikasa were only children, they had grown up to be extremely close and were always looking out for each other. However, Mikasa wasn’t in need of somebody to protect her; in most cases, she had to help Eren out of whatever tight situation he had gotten himself into. Those situations happened a lot, that didn’t improve with age.

Armin, however, would be attending Shina Private College; his intelligence level was matched by almost nobody else his age. S.P.C. was one of the top schools in the whole country and was extremely difficult to be accepted into. Armin was accepted without hesitation on the faculty’s part. For awhile, Armin had also considered going to T.U. in the fall. Both Eren and Mikasa had aggressively denied that idea; there was no way they were going to let him attend a school that wasn’t top-knotch. After a rather bittersweet departing, Armin had left on a train for the long ride up to S.P.C. about a week ago. Every single one of them had shed a few tears; this would be the first time they were ever really separated for more than a couple days’ time. Armin had promised that he would Skype with him whenever possible, but who knew exactly how often that would be; his schedule was guaranteed to be rigorous and they doubted he would have much free time to play with.

Eren and Mikasa had been saving up their money from their part time jobs so that they could get an apartment when the time came. And sure enough, that day was spent unloading and unpacking boxes into a small two-bedroom apartment near campus. They didn’t have much to fill the apartment with, but that was probably for the better. The two bedrooms were a fair size but everything else was about as tiny as anyone could get away with having. But the apartment was cheap and it was all two college freshman could really need. Both of them were exhausted by the time the sun sank below the horizon, and they tiredly sprawled out on their old couch, surrounded by half-empty boxes. 

-x-

Eren and Mikasa had mutually agreed to spend the next day leisurely; this was their last day of freedom before truly starting their college lives. Side by side on the couch they sat and stared at the tv they had brought with them; it was a fairly decent one that had been in Eren’s room back at home. If anything, it was better than what most college kids got for a television. They spent the day in a comfortable silence as they mindlessly stared at the screen in front of them.

Eren found himself reflecting on his high school experiences with this time. To his surprise, the first thing that came to mind was a teacher he had had during freshman year. That teacher had by far been the most unique teacher he had ever had. The most notable quirk that teacher had was that he had refused to tell any of the students his last name; he simply had them add the suffix of “Mr.” to his first name; Levi. Eren wondered why a teacher would do that; it simply made no sense. The next most notable aspect of Mr. Levi was his height; almost everyone in the whole damn school was taller than this man. Naturally, he had coldly refused to tell the students his height but according to speculation, he was about 5’3”; shorter than even most freshman girls. At the beginning of the year, all of the students made as many jokes as was humanly possible about his height; this came to an abrupt halt by the looks he gave the students. Eren finally truly understood the phrase “if looks could kill”. The way his eyes narrowed along with his eyebrows and the way his jaw set was somehow terrifying. Mr. Levi had already possessed a serious face; he just had one of those faces where no matter what, he looked about ready to kill somebody. Eren had been curious as to what could make his face like that; nobody’s face naturally looked quite that irritated. Hell, Eren wondered why this guy had ever chosen to be a teacher in the first place.

He had been a physics teacher, and his course was difficult. Everyone who had him for a teacher bitched and moaned about the work load he gave to them; Eren was probably the least affected by it. Why shouldn’t they have to actually do work for a class? That class was certainly an interesting one; if only for the whiny girls who actually had attempted to sass Mr. Levi. Another fine example of a look that could possibly take the life of somebody else. He would tell them to get out of his class and with an eye-roll and sigh, they would leave. They weren’t too fond of the detentions they were forced to serve; Levi believed in punishment, and that was all there was to it.

Eren had always held some small shred of admiration for Mr. Levi; if Eren had been a teacher, he probably would have slapped one of the students or sworn profusely at them if they had regarded him in the way they regarded Levi. Or both. But Levi had never done that; his expression may have gone darker than usual but he never lost his composure with the students. He also seemed to be extremely intelligent and his approach to physics was logical and much more understandable than the way most teachers attempted to teach it. 

Levi also didn’t play favorites, which was certainly a change of pace from the other teachers. Levi didn’t have a student who he let get away without doing their homework or who he would allow to do some easy bullshit task for extra credit. If anything, Levi was stand-offish and rather unapproachable; most of the typical kiss-ass students were too intimidated by him to attempt to develop any sort of bond with him. Levi had always been quite the mystery to Eren, and he would have loved to have known more about him. That year of physics had gone by within the blink of an eye, and Eren had waited out the summer expecting Levi to be his teacher for his next science course, since for most subjects one teacher pretty much taught all of the different classes.

But when Eren had returned to Maria High as a sophomore, Mr. Levi was nowhere to be found. Eren walked into his new science classroom in a state of disappointment as he laid eyes on the old woman in front of him who was definitely not the person he had been hoping for. He listened in on some of the students around them; he overheard a group of girls talking about how great it was that they wouldn’t have to deal with Mr. Levi ever again.

Sophomore year of science class had passed a lot more slowly than freshman year science class had.

“Eren?” At the sound of Mikasa’s voice, Eren snapped out of his state of daydreaming. 

“Yeah?”

“Are you hungry for dinner yet?”

“…Yeah.”

-x-

Eren had intended to wake up to the shrill ring of his alarm clock going off, but he had instead woken up to the blinds in his room being opened and Mikasa telling him that it was time to get up; they should be early on their first day. Eren groaned and looked at the clock on his nightstand; Mikasa had woken him about twenty minutes before his alarm would have gone off. What a waste of twenty minutes, Eren thought. 

“I already prepared breakfast, because knowing you; you probably weren’t even going to eat.”

Well, Mikasa wasn’t wrong. His only concern today was making it through his first set of college classes in one piece. 

“Alright, thanks, now can you get out so I can get ready?” Eren muttered, casting his blanket aside and shifting himself so that his legs were hanging off the edge of his bed. He lazily pushed himself off the bed and opened the door to the small closet in his room to find something to wear. He settled on his most well-worn, favorite pair of dark jeans and the first t-shirt he could pull from the pile; a plain light-brown long sleeve shirt. After he ate the breakfast Mikasa had made (eggs, toast, and even bacon) he went into the bathroom to comb his hair and brush his teeth.

Today was the first day of the rest of his life.

He had no clue what exactly he wanted to major in at this point; he was just taking his basic courses for now, as was Mikasa. So really, nothing too exciting. A literature course, a biology course, and an entry-level algebra were among the list of classes he was signed up for. He shared his first class with Mikasa; Biology at 9:30 A.M. He wasn’t even sure how to get to the building the class was held in from here; he would have to rely on Mikasa for that. Of course, it would probably screw him over later when he had his other classes separate from Mikasa, but he would deal with that when it got there.

Once he returned to the tiny kitchen, he pulled on his sneakers that were thrown carelessly onto the floor beside the front door. Mikasa was already all set to go; she was wearing a light-wash pair of jeans with a simple black top with her favorite red scarf. 

“Ready?”

“Yeah, let’s go.” Eren responded and opened their door, holding it for Mikasa and then shutting it behind them. They quickly went down the flight of stairs (They were on the second floor of the three-floor building) and were met with the soft warmth of the sun that was just beginning to warm up. The air was crisp and not a single cloud was settled in the sky. The passed by the parking and got onto the side walk; the time it would take to walk to campus was short enough to where driving would have been a waste. Plus, less money they’d have to spend on gas. 

The pair chatted the whole way to T.U., and within a few minutes they found themselves entering the iron gates that had Trost University imprinted in intricate writing at the top. 

“You know where Bio is, right?” Eren asked, although he already knew the answer.

“Of course. This way.” Eren followed Mikasa and they found the building with ease. The hallway they stepped into was cool, and Eren wondered if they only had head in the individual classrooms; either that, or the staff preferred sitting in an ice box. A set of wooden double doors let them into the lecture hall that their class was set in. Much to Eren’s content, the lecture hall was noticeably warmer than the hallway had been. They descended the steps and chose seating right in the middle; not too high or too low. Eren took out his fairly-new laptop (Their dad had bought them new ones recently knowing that they would soon be entering college) and waited for it to boot up. There were still a few moments before classes started. Eren scanned the room, taking in the sight of all of the people in the room. A girl with freckles and dark brown hair as seated next to a petit blonde a couple rows above Eren. Eren looked to the side to find a girl with brown hair thrown into a ponytail eating a granola bar; apparently she had run out of time to eat breakfast. 

Eren finally focused his eyes down to the center of the room, where the teacher was standing. Eren couldn’t tell if it was the distance between him and the Professor’s area, but the man in a black suit seemed rather short. He had his back facing the students as he set up his laptop and projector, and all Eren could tell was that the man had short black hair that seemed to be an undercut, but Eren couldn’t tell all too well.

The man seemed vaguely familiar, but Eren shook the feeling off; there was no way he’d have met one of the T.U. professors before, and if he had, they certainly hadn’t looked like this man. Eren glanced at the clock on his laptop; it was time for class to start.

Right as he thought that, a bell chimed and everyone abruptly stopped talking; their Professor had turned to them in order to introduce himself and introduce the class.  
Eren’s eyes widened in surprise when the Professor turned around.

No way. It wasn’t possible. The chances of that were way too low.

Eren inhaled sharply and got a worried look from Mikasa once the Professor spoke.

“Welcome to College-Level Biology One. I’m your Professor for this course; you may address me by Professor Levi.”


	2. Bruises and Coffee Shops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren has an eventful first day of college that includes getting into his first fist fight of the year and thinking about a certain black-haired Professor.

Eren’s mind immediately flew back to his first day of high school as an enthusiastic freshman. He remembered the first time he had laid eyes on the dignified, professional teacher in front of him. He remembered hanging on the man’s every word as he spoke with a silky yet stern voice as he scrutinized the array of students set before him, including Eren. His statements were always short and to the point; he wasted no effort with beating around the bush when he had something to say. He wasn’t full of bullshit and didn’t act like physics would be exciting for the students; another quality that Eren had found himself in admiration over. Eren had always paid full attention to his serious and unsmiling teacher. Memories of all of the early mornings sitting in that physics class flooded Eren’s mind as he stared in disbelief at the familiar figure stationed at the front of the large lecture hall.

Levi was slowly and carefully glancing over every student sitting in the lecture hall; just as he had done in the dingy classroom in Maria High four years ago. Eventually his piercing gaze fell on Eren and Eren could have sworn that Professor Levi’s eyes had lingered on him just a second longer than they had on anyone else. Eren quickly shrugged off the thought; it was doubtful that Levi would remember him anyways; it had already been over four years since the days of Freshman-level physics. As Levi’s gaze moved on from him, Eren glanced over at Mikasa to see her analyzing him closely, eyebrows raised. 

“What?” Eren whispered to her, irritation lacing his voice. 

“Why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

“It’s nothing. I’m just surprised to see my old physics teacher as our biology professor is all.” Eren carefully avoided eye contact with Mikasa; Mikasa had had a different science teacher and had never gotten much more than a second’s glance at Levi. Eren had never clued her in on the fact that Mr. Levi had been his favorite teacher; one time he had told her about the two and a half hour detention him and Armin had been forced to serve when they were caught talking during class one time. Mikasa had determined the punishment “going too far” considering neither of them had gotten in trouble in that class a single time before and therefore anything over an hour was unjust. After that, Eren was careful not to talk about Mr. Levi around her.

“Oh, yeah. This was the short asshole you had for physics freshman year; I never got the chance to really see him. Maybe now he won’t be an unfair prick to you.”

“Mikasa. That was four years ago, even I’m over it.”

“Say what you want but that was complete and utter bullshit on his part.”  
Eren said nothing and rolled his eyes as he shifted his gaze back to the front of the room, annoyed with Mikasa’s bitter judgment over Professor Levi. He got the feeling Mikasa would never really get over that instance. 

After another moment Levi had once again begun addressing the class, explaining the basic aims of the class and the various rules that were to be upheld while within Professor Levi’s presence. In other words, what every single teacher goes over the first day of a class no matter what class it is. The last hour of class was spent taking rushed notes in an attempt to keep up with the Professor’s quick pace. Eren decided he would have to go over the notes with Mikasa later that night; he was getting the vibe that his notes on cell life were lacking, but there was no doubt Mikasa would have gotten decent notes. 

Eventually class was dismissed and Levi left the room, briefcase tucked under his arm. He had gone out through a door in the bottom left of the room, near where his desk was set up. The lecture hall was filled with noise as each student got up out of their chair, many of them stretching after having been sitting in one position for so long. The brown-haired girl who had been eating breakfast at the start of the class was now clutching a bag of chips and was intently devouring them as she quickly walked up the stairs; a short-statured boy with a crew-cut was waiting for her by the door. Eren stood up and gathered his belongings; he had about a half-hour to kill before he had to head to his class on European Civilization; a required social studies course. As he was setting his laptop back in the black bag he carried it in, Mikasa asked, “Are you going to be okay by yourself, or do you need me to help you find your European History class?”

Mikasa never stopped fretting over him; she had the tendency to act more as a mother than as a sister. Eren narrowed his eyes at his sister and replied, “I’ll be fine. Go ahead to your Algebra course.”

“…Alright.” She tightened the scarf around her neck and walked alongside Eren until they had both exited the building. A gust of warm breeze hit them once they stepped outside; it was still summer weather for the most part as fall weather hadn’t truly made its entrance yet. Mikasa said goodbye to Eren before she turned to walk in the direction of the mathematics building, which was on the exact opposite end of campus as the social studies building. As soon as Mikasa had said her parting words, a male student came up behind Eren and tapped him roughly on the shoulder. Surprised, Eren jerked away from the touch and swung his head around to face whoever had demanded his attention. The student had a cocky look on his face and was a couple of inches taller than Eren and possessed hair that was light brown on the top layers and a darker shade of brown on the bottom layers. 

“Hey, I saw you walking with that girl with the pretty black hair. Is that your girlfriend?” The student’s tone was mocking; it was clearly his opinion that Eren couldn’t score with such an aesthetically pleasing girl. Eren could already tell he wouldn’t be a big fan of this kid at all; his face was enough to anger Eren. 

“She’s my sister. Why?”

“Because damn, have you seen her? The name’s Jean. Jean Kirschtein; perhaps you could put in a good word with me to your sister?” Jean flashed Eren a crooked grin. 

“No.” Eren replied and kept walking. Jean, however, was not about to give up. He grabbed Eren by the shoulder, forcing him to stop his walking. 

“Come on; at least have a sense of humor, here. I mean, can you really blame me for wanting to get in the pants of a girl that attractive?”

Eren’s state of emotion was quickly rising from simply annoyed to furious. Handling his temper had never been his strong suit, after all. He refused to tolerate this asshole speaking so crudely about Mikasa. Eren’s body was tense and his jaw was locked.

“Hey, are you listening to me? Seriously, who wouldn’t want to bang h-” Jean was cut off mid-sentence as his face suddenly blazed with pain; Eren had punched him square in the jaw. Anger lit up Jean’s eyes as he instinctively swung his fist right back at Eren, who dodged. Jean’s next swing, however, landed directly on Eren’s right cheek. A low growl built up in Eren’s throat and he raised his fists to punch Jean again; Jean did the same. Soon they were a tangle of limbs fighting against each other on the soft green grass beside the sidewalk. They both landed quite a few blows on the other before a Professor came running frantically towards them to break up the fight. 

The Professor who came running was very petite and had shoulder-length orange hair that fell naturally framed her face; she was very pretty and seemingly young for a Professor. With a worried tone, she shouted “Break it up, break it up!” as she approached the two brawling students. The woman was surprisingly strong and grabbed both boys by the collar; similarly to how a cat picks up her children by the scruff. Eren and Jean were still flailing at each other although their fight had come to its end. 

Eren’s nose was bleeding and so was his lip. His body ached in several places that promised to have large bruises of various shades of purple and black later. Jean had a black eye and also sported a cracked lip. Both of them were still snarling at each, fury written all over their faces. 

“Boys, this type of behavior will not be tolerated. As it’s your first day, I’ll let you guys slide for today, but don’t expect such kindness in the future! Now, apologize to each other.” The Professor’s voice was firm but not unkind. 

Eren was the first to open his mouth. “Fine. I’m sorry , Jean.”

“And I’m sorry…?” Jean realized he didn’t have a clue what this kid’s name was.

“Eren.”

“I’m sorry, Eren.”

“Those are the most sarcastic apologies I have heard in a long time. But they’ll make do. Please do try not to make any more trouble for yourselves, got it? Oh, and make sure to go clean yourselves up before whatever class you may have to attend soon.” She gave both of them a stern look that conveyed that she was completely serious. Both of them nodded, refusing to look at each other.

“Don’t think this is over.” Jean said.

“Oh, don’t worry, I know for a fact it’s not.” Eren sneered in response. Jean scowled at Eren before finally walking away; Eren had never been so excited for somebody to leave him alone in his life. 

Something Eren could see out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. He focused his gaze to find a figured watching him from across the street. Given the man’s stature and overly serious expression, there was no doubt in Eren’s mind that it was Professor Levi. For a second, Eren was confused as to why Levi would be standing across the street from the University until he noticed the cigarette dangling from Levi’s hand. Eren stared as the man lifted the cigarette to his lips and took a drag of it. Eren found himself entranced as he watched the small cloud of smoke escape Levi’s lips, swirling into a light fog surrounding his head. 

Eren wondered if Levi had been watching the whole time and had seen his brawl with Jean. Eren decided that he probably had. Speaking of the fight, it would probably be wise for him to go to a restroom and clean up his face; he could feel blood tricking down his face from his nose and lip. Eren reluctantly tore his gaze away from Levi, who was still slowly smoking his cigarette, and darted his eyes around, seeking out the nearest restroom. He found one not far from where he was standing, and quickly made his way to it. Once inside, he examined the damage done as he wet a paper towel and began to dab at the bloodied parts of his face. He did have to admit that Jean knew what he was doing when it came to fighting; he probably got in just as many fights in high school as Eren had. Eren grimaced when he thought about how Mikasa would react later that evening when she found out about the fight; Eren couldn’t exactly hide his cracked lip or where he had bruised on his face. She definitely wouldn’t be very impressed with him and would probably insist upon disinfecting the wounds herself. Eren took out his cellphone and looked at the time; 11:20 a.m. He had about ten to fifteen minutes to comfortably make it to European Civilization on time. Once he was satisfied with his appearance and deemed himself worthy to be once again seen in public, he set off for the social studies building.

-x-

It turned out that the Professor who had broken up Eren and Jean was Eren’s European Civ. Professor, and her name was Professor Ral. She was enthusiastic in her lectures but she seemed genuine about it, which Eren could appreciate. The class passed quickly and uneventfully.

Eren had an hour and a half to kill before his final class for the day, and so he met he met up with Mikasa and got something to eat with her. The first words out of her mouth when she caught sight of him approaching was, “What happened to you? Are you okay?” She had sprung up from the wooden bench she had been seated on and lightly brushed her fingers against his face, careful not to press on any of the wounds.

“Just some asshole, don’t worry about it.” Mikasa shook her head and Eren told her that he would tell her the story later; for now, he was starving and just wanted to have something to eat. The day was turning out to be eventful, to say the least. Surprisingly, Eren found himself more often thinking about seeing Professor Levi watching him from across the street after his fight with Jean than the fight itself. Eren was still pissed off about Jean’s comments towards Mikasa, and he subconsciously clenched his fist.

Mikasa took immediate noticed of this and sighed heavily. “Our first day and you’ve already managed to get yourself in a fight. Maybe I should have told them to change my schedule to fit yours, after all.”

“I don’t need you to protect me all the time, Mikasa.”

“I left you alone for a couple of hours, and you’re significantly more scuffed up than when I left you.”

“Whatever, the kid deserved it.”

“Whatever you say, Eren.”

They ate their food in silence (They had gone to a burger place right off of campus. It had been pretty crowded since a lot of students got their lunch around this time) and then once again parted ways. Eren’s last class was longer than Mikasa’s and so she would make it home before him. She promised that she’d have supper prepared for Eren when he got home (not that it would take an overly great amount of effort; welcome to the ramen noodles every night lifestyle) and reminded Eren that he had promised to fill her in on the events leading up to his fight with Jean. And with that, Eren was once again left alone. He didn’t mind; much better alone than with somebody like Jean Kirschtein. 

As he was walking back to T.U. from the burger joint he passed many people; the sidewalk was bustling with both college students and professors. Eren passed the tall brunette and petite blonde from earlier and was surprised to see that their hands were intertwined. The blonde was giggling and Eren heard her say, “Oh, Ymir.” as he walked by them.

Eren passed a tiny little coffee shop on the way back and decided to grab something to drink from inside. As he took a place in line he glanced around. The coffee shop was very cozy and decorated with warm colors and comfortable looking furniture. A large glass case by the counter held a colorful array of sweets to be purchased. The occupants of the glossy wood tables were mostly couples, but a couple of tables only had one person sitting at them. Eren’s eyes eventually traveled to the corner table that was farthest away from the entrance and that was a bit more hidden in shadow than any other part of the shop. With a jolt, he recognized the man sitting alone at the table, sipping from one of the large styrofoam cups that coffee always came in. Eren slowly moved up in the line. He stared at the menu for a while, debating on what to get. He ended up ordering an espresso macchiato; he really had no preferences when it came to coffee and typically just ordered a coffee at random. As he stepped off to the side to wait for the person working the counter to hand him his order, he glanced back at the corner table once again. Levi was still there, but he was getting up. He tucked his briefcase under his arm like he had done earlier and had begun to make his way to the exit when the cheerful worker handed Eren his coffee. He muttered “thanks” before heading out. 

He passed Levi on the way out. Their eyes met and Levi’s eyes narrowed ever-so-slightly at the sight of Eren for the third time that day. Eren was beginning to wonder if Levi remembered who he was, after all. There certainly seemed to be a shred of recognition in his eyes. Eren was curious as to what was going through the mysterious teacher’s mind when it came to Eren; although, that was probably a stupid thought. Eren was just one of Professor’s Levi’s students who had happened to be one of his students in the past. He would never be any more than that to Professor Levi, Eren realized. He had been setting Levi on a pedestal all this time but he had never fully realized that Eren meant nothing to Levi in this world; he was just another shitty student to deal with. 

And yet, Eren still yearned to know more about the Professor he had seen so often today. He wanted to unravel the mysteries behind Levi that he had wondered about ever since freshman year of high school. He wanted to have an impact on Levi the way that Levi had had an impact on him.

As the two figures passed each other at the exit of the small coffee shop, Eren vowed to himself that he would get to know this man. To do so would likely be difficult; Professor Levi didn’t seem like the type to particularly enjoy company. But he would do it. And when Eren Yeager was determined to accomplish a goal, that goal would be accomplished.

Today was just the very beginning of Eren Yeager and Professor Levi’s intertwined fates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, chapter 2 is complete! I'm hoping this fic will be one that lasts for awhile, and that I put quite a few chapters into~ I hope you're enjoying it so far!


	3. Rain and Coffee

When Eren had arrived back at the small apartment he shared with Mikasa that night, a large bowl filled with ramen noodles was awaiting him at their rectangular wooden table. Mikasa was seated at the table and facing the doorway; she had been waiting for Eren to walk in. Tired, he discarded his bag onto the counter and sat across from Mikasa in the spot where she had set his meal. After a few bites he glanced up to find her staring at him expectantly. 

“Thanks for making my food for me.” Eren said, even though he was almost entirely sure that Mikasa hadn’t been seeking gratefulness towards a bowl of instant ramen; she wanted to hear exactly why and how Eren had managed to end up in a fist fight on the first day of college. Not that it was different from any other year; Mikasa found herself bandaging Eren up on more occasions than she could recall at any one time. 

“Of course.” Mikasa replied; after a few seconds had passed in silence Mikasa once again spoke. “So, are you going to tell me what happened today? You did promise me you’d tell me about it.” Eren rolled his eyes as he swallowed another mouthful of chicken-flavored ramen. 

“This one asshole came and grabbed me and asked if you were my girlfriend and basically told me he wants to fuck you, and when I told him “no” to putting in a good word with you for him he kept at it and grabbed me again. So I punched him and the bastard punched me even harder and it just went from there. He deserved it though; I’m not about to let some asshole talk about you that way.” Eren’s voice had risen slightly by the end of his short explanation. 

Mikasa closed her eyes and sighed slightly as she reflexively adjusted her scarf around her neck and stood up. As she closed the distance between her and Eren she learned down and wrapped her arms around him in an affectionate embrace. “You need to stop making such rash decisions; but I have to admit it’s nice to know that you so adamantly stuck up for me.” Eren returned the hug for a moment before prying Mikasa’s arms off of him (Mikasa had the tendency to make hugs longer than they needed to be when it came to Eren).

“So, how was your day? Anything eventful happen?” Eren was eager to shift the topic, and Mikasa always spent too much time fretting over Eren to really talk about her own day. Mikasa reported that her day was overall rather boring and that the most interesting thing that had happened had been her lunch with Eren. They both discussed the day’s events as Eren finished his dinner and as they did the dishes together. After the dishes were sitting nice and clean on the rack they both settled on the couch to watch TV for a bit before spending the rest of their nights in their own rooms; there was already homework that demanded their time and attention. Mikasa had made an attempt at starting a conversation on Professor Levi and Eren had carefully avoided the subject until she dropped it. Eren didn’t need to hear her once again recall that one goddamn detention him and Armin had to serve because of him. A twinge of loneliness crept through Eren as he thought of his best friend; he hadn’t talked to him for a few days now. Eren mentally noted to log into Skype as soon as he got in his room. It was doubtful that Armin would be online and available to talk at leisure, but it was worth a shot.

After about an hour and a half of TV time they switched off the TV and went to their own rooms. Eren returned to the kitchen to grab his bag and an unopened bag of chips. Classic Lay’s, his favorite kind of potato chip. Eren settled in front of his small black computer desk, sitting on a blue desk chair he’d had for several years. He opened his laptop and pressed on the power button. After a moment Eren was logged into his computer and was opening up Skype. He was met with a pleasant surprise; Armin was currently online. Armin had already sent him a message.

Armin: Hey, Eren, how was your first day of college? I hope it went well. My first day was really busy but nice. I hope you get online soon, since I probably won’t be able to spare a bunch of time. So if you’re reading this and I’m not online, I’m sorry I missed you!

Eren grinned as he read the message; it was nice to see such a familiarity among everything that was brand new; or, in some cases, renewed. 

Eren: hi, armin. 

Armin: Eren! How’s T.U.?

Eren: well for starters do you remember mr levi from physics freshman year?

Armin: Yeah, what about him?

Eren: he’s my biology one professor now

Armin: Really? Wow, so that’s where he went. I always wondered about that. You and Mikasa have that class together, right? How did Mikasa react?

Eren: shitty, she still hates him for the detention

Armin: Well, in her defense, that was pretty shitty of him. Anything else interesting?

Eren decided to leave the fight out of the conversation; Armin would be about as concerned as Mikasa over it. Having two people freaking out over it would just irritate Eren. He was rather cross about the whole situation as it was.

Eren: not really. how’s life in elite territory?

Armin: It’s great! Everyone treats me really nicely, even the upperclassmen. They say they’ve heard all about me and are welcoming me with open arms. I miss you guys a bunch though.

Eren: we miss you a lot too, it sucks not having you around

Armin: Well, at least we’ll be able to see each other at some point. Did Mikasa tell you I’m planning on coming up for Christmas?

Eren: no she didn’t. she was probably going to try and surprise me with it or something

Armin: Oh, well in that case I’ll have to talk to her about it again now that you know. I’d love to catch up with you a bit more but I have to go now, okay? I’ll try my best to talk to you soon. Bye, Eren!

Eren: bye, armin, talk to you later

Eren watched as a small circle began to revolve to the side of his message; Armin had logged off before his goodbye could send. 

Eren spent the rest of the evening beginning the assignments he had gotten that day. Biology One was on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday; meaning that he didn’t have it tomorrow. Eren felt a twinge of disappointment that he wouldn’t be in class with Professor Levi for an hour and a half. But perhaps he would run into him at some point like he had done today. He thought of the coffee shop; there was a chance that Levi was a daily customer of the small shop. Eren decided that he would go there tomorrow, a bit earlier than he had today, since Levi had been leaving as soon as Eren had been given his coffee. He only had two classes tomorrow and they were both morning classes, so Eren would definitely have a chance to visit the coffee shop. One of Mikasa’s classes ran quite a bit later than Eren’s second class so he wouldn’t have to deal with her. If Levi would be there like Eren guessed he would be, he really didn’t wish for Mikasa to be there. 

Eren had no clue why it was so important to him to see Levi tomorrow; he’d for sure see him on Wednesday in Biology. It bothered him slightly, not being able to identify what was driving him to make plans based around the short professor. Maybe he’d look to Armin for advice the next time he talked to him; Armin was a genius, after all.

With his plan to visit the coffee shop set in stone, he got ready for bed and clicked his bedside lamp off.

-x-

Today, Eren was awakened by the piercing chime his alarm clock gave off. He was grateful that Mikasa hadn’t busted in to wake him up, which provided him with an extra twenty-five or so minutes of sleep. He sat up in bed and stretched before grabbing a white t-shirt and pair of jeans from his closet. A bit chilled, he also grabbed a light brown zip-up sweatshirt. He entered the kitchen to find Mikasa grabbing milk from the refrigerator. Although her first class was setforty-five minutes later than Eren’s first class, she had been up long before him. Mikasa offered to walk over to T.U. with Eren even though her class was later; Eren turned her down. Looking slightly crestfallen, Mikasa sat down at the table with a bowl of cereal. Eren followed suit, pouring some Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch into a bowl. Mikasa had been kind enough to leave the milk out for him and he placed it back in their refrigerator before sitting down beside Mikasa.

“No fighting today.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I won’t get into any fights today. As long as that bastard Jean isn’t around.”

“Eren.”

“Yeah?”

“No fighting today.”

Eren rolled his eyes. 

-x-

Eren’s walk to campus had been lonely without Mikasa but he didn’t mind it. The grey clouds floating overheard promised plenty of rain for the day; Eren hoped that it would hold off until he had made it to school. Mikasa had told him to bring an umbrella but as usual he had been too stubborn to listen.

As luck would have it, Eren was only about halfway to campus when he felt drops of rain begin to pelt down on him. Muttering “dammit”, Eren pulled his hood up. At least he had brought a hoodie with him. He walked on in silence as the rain fell around him. Another ten minutes of walking and he was entering through the iron gates for the second time. Nobody was lingering outside; the only people outside were those like Eren who had yet to make it to their building. Most students carried umbrellas of varying shapes and sizes but there were a few who like Eren, had either forgotten or deemed an umbrella unnecessary for the day. 

Eren arrived to his first class soaked and chilled down to the bone from walking in the pouring rain for over twenty minutes. On the bright side, he wasn’t the only one to arrive looking like he had just stepped out of a bath. Unfortunately, that person happened to be Jean Kirschstein. Jean didn’t seem to notice Eren enter the room, for which Eren was plenty grateful. Eren realized that Jean was focused on speaking with another student; a friendly-looking black-haired student with a generous amount of freckles. The black-haired student seemed way too pleasant to be hanging around an asshole like Jean, Eren thought.

The class passed uneventfully and Eren was grateful to stand up and stretch once the class was dismissed. Much to his dismay, he was met with more rain once he was outside. He once again pulled his hood (which was still damp from earlier) over his head and headed for the main building of the university; he had time to kill before his second class and he certainly didn’t wish for it to be spent outside. As he made his way to the building he passed two figures walking side by side underneath umbrellas. Upon further examination, Eren realized that it was Professor Ral and Professor Levi. Both of their umbrellas were the same dark shade of green; they matched too perfectly for it to be coincidental. Professor Ral caught Eren looking at them and smiled. 

Eren meant to address Professor Ral first, since she was the one who noticed him, but he ended up saying “Good morning, Professor Levi, Professor Ral.” Professor Ral’s eyes widened slightly in surprise; she hadn’t known this was one of Professor Levi’s students. Normally his students didn’t bother to try and communicate with him at all, really. Most students were too intimidated by his unapproachable nature despite his short stature. Levi’s expression didn’t change from its usual bothered expression and he didn’t bother smiling even slightly at Eren. Professor Ral answered for the both of them, “Good morning, Eren.” Professor Ral had remembered Eren’s name from yesterday. “Great timing, could I perhaps have a word with you?” A look of confusion passed Eren’s face; perhaps she wanted to once again reprimand him for yesterday’s fight.

“Sure thing, Professor.”

“Good deal. Professor, you go on ahead; I’ll catch up in a minute.” Levi shot Professor Ral a look of annoyance and what looked to be suspicion before continuing on. 

“Here, let’s step into this building so you won’t have to continue getting drenched.” She stepped into the nearest building and held the door open for Eren. 

“So, Eren. You have Levi as a professor?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Eren was surprised; he had assumed this talk would be over him and Jean, not Levi.

“You seemed to address him pretty naturally.” Eren wasn’t sure where Professor Ral was going with this.

“What I’m trying to say is that most of Levi’s students appear to be intimidated by him. But that doesn’t seem to be the case with you.”

“Well, I had him as a high school teacher for a year, too. So I’ve been around him quite a bit already.”

Petra’s suspicions were right; this was the student Levi had been talking about yesterday. Levi had told Petra that he had a student from his previous teaching job in his biology class. Levi rarely mentioned other people (his students were generally referred to as one group, he almost never mentioned one particular student) when he spoke, so Petra had been intrigued to find out who the student was. She hadn’t expected this student to be one of the two she had caught locked in a brawl yesterday. 

“When you said good morning to him, it sounded like you really meant it. No student has ever done that to Levi before.” When Eren didn’t respond, Petra kept talking.

“What I’m trying to say is that some social interaction would really do Levi some good. This is his fourth year here but he’s only befriended four of us, and he’s still a very closed-off, reserved person. I’m not going to ask you to become close friends with a teacher or something like that, but if you could keep telling him good morning and trying to converse with him, I’d be really grateful. I worry about him.” Petra did sound genuinely concerned about Levi.

“I can do that, Professor.” Eren responded, and Petra was glad to hear a note of enthusiasm in his tone.

“Thank you so much, Eren. I know we only met yesterday, but I’m Petra Ral. I’ve heard quite a bit about Levi’s freshman physics class and your name has popped up more than once, so I feel like I already know you, if only a little. I’m sorry to spring all of this onto you at once, especially since it’s only your second day of college.”

“It’s okay. Professor Levi was one of my favorite high school teachers.” Petra grinned at that; this student could prove to have a very positive affect on Levi. 

“I’m glad to hear it! I’ll let you be off now so you can make it to your next class soon.”

“Okay. Goodbye, Professor.” Eren said, turning around to go back outside. The rain had stopped while they had been inside talking. 

“Oh, one more thing!” 

“Yes, Professor?” Eren looked back at Petra.

“Every day around lunchtime Levi goes to the little coffee shop that’s right off campus. If you ever wanted to strike a conversation with him, that would be a great place to do it. But don’t tell him I sent you; he’d kill me.”

“Alright, I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good. Thanks so much for this, Eren!”

“It’s nothing, Professor.”

Petra grinned and gave a little wave to Eren as he once again turned around to leave. A ray of sunshine was shining between the clouds; the sky was beginning to clear up and the day still had a chance at pleasant weather. 

Petra had basically just asked him what he had told himself he would do, right down to paying Levi a visit at the coffee shop.

Under normal circumstances, he would have been weirded out by a professor he had just met asking him to make friends with a not-really-all-that-friendly professor. While the situation was strange, Eren wasn’t bothered by it a single bit. He was far too interested in Professor Levi and his life to care about the oddity of the situation. 

For now, Eren would go to his next class. And as soon as he was done with that, he would go straight to a little certain coffee shop to conveniently bump into a certain black-haired professor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, chapter 3 is complete! I promise the pace will pick up a bit soon, or at least, Levi and Eren can finally talk next chapter. Somethin' like that.


	4. Conversation and Frustration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter, it's centered around Eren and Levi's first /actual/ conversation with each other.

Eren was met with the sweet smell of coffee as he stepped through the door of the coffee shop. It was busy just like it had been yesterday; it seemed to be a popular location. Eren determined that to be a good thing; nobody would notice him sitting by Levi or talking to him, since everyone seemed absorbed in their own business. Eren got in line and found his eyes almost immediately travel to the corner table Levi had been at yesterday. Disappointment crashed over him like a wave when he noticed the seat’s vacancy. However, when Eren took a moment to look over how many people were in front of him in line, he was relieved to find Levi standing only a couple people in front of him. He glanced up at the menu and decided to go with an espresso today. Since this was technically what he was doing in place of lunch, he also opted to buy a crepe. Not a particularly healthy lunch, but who even really cared about that. Eren certainly didn’t. 

Soon it was his turn and he ordered his coffee and crepe from the same employee that had been there yesterday. “Aiming to be a regular, ay?” She smiled, recognizing him from yesterday. 

“Yeah, you guys have good coffee.” Eren replied. He wasn’t lying; the coffee there was certainly worth its mildly high price (Eren hadn’t noticed how expensive it was until now), but he wasn’t exactly there for the coffee. He stepped off to the side to allow the next person in line to place their order. Eren looked back to the corner table to find that Levi had indeed taken a seat there and was looking over some sort of document. Eren realized he had no plan on how to approach Levi; he highly doubted that Levi would be as enthusiastic about being in Eren’s company as Eren was about being in his. But Eren would succeed no matter what; he would find a way to get Levi to open up to him. 

The friendly employee handed Eren his coffee when it was ready and gave him a lively, “Enjoy!” as he took the cup and carried his crepe with his free hand. As if fate were on his side, the little shop had become so busy that there were no vacant tables. That made everything a whole lot easier; Eren could just tell Levi there was nowhere else for him to sit. He made his way over to the corner table, taking a sip of the espresso as he did so.

Levi didn’t look up as he approached, even after it was made obvious that Levi’s table was Eren’s destination. 

“Excuse me, Professor Levi? Could I sit here?” Eren’s voice wavered slightly in hesitation. 

“Why?” was all Levi responded with.

“There are no other seats open; every other table has people in it.”

“Then go make a new friend and sit with somebody your own age.”

“But you look lonely all the way back here by yourself.”

Levi finally looked up at that. “Petra put you up to this.”

“No, she didn’t.”

“Don’t lie to me. Fine, you can sit here if that’s what you really want.”

“Thank you, Professor.” Eren took a seat across from Levi. Levi was watching him with an irritated expression. Eren wondered if Levi was capable of any other expression, actually. 

Eren decided to take Petra’s advice and make conversation with Levi.

“So, it was surprising to see that my freshman physics teacher is now my freshman biology professor.” Eren wasn’t sure how that could spark a conversation, but it was all he could think of to say.

“It was surprising to see that one of you brats ended up in my class a second time around even after switching from a high school teacher to a T.U. professor.” Levi had returned his attention to the paper in front of him.

Eren took a sip of his coffee and a couple bites of the crepe before trying again.

“Do you like teaching in college courses more than high school courses?”

“If I preferred teaching in high schools I would still be teaching in a high school.”

That made two unsuccessful attempts at conversation. As Eren was contemplating what to say next, Levi ended up speaking.

“Listen, Yeager. I know Petra put you up to this and you don’t need to sit here pretending you’re actually at all interested in anything about me; she has some crazy idea that getting other people to talk to me will make me more “sociable”. She also thinks I don’t have a clue that she’s having you do this. In any case, if that’s the only reason you’re here, which I’m sure it is, you may as well leave.”

“No. Well, I mean, yeah, Petra may have mentioned it. But I’m still here of my own accord; if I didn’t want to do it I would have said no.” Eren wasn’t quite sure that was something he had wanted to say, but what was said was said.

“Then tell me exactly why you’re here.”

“Well, you were one of my favorite high school teachers that I had.”

“I gave you a two and a half hour detention for talking in my class, Yeager.”

“So? You didn’t deal with the students’ bullshit, including mine.”

“Alright, whatever. That doesn’t answer the question. Why are you here? Don’t lie to me; I can tell when people are lying, believe it or not.” 

“I was curious.”

“About what?”

“About you.”

“What about me?”

“Just about you as a person. I want to know who you are as a person.” Eren bit his lip in agitation; to admit that he wanted to get to know Levi was probably too much. This conversation was going nowhere near how he had expected it to. Not that he had known to expect, because he hadn’t.

“Listen here, Yeager. I’m not the kind of person you need to spend your time thinking about and I’m not the kind of person you should try to get to know. So go find somebody else to analyze because it’s certainly not going to be me. And I’m certainly not going to sit around babysitting a kid like you. Now, if that’s all you wanted, you can leave now.”  
Eren made no attempt to leave; his crepe was only halfway eaten and he still had most of his coffee left.

Levi’s eyes narrowed at Eren’s little display of defiance. Anyone else would have sheepishly gathered their belongings and gotten up immediately; not Eren. 

“Fine then. If you don’t leave, I will.” With that, Levi abruptly put the paperwork back into his briefcase, grabbed his coffee, and made a swift exit.

Eren stared in disbelief at the retreating figure of Professor Levi. He hadn’t expected him to just walk off like that. Eren slowly finished his food and took his coffee out with him. That plan had failed miserably. Perhaps it was a lost cause; perhaps Levi was one of those mysteries that were never actually meant to be solved. But that answer didn’t satisfy Eren one bit; he had promised himself and Petra that he would get to know Levi, and he’d be damned if he didn’t follow through with that. Eren headed out from the coffee shop onto the sidewalk that would lead him back to the apartment. As he turned a corner, he saw someone leaning up against a wall, a cigarette being pulled away from their mouth as they exhaled a billowing cloud of smoke. Eren knew it was Levi; he looked away and sped up his pace, making sure not look back at Levi. While Levi had kept his cool, indifferent composure when he had walked out on Eren, Eren knew that Levi had been angered. Whether it was because of Eren’s refusal to leave or for his open curiosity about Levi, Eren didn’t know. Maybe it was a combination of both.

In any case, he didn’t want Levi to catch him staring. 

-x-

Eren was the first one home. About an hour later, Mikasa joined him. She asked what he had done for lunch since she wasn’t around. He told her he went to the coffee shop but that was about as far in depth as he would go. He left out everything about Petra and his meeting with Levi in the coffee shop, and without those tidbits, his day was lackluster. However, he was still extremely frustrated over how the coffee shop situation had gone and since he was generally shitty at hiding his emotions (especially if that emotion had to do with anger) Mikasa noticed right away that something was wrong.

“Eren, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“You seem irritated.”

“I’m not, I’m just tired. I didn’t sleep well last night.” That was a lie. Eren had slept great last night, actually. But there was no way in hell that he was going to explain the situation to her. 

“Why don’t you go take a nap? It’s still pretty early.”

“Yeah. I guess I will.”

Eren did actually try to fall asleep, but to no avail. It bothered him that Levi had walked away from the situation so quickly; why was he so unwilling to speak even casually to other people? Eren spent a long time lying in bed thinking about his next move. He decided a more gradual approach would be a better route; trying to start a conversation in the coffee shop right away had been a shitty idea, Eren had to admit. He had blindly rushed into it without thinking, and that strategy was going to get him nowhere. No, he would gradually worm his way into Professor Levi’s life. He would greet him in the mornings, he would ask him a question relevant to his studies here and there, and he would eventually earn his place at that corner table of the little coffee shop.

With that thought, Eren finally drifted off into the realm of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for stickin' with me all the way up through the 4th chapter! I'm thinking that next chapter will be in Levi's point of view, so keep watch for that~ ^^


	5. Levi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into Levi's view on things.

29 year old Professor Levi was fully aware of how many rumors regarded him. He had heard countless stories about himself that ranged from fairly plausible to downright insane. He made no action to dispute these stories; there was no point. In all honesty, he didn’t give much of a fuck about what the students and other teachers thought of him. They could draw their own conclusions about him as they pleased; he would answer no questions about himself. Although, most people didn’t bother trying to ask him anything, anyways. They just made assumptions. He knew that a lot of people refused to take him seriously at first; it was truly remarkable how much being short in stature could affect how people viewed him. The other faculty members had made more than their fair share of light-hearted but intensely irritating short jokes. The students wasted no time in making jokes either; however, one look from Levi was enough to keep them from joking about him ever again. Levi’s physical appearance was all most people knew about him. 

Only five people were close enough to him to know bits and pieces of who Levi really was; four of them were other T.U. professors who were hand-selected by Levi as people he felt he could put at least a sliver of trust into. The fifth person was a chief of police who was widely known throughout the country for his bravery and skill; his name was Erwin Smith. Erwin was the only person in Levi’s new life that knew absolutely everything about him. He was the reason Levi was where he was today; without him, Levi’s life would have taken a completely different course, and it would have been a dark and deadly path. While Levi trusted the four professors he considered to be his friends somewhat, he still refused to reveal much about himself. He had befriended people who wouldn’t pry too much; Petra was the one who tried to get information out of him the most but even she gave Levi the space he so desired. 

Levi knew that there was a very long list of people who would have liked to know more about him; but none of them actually truly cared about what went on his life; they were merely looking to satisfy their own burning curiosity. But no, that wasn’t right, a voice in the back of Levi’s mind whispered. There was one person who seemed to be genuinely interested in Levi as a person, as someone worth knowing personally for more than just the sake of knowing. Eren Yeager held no false pretense in his voice when he had told Levi that he was curious about him in the coffee shop. But just because Eren was genuine didn’t mean Levi would so willingly let him into his life. He didn’t have the time to babysit a child; because really, that was all Eren was. He was an adult under legal terms but he still had way too much to learn about the world. 

At the current moment, Levi was leaning up against a brick building’s wall, a cigarette held delicately between his slender fingers. He had found himself irrationally angered by Eren’s honesty of his objective; Eren didn’t hesitate for even a second when answering Levi’s question of what he wanted. Eren’s stubborn refusal to leave had been the final straw for Levi; he had decided it best to walk out before losing his composure. Although the action of leaving itself had presented a loss of composure; but that didn’t really matter. There was no changing the outcome of choices made and dwelling on them would make no difference, and therefore was extremely pointless. As Levi had exited the coffee shop he decided that it was a decent time for a smoke; and so here he was. His mind kept going back to everything that had happened in the past day or so; more specifically the instances that had involved Eren Yeager.

Levi had found himself in a state of shock the previous morning when he had gone through the roster of students in his classes. Eren Yeager had been a name he had forgotten long ago. As he stared at the orderly arrangement of names memories of when he had taught at Maria High School had come flooding back to him. Almost every single student he had there had been intimidated by him but lacked any form of respect for him; they disputed every word that came out of his mouth and acted like it was the end of the world if he told them to put their god damn phone away during class. And then they acted surprised when he sent them out of the class without hesitation. The students were one of the main reasons Levi had discussed with Erwin moving on to teaching higher education; he was incredibly sick of dealing with such shitty brats every single day. Erwin had fully understood and helped him land his job at T.U. starting the very next school year. 

Levi far preferred teaching college courses. At least in college the students were there of their own accord; they had some faint idea of self-discipline and determination if they bothered to show up to class every day. College weeded out the people that Levi couldn’t stand; people who were ridiculously lazy and who refused to give a shit about the choices they made in life. It wasn’t worth wasting energy trying to teach those sorry excuses for people. 

There had been one student who never seemed to think Levi’s actions were out of line in the least bit. Even when Levi had provided Eren with a two-and-a-half hour long detention along with his best friend for whispering to each other in class a single time, Eren had not looked angered. This came as a surprise and source of bewilderment for Levi, because he had witnessed many hallway fights in which one of the fighters was Eren Yeager. As far as he was concerned, the kid was extremely shitty at suppressing his emotions and seemed more than willing to throw the first punch in a given situation. Levi had found Eren to be extremely rash and pretty terrible at making decisions, but he had seen a sort of determination in Eren’s eyes no matter what the situation. One time Eren had been standing his ground without hesitation, refusing to back down even though his opponent was far bigger than him. Levi remembered having muttered, “Not bad” under his breath when Eren hadn’t even flinched as his nose gave a sickening crunch following his opponent’s first punch. Eren seemed like the kind to never give up, no matter how bad the situation seemed. Levi could identify with that mentality.

Levi had harnessed an intense dislike for the student body of Maria High. But Eren had been far more tolerable than the rest, and as he laid eyes on that school for the last time he felt a twinge of disappointment that he would never observe Eren’s actions at school again.

Until four years later when Eren Yeager had arrived at T.U. Levi couldn’t honestly say that he was displeased about Eren being in his class. He would never have guessed that Eren would go so far as to try and spark conversation with him, though. And Levi could normally predict things like that; people could generally be read like an open book. But no matter how unique of a case Eren seemed to be, there was no way Levi could bring himself to let Eren break through the wall he had built around himself. Levi hadn’t been lying when he had told Eren that he was a person he shouldn’t associate with; if Levi were to entrust Eren with the details of his life and Eren betrayed that trust, things could end very badly for Professor Levi. 

Levi’s cigarette was almost spent when he saw a tall, slender figure pass by too quickly to be casual. The person had glanced over and seen Levi and looked away immediately. There was no mistaking the messy brown hair and Levi recognized the white t-shirt to be the one that Eren was wearing that day. Levi realized with a jolt that Eren’s hurried pace was because he had spotted Levi; so Eren was finally afraid of him like many people were. That was most likely for the best, Levi decided. 

Levi dropped the remnants of the cigarette onto the grass and crushed it beneath his foot. He began to walk back over to T.U., there was still a while before the next class that he taught but he had nothing better to do. As fate would have it, Levi managed to run into an ever-chipper Petra once he was back within the iron gates of the college. Just what he needed.

“Hey, Levi!”

“Petra.” Levi replied dryly.

“How was your daily coffee run?” Hopefulness lit Petra’s eyes; she wanted to know if Eren had braved visiting Levi there like she thought he might. 

“Eren just happened to be there. Would you happen to know anything about that?”

“No, why would I? Did he talk to you at all?”

“Petra. Stop putting ideas in that idiot’s head; I don’t need some god damn immature brat wrapped up in my life.”

“But, Levi...” Petra started but Levi cut her off.

“No, Petra, goddammit. Stop worrying about me constantly.”

Petra nodded sadly, pointedly looking away from Levi. A small bit of guilt washed over Levi at seeing her upset; Petra had become someone who was practically family to him. 

“I’m sorry. But I can handle myself and by giving Eren hope of getting to know me you’re setting him up for failure.”

“Look, Eren seems to really admire you. I could see it in his eyes when he was explaining how he had you in high school. At least let him say “hi” once in a while. Please, Levi?”

“Fine.” Was all Levi replied with before saying goodbye to Petra in favor of making it to his classroom. They parted ways and the rest of Levi’s day at T.U. passed without anything eventful happening. 

He spent the rest of his evening alone in his apartment. The one bedroom apartment (That was all he needed; he had no family so there was no reason to have a second bedroom, and the chances of him having guests in need of a bed were next to none) was spotless and everything was organized to perfection. Before becoming a teacher, Levi had always lived in places that suffered various stages of absolute filth. He had never had the means to own a clean living space before that point. He cringed at the thought of it; never again would he live in such conditions. He much preferred having an obsession with cleaning over living a life where cleanliness didn’t matter at all.

-x-

The next morning Levi found himself standing for the second time in front of his Biology One students, typing away at their computers frantically, trying to catch Levi’s every word. Levi looked to the middle of the rows to find Eren focused on his computer screen, fingers flying across his keyboard. Eventually, Levi paused his speech to allow the students a moment to gather their thoughts and absorb the information he was throwing at them. As soon as he stopped talking he noticed that Eren glanced up from his screen in favor of staring at Levi. As soon as Levi’s eyes met his, Eren dropped his eyes back down. Levi also noticed Eren’s sister Mikasa looking at him. He saw resentment cloud her expression as she stared him down. Levi got the feeling that Mikasa was protective over Eren; she had that look about her.

Levi shifted his eyes to the clock sitting on the wall opposite him; the class was nearing its conclusion. He watched as the students shuffled out of the room once dismissed; most of them exited through the double doors at the top of the stairs but some students preferred the side exit. Levi always used that exit since it was closer to the road for his smoking break. Levi determined that he could probably call himself a heavy smoker; it was calming to him and he tended to rely on it as a crutch. Once he gathered his belongings he walked out of the classroom into the morning coolness. The sun was out and the clouds in the sky were thing and wispy, floating lazily about. Levi was absorbed in his own thoughts as he systematically walked the path he always took to get across the street and because of his distraction hadn’t heard the footsteps approach from behind him. 

“Good morning, Professor.” Eren smiled slightly at Levi, hoping to receive a response that wasn’t too harsh.

Levi had every intention of just ignoring Eren when he thought of how Petra had refused to look at him yesterday when he told her to stop encouraging others to reach out to him. And so he grudgingly answered with a, “Good morning, Yeager.” He could almost feel happiness radiating off of Eren when Levi had answered him. Eren had stopped at that, and Levi was glad to see that he wasn’t trying to make conversation. He could handle a “good morning” here and there, but that was about it.

The two individuals parted ways and although Eren did pay the coffee shop a visit on his way back from lunch with Mikasa, he didn’t approach Levi at all.

-x-

Eren bidding Levi good morning became a routine on days that Eren had Biology One. Levi’s replies slowly became less forced and more genuine. Eren visited the coffee shop every day just like Levi did; however, he hadn’t tried to talk to Levi there since the first time he had tried. It had been about a week and a half since the coffee shop incident. 

-x-

They were officially more than two weeks into the school year. It was Friday, and Biology One had just ended. Levi was consciously waiting for Eren to appear to give his usual enthusiastic good morning. Several minutes passed, and Levi realized that if Eren was going to appear, he would have by that point. A sliver of resentment coursed through Levi; Eren had probably given up on getting to know Levi. That realization should have made Levi happy; he wouldn’t have to deal with the kid. But it didn’t. If anything, it just made Levi feel hollow. Levi wondered how he had managed to let Eren be a constant fixture in his life in two weeks. Eren still knew nothing about him, of course, but still. Eren was there, and was always floating somewhere in Levi’s mind. He didn’t even know that much about Eren, himself; what a ridiculous thought process. Perhaps he was finally losing it, he thought. Although that thought may have been a tad overdramatic on Levi’s part. 

Levi was snapped out of his eternal battle at the sound of screaming. Picking out the direction the noise was coming from, Levi altered his course to find out what was going on.

He soon found the source of the screaming; two students were locked in combat and there was a circle of students surrounding them. Some students were urging them on and some were shouting for them to stop it before somebody got seriously injured. The fight was vicious; more so than most student fights that had the tendency to break out here and there. The battle had lost its equality; one of the two people was clearly losing. The student who was expected to be the victor as currently stomping on the other student who was on their back, limbs flailing about in a vain attempt to regain the upper hand. It seemed like the ground-ridden student was done for when a well-placed kick to the knee sent the other student to the ground. Now both of them were struggling against each other on the ground, and the circle of onlookers shifted outward to keep from getting hit by a stray punch or kick. The fight showed no signs of slowing until suddenly the smaller student had stopped fighting back. Students determined that he had passed out because the larger student had slammed his head against the ground.

In most cases Levi just let fights run their course; but this time he knew he had to intervene; the smaller student could no longer fight and yet the larger of the two still refused to stop striking him. Levi swiftly approached the fight, and students began to take notice that a Professor was there. They cleared a path in the circle and many of them walked a fair distance away; just near enough so that they could see what would happen next. A couple of students actually had the nerve to laugh at Levi; he heard one of them exclaim, “Like he’ll be able to stop that. That small, he’s probably weaker than the kid who’s getting his ass kicked!” Levi found time to give that kid a look of pure hatred and the student shut his mouth. Levi dodged several attacks that didn’t connect to their target, and when he was directly in front of the two fighters, he grabbed both of them by the backs of their shirts. He effortlessly yanked them apart from each other and there were several gasps from the crowd; the last thing they had expected was that Levi would have the strength to pull the students apart, much less with so little effort. 

The larger student was wounded more than Levi had assumed he would be. Said student got up and appeared to try and once again lash out at the other, but Levi stood in his way. The cocky bastard tried to push past Levi to no avail; when he tried to physically shove Levi out of the way, Levi grabbed the student’s arm with enough force to stop him.

“I don’t know what this was about, or even who either of you are. In all honesty, I don’t give a shit. But I highly advise you get out of here right now before I’m forced to take further action.” The student dumbly looked at where Levi still had an iron grip on his arm. He just nodded and Levi let go, and the useless piece of shit ran away as fast as he could manage after a fight. The smaller student was lying in the grass, practically motionless. His back was turned to Levi, so Levi couldn’t see who it was right away. Levi decided he would probably have to get this one some medical assistance, depending on how badly he was beaten up. He seemed to be in terribly rough shape, given that he hadn’t even made an attempt at getting up yet. Levi bent down and scooped the student into his arms; it would be easier than trying to coax them to walk at this point. As he did so, he addressed the remaining onlookers. 

“The show’s over, go find something else to do.” They all listened to him without hesitation after seeing how strong he actually was. The student was still passed out cold. Once the mass of students was cleared, Levi shifted the position of the student in his arms to get a look at his face to see if he was one of his own students. 

As blood fell from the student’s face onto Levi’s clean white button down shirt, Levi found that he was holding Eren Yeager in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it seemed like I was avoiding talking about Levi's past in detail, it's because I was. I promise it'll all be discussed at a later point, though, so don't think I'm just skipping it! As always, thank you for taking the time to read my work!


	6. Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi takes Eren back to his place to patch him up. Eren ends up having a feelings talk with Armin that ends in a possibility he doesn't even want to think about.

Levi stared at the body he was holding; defeated was a very unbecoming look for Eren, Levi thought. Burning anger began to course through him at the sight of Eren’s battered body; the other student was lucky that he had fled when he did. Had Levi known that the body that lay crumpled in the grass moments before was Eren, it was probable that he would have lashed out against the student himself. And then surely he would have gotten fired; even Erwin would be unable to cover for that. Levi could feel a wave of protectiveness towards Eren wash over him as he kept a tight hold on the slack body. Blood was trickling onto Levi’s shirt and Levi was vaguely aware of how unclean that made his clothing; he ignored the impulse to pull Eren away from himself in an effort to preserve cleanliness.

He thought for a moment about what course of action to take from here. Technically, as a faculty member he was supposed to report acts of violence against other students; but in reality very few teachers actually followed that rule, instead punishing the culprits however they deemed fit. Nobody could be bothered to file an official report through the school; so there were no worries in that aspect. On Fridays, Levi’s only class that he had to teach was Biology One. As far as he knew, Eren also only had Biology One on his Friday schedule. Under that assumption, there was no reason for either of them to linger at the school. He could have taken Eren up to the school nurses to have his wounds attended to, but they would ask too many questions. And so without any other decent choices, Levi shifted Eren’s weight to be a little easier to carry at a long distance and set off for the staff parking lot, where his shiny (from being cleaned often, naturally) black Porsche was parked.

Thankfully, there were no other staff members in the parking lot when Levi arrived. He parked his car away from everybody else’s; he wasn’t about to let some dumbass park too close to him and scrape his door or some stupid shit like that. He opened the passenger side door and gently placed Eren in the seat sitting up, strapping the seat belt over him and setting his head to rest on the back of the seat. Once Eren was secured in place he shut the door and made his way to the driver’s side. He started the car and got onto the road that would eventually lead him right to the apartment complex that was his home. Eren still hadn’t woken up and was swaying with the motion of the car. After about ten minutes of driving and they arrived at Levi’s apartment building. Levi parked in his usual spot and once again scooped Eren into his arms. As Levi was walking towards the entrance to the building, Eren finally stirred. Levi watched as Eren’s eyes slowly fluttered open. 

-x-

Eren let out a low groan as he came back to consciousness; pain was stabbing at him from dozens of places throughout his body. He could taste the coppery tang of blood in his mouth. As Eren slowly came to his senses, he realized that he was moving. With half-open eyes he began to scan his surroundings. Somebody was carrying him; was it Mikasa? Eren could feel the strength in the arms that gripped him tightly; Mikasa was strong, so he supposed it probably was her, after all. Memories of the fight that had caused every wound currently on Eren’s body came back slowly at first, and then flooded back in one huge wave. Eren winced as he remembered the point where he knew he was going to lose; at least he had refused to give up and fought his hardest to the end. Eren realized with a small jolt that whoever was holding him was wearing a black suit; which meant that Mikasa hadn’t saved him, someone else had. Very slowly, Eren allowed himself to tilt his head up slightly and let his eyes travel upwards until they were focused on the face of his savior.

…Professor Levi? 

Levi met Eren’s gaze and Eren looked away; he had no clue what to make of the situation. He was beat up and bloody in Levi’s arms, and as far as Eren could tell, they were off of campus. He looked around him to find them surrounded by tall buildings. They were apartment complexes similar to the one that he and Mikasa lived in, but several degrees nicer. Not that it took much, but still. These were the apartments of people who had a fair amount of money but didn’t have enough family to warrant their own house or had a job that kept them away from home a lot. But if that was the case, why was Levi bringing him here instead of tossing him into the hands of the school nurses? Why had Levi even picked him up in the first place? Eren was torn between asking questions or remaining silent while Levi carried him wherever he meant to go.

Eren had opted for silence now and questions later and let himself relax against Levi. They arrived at the entrance to the building, and Levi pulled one of his arms away from Eren as he reached out to open the door. For the sake of time and convenience Levi chose to take the elevator up to the eighth floor, which was where Levi’s apartment was. The building was about as empty as the faculty parking lot had been; everyone was still at work or just out and about in general. Once off the elevator Levi fished around his pocket for his key. Levi unlocked the door to his apartment and took Eren straight to the bathroom. 

Eren took in his surroundings in awe; Levi had actually brought him all the way out to his apartment. The place was ridiculously neat and every surface seemed to shine. Eren tried to think of a living space that he had seen that was cleaner than this; after a moment he determined there were none. Neither of the two men spoke as Levi carefully set Eren down on the sink. Eren watched as Levi crouched down to open the cabinet beneath the sink and rifled through it. After a moment, he stood back up with a medical kit in hand. The medical kit was far more complex than the ones that were typically in people’s homes, Eren noted. Levi began by disinfecting the wounds on Eren’s face where he had been bleeding. Eren flinched away involuntarily at the cold sting of the spray; he thought he saw a flicker of irritation in Levi’s eyes as he did so. Eren made sure he was still as Levi continued his work in silence. Levi filled a cotton ball with some sort of liquid that he dabbed gently around Eren’s eye; he could feel the swollenness that indicated a nasty black eye. There were so many questions that Eren wanted to ask by that point; he was trying to decide on one when Levi finally spoke.

“Open your mouth. I need to make sure you didn’t get a tooth knocked out or something.” Eren obeyed, opening his mouth wide enough for Levi to be able to examine it. He stared at Levi as his eyes travelled back and forth. After a moment, Levi said “You can close it.” That must have meant his mouth had gone unscathed, luckily. His dad wouldn’t have enjoyed getting a dentist bill for a fake tooth had one been knocked out, and he would have hated to face Mikasa’s wrath as well. Levi bandaged up any open wound on Eren with a neat, orderly precision that Eren had believed only doctors could possess. Without thinking, he blurted out, “You’re really good at this.”

A shadow passed over Levi’s face as he shortly replied, “It’s just something I picked up along the way.” Eren was confused by Levi’s obvious unwillingness to elaborate; why would he be agitated over talking about his knack for medical technique? Eren shrugged it off as he accepted a request from Levi to check over his bruises. Levi reached over to the medical kit and pulled out a small bottle of a gel-like substance. He poured a bit onto his hand and rubbed it over the more severe bruises. Catching Eren’s curious gaze, he explained. “Arnica. Plant-based gel that aids in healing bruises quicker.”

“Professor?”

“Yes?”

“Why are we here? I mean, why did you bring me here instead of leaving me to the school nurses?”

Levi’s eyes narrowed slightly as he responded. “Would you have preferred to deal with the constant prying of the nurses? You’d end up having a report filed against you, anyways. And unless you know the name of your opponent, you would be the only one punished in the situation.”

“But why did you help me yourself?”

“Because believe it or not I’m not the heartless bastard that everyone takes me for and I wasn’t about to leave you lying passed out bleeding onto the ground.” Levi snapped at him.

Eren bit his lip as he formulated a response; he had obviously struck a nerve. “Sorry, Professor. Thank you for saving me and treating my wounds.”  
Levi ignored Eren’s words of gratitude and moved on with the conversation. “I’m all done patching you up. I’ll drive you home whenever you’re ready; you can rest here for a bit because I can tell you’re still weak.” Eren was honestly surprised that Levi wasn’t kicking him out of his apartment at the soonest opportunity; happiness flowed through Eren. Eren realized those were probably the kindest words that Levi had ever said to him. Eren gingerly lifted himself off the counter and stood on the floor alongside Levi. Eren had never realized exactly how much of a height difference there was between them until now; he had to be a good five or six inches taller than him. Back in high school, their heights hadn’t been too different; but Eren had grown quite a bit since then. He followed Levi out of the bathroom stood awkwardly in the living room.

“Sit down somewhere, idiot.” 

Eren sat down on a sleek, gray couch that lay in the center of the living room in front of a very large flat screen television. Levi sat down on the opposite end of the couch. Now Eren could fully examine Levi’s housing in all of its glory. The first thing he noticed was a lack of pictures; no pictures taken with smiling family members, no photos that boasted of a lavish wedding, no carefree snapshots taken with buddies at a park. The apartment felt almost cold without pictures like that; Eren and Mikasa had plenty of pictures of themselves and Armin making memories sprinkled throughout their admittedly dingy apartment. This house didn’t feel like a home. The lack of anything disorderly didn’t help with the cold atmosphere of the room. The furnishings were mainly black, grey, and white; everything in the apartment was very nice, but Eren got the feeling that Levi hadn’t actually put effort into finding furnishings that he truly loved. Eren had always known that Levi was a mystery, but Eren was quickly piecing together that there was more of a story here than just opting out of telling people about his personal life. Once again, Eren forgot to think before he spoke.

“You don’t have any family pictures.”

“No, I don’t. I don’t have any family to have pictures of.” Levi looked slightly pained as he said that. This was a side to Levi that Eren had never been given the chance to see before; Levi had his guard down for the first time. It was as if a crack had appeared in the walls that he had built around himself. 

“What happened to them?”

“I was an only child and both of my parents died when I was just a kid.”

“What happened after that?”

Levi opened his mouth and Eren thought he was going to actually reveal parts of his childhood to him. But Levi had realized what was going on and what he was saying.

“As a student do you really believe it to be your place to be asking me personal questions?” 

Eren said nothing and looked away from Levi’s piercing gaze. 

“So, Yeager, are you going to tell me exactly what happened to warrant getting the shit beat out of you to the point of passing out cold?”

Eren tensed up; he had known this was coming, but he still wasn’t prepared to answer that question. What had happened was Eren had been walking out of Biology and overheard a group of students shouting amongst each other about Professor Levi. The ringleader of the group was the kid that Eren had lost against. Eren had begun to listen in on their conversation (it was obvious that the group was inviting everybody to listen to what they had to say) and had been angered from the get-go. According to them, Levi was a stupid bastard with a stick shoved up his ass. They had called Levi every name they could imagine and claimed that the only reason Levi was allowed to teach there was because he was a “fucking faggot who butt-fucked the dean to get his position at the school”. Eren refused to sit back and let the bastard have his fun; he had angrily approached the kid who was significantly bigger than him. Before he knew it, he had been locked in an intense brawl with the other student and both of them were shouting at the top of their lungs; the student kept throwing insults about Levi that now included Eren (“you’re just a little twink who’s standing up for him because he fucked you last night”) and Eren was shouting about how none of that was true. The fight had escalated quickly and Eren had refused to back down even after he could feel himself falling, knowing that that time he would not be able to get back up off the ground. He hadn’t noticed Levi’s arrival and wondered how much of the fight Levi had seen. He must’ve only caught the last parts of the fight; Eren was positive he would have made it known if he knew what the fight was started over.

Eren was snapped out of his reverie by a statement of impatience. “Well?”

“The student was running his big idiotic mouth and needed to be stopped. That’s all.”

“Look at me right now, Eren. I realize that when you find something to be unfair you will stop at nothing to make it right. So you may as well just tell me what the hell happened.”

“They were talking shit about somebody they knew absolutely nothing about, so they needed to shut the fuck up and that was the only way.”

“Who were they talking about?”

“Does it matter?”

“Answer the question, Yeager.”

“Fine. They were talking about you.”

“Are you saying you know everything about me?”

“No, sir.”

“Then how could you fight with them for not knowing anything about me when you know nothing about me yourself?”

“They were insulting you in every way possible.”

“So? I’m a grown man, Yeager. Don’t assume that I don’t know what exactly people think about me here. A lot of it is my own fault. I don’t dispute the rumors that are spread about me; no point. You shouldn’t be fighting other people for my sake.”

“I wasn’t, really, sir.”

“Then why’d you do it?”

“I didn’t think about it; I just did it. I lost control of myself because I was furious at them for what they were saying. So I blindly fought them without conscious thought.” Eren was being completely honest; he hoped that by at least being genuine Levi wouldn’t get too overly harsh with him. Levi’s expression was unreadable; there was no way to tell what exactly was going through his mind. He seemed to be carefully calculating his words before speaking again.

“I’m going to be honest with you, Eren, because frankly, you’re the first student I’ve ever had who seems to give a single shit about me. And I can appreciate the fact that even though you just got the living shit beat out of you, your spirit isn’t broken in the slightest. But when I told you I’m a person you can’t associate yourself with, I mean it. My life is fine for me. Get it out of your head right now that it’s a good idea to get closer to me.”

“…Professor, can I ask you something?”

“Yes.”

“Why can’t I at least talk to you sometimes? Like in the coffee shop, for instance. What’s so wrong with that?”

“I find it pointless to talk about how great the weather is and then be bombarded by questions about my life, which is inevitably how that situation would go.”  
“Can I at least sit by you in the coffee shop?”

“…Fine.” With that, the two individuals entered an awkward silence. Eren’s whole body ached, he was sore from head to toe. However, whatever Levi had used to treat his wounds had helped a bit with the pain. The best thing to do would be to spend his weekend at home without really doing anything; maybe Armin would have enough free time to chat with Eren for awhile. He wanted Armin’s opinion on his determination to get to know Levi; maybe Armin could even help him identify the source of his will, because he honestly didn’t know why he was chasing after an antisocial, irritable professor. He scanned the room for a clock and found a large ornate clock hanging on one of the walls. Mikasa would have been home for about forty-five minutes already; Eren was supposed to be home before her since he only had one class on Fridays. Now was as good of a time as any to get out of there and get home so that Mikasa could stop freaking out; she had to be. Eren reached into his pocket to grab his cellphone when he realized he didn’t have it; it was in his bag. Eren looked around frantically for it. 

“Don’t worry, I found your bag near where you were lying. It’s on the counter in the kitchen.” He must have seen Eren’s worried look as he dug through his pockets.  
“I’m fine to go home now; I’ve had enough time to gather my strength back.” Eren said, giving Levi a small smile. That smile wasn’t returned.

“Alright. Your apartment is right by the school, right?” Levi got up from the couch before Eren did. Before Eren could follow suit, Levi leaned down and hovered over Eren, their faces separated by mere inches. Levi moved his face even closer to Eren’s and Eren stared sheepishly at him as he felt his face heat up over how close their proximity was to each other.

Levi then shifted his head to the side a bit and positioned his mouth right by Eren’s ear. “You don’t understand what you’re getting yourself into, Eren Yeager.” He whispered. Eren’s eyes widened at the statement and Levi abruptly straightened himself, striding into the kitchen and grabbing his keys off the table.

“Oi, are you coming or not?”

-x-

Despite Eren being awake in the car this time the ride was still just as silent as it had been before. To Eren, it seemed like what Levi had said was almost an invitation; a dare of sorts. He had basically given the OK for Eren to try and reach out to him; but what had cracked Levi’s resolve? Or maybe Levi was just toying with him. Maybe as soon as Eren would try and sit by Levin in the coffee shop Levi would kick him right back out. But no, that didn’t sound right. Levi wasn’t the type to play childish games like that; he knew exactly what he was doing at any given moment, and Eren truly believed that. Eren was happy that it was now the weekend; it was desperately needed so that he could gather his thoughts. All he knew was that he was going to follow through with his plan to get close to Levi no matter what.

-x-

Levi spent the car ride thinking to himself, replaying the day’s events over in his mind.

Eren had gotten beat to a pulp because of Levi. Not that it was his fault that Eren was so attached to him for whatever reason, but he could still feel guilt building up within him. And there was no denying that he had hated seeing Eren so helpless; but he had been relieved when Eren had woken up as his usual self. Most people would bitch and moan about how much it hurt; Eren didn’t. Levi found himself wondering what would happen if he did give Eren a shot at getting to know him. As long as he was careful, Eren didn’t have to learn everything about him. And since Eren’s injuries were pretty much his fault, he owed it to him. He couldn’t in good conscious be a complete prick to one of the only people in the world who would possibly stand up for Levi. And so Levi had whispered to Eren what he knew Eren would recognize to be a sign that Levi would be more approachable for him. 

-x-

“My building is that one.” Eren said, pointing to one of the apartment buildings from the road. Levi pulled into the parking lot and as soon as he was parked, Mikasa was running outside towards the Porsche. Eren had texted her on the way home saying that he would be arriving shortly, and that he had gotten a ride home. Eren turned to Levi before opening the door and greeting Mikasa. “Thank you for everything, Professor.” 

“You’re welcome. Try not to do anything too idiotic over the weekend.” Levi’s tone was as disinterested as it always was; Eren doubted that Levi ever had emotion in his voice at all.

Eren took a deep breath before getting out of the care; Mikasa would notice the bandages on his face as soon as she laid eyes on him. Surely enough, she cried, “What the hell happened to you now?” and gingerly touched one of the bandages on his face. Levi had driven away as soon as Eren had shut the car door behind him. “Who even was that?” Mikasa asked as the car moved further and further from sight until it had disappeared completely. 

“Professor Levi.” Eren replied as he shouldered his bag and began towards the building entrance, Mikasa following right behind him.

“Excuse me?” 

“Professor Levi was the one who broke up the fight.”

“I see.” Mikasa said shortly. Once in their own apartment, Mikasa insisted upon inspecting every single wound on Eren’s body. The only exceptions were the ones underneath the bandages; she didn’t want to disturb them. As she finished her analysis, she sighed deeply.

“I’ll never understand how you can possibly get into so many fights. You need to work on your anger, Eren.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“I’m assuming you haven’t eaten lunch yet because of this?” Had Mikasa not been his age and his sister, he would have sworn her to be an overbearing mother. Although she had been right, and come to think of it, he was starving. Mikasa ended up making him a sandwich despite his assurances that he could handle making his own sandwich. They spent the rest of the afternoon watching tv shows and talking.

-x-

Saturday morning, Eren got up and went straight to his desk and booted up his laptop. He prayed that Armin would be on; they had only talked once since arriving at their respective colleges. But luck was on his side for once and Armin was, indeed, online. 

Eren: armin?

Armin: Eren, hi! I’m sorry we haven’t gotten the chance to talk, there’s just been a ton to do.

Eren: its okay. mikasa and I have been pretty busy anywasy

Armin: So, what’s up? Was there something specific you wanted to talk about?

Eren: i was wanting to hear your opinion on something

Armin: Sure thing! What about?

Eren: about professor levi

Armin: What about him?

Eren: well the thing is. i’m just like really curious about him as a person and i wish i could get to know him personally, you know? 

Armin: It was the same way in high school, you were always fascinated by Mr. Levi.

Eren: also i got into a huge fight yesterday over him

Armin: What do you mean, over him? 

Eren: there was a bunch of assholes talking shit about him and i got angry and the leader ended up beating the shit out of me

Armin: Eren, why would you fight for him? I think that’s the first question you should answer because I can tell you have some sort of emotional feelings going on here.

Eren: i don’t know its just. i don’t want people talking so trashy about him because i just know that he doesn’t really deserve it. i mean yeah he can be a prick but still. its unfair to him, so i guess that’s why i fought

Armin: How do you know he doesn’t deserve it?

Eren: because i just know he doesn’t. also, when i was lying passed out on the ground he was the one who picked me up and he took me to his apartment to bandage me up

Armin: Wow, really? I would’ve never expected that out of him, to be quite honest.  
The talk went on for quite some time with Eren just reporting little tidbits involving Levi from the past couple of weeks. At the end of his report, he asked Armin what he thought it all meant. 

Armin: Eren, don’t take this the wrong way or anything, please. But do you think you may have feelings for Levi?

Eren: feelings?

Armin: You know. Romantic feelings. Like you want to get to know him because you’re interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with him. 

Eren sat there, mouth open wide in disbelief at the words in front of him. Armin was supposed to know everything; how could he come up with bullshit like that? There was no way. Eren wasn’t gay; he would never want to be in a relationship with a man. Much less a man like Levi. Although, to be honest, he had never been particularly interested in any girls before. He had chalked it up to he just didn’t give much of a shit about relationships; he had no necessity for romantic bullshit in his life. And he could never think that way about a man, could he?

He preferred not to think too much on the subject.

Eren: are you fucking serious armin

Armin: Well, by the way you talk about him, I don’t think it’s completely illogical to consider. I wouldn’t completely rule out the possibility, if I were you.

Eren: no offense man i love you and all but i refuse to accept that advise

Armin: I thought you might say something like that. No worries. Well, I should probably get going.

Eren: alright. bye armin thanks anyways for trying to help me

Armin: No problem! Talk to you soon, hopefully.

Eren put his head in his hands out of pure frustration once he closed out of Skype. He hadn’t known what he had expected for Armin to tell him, but that was not it. 

He decided to do his best to ignore what Armin had said and go about his plan like originally; to get Levi to open up to him starting with their mutual daily trips to the coffee shop.

Despite himself, he couldn’t get Armin’s words out of his head.

No, he wasn’t romantically interested in Levi. He was simply intrigued by the mysterious and private individual, and that was all. That was all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter~! As always, I'm super grateful for you guys who are following this fic's progress! It's still nowhere near completion, so keep that in mind. Other than that, I don't have much to say on this chapter, haha.


	7. Restaurants and Gentleness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi asks Eren to accompany him for the evening. It's their first date.

Before he knew it, Eren found himself sitting in his normal seat in the lecture hall that Biology One was held in on Monday morning. They were about one month into the year now, and Eren was about as constant of a fixture in the corner seat of their little coffee shop as Levi was. The first few times, they had barely talked at all, sipping their coffee in silence as Levi read over paperwork or the daily newspaper and as Eren screwed around on his laptop. Although once in a while he did actually do something productive like look over his notes for a class or get started on an online assignment. Eren had discovered that one of the biggest keys when it came to communication with Levi was to set it at a slow pace, letting it build up naturally. After a few days of silent coffee drinking Eren introduced small talk in very small amounts. He started with the basic questions; how’s your day going, professor? Or a question regarding biology (what was that one word again?), nothing that required personal information of any kind from Levi. As time went on, Levi’s responses became less grudging. Eventually he would ask Eren how his day was going as well, or ask if had caught a small note from lecture that he had probably gone over too quickly in class. As is stood now, they spent more time talking than sitting in silence. While Levi still refused to let slip any details about his life, particularly those regarding his past, he had opened up to Eren quite a bit as far as communication was concerned. The daily coffee run had become a pleasantry, and Eren was already looking forward to going there this afternoon.

Levi was at the front of the room and was lecturing the class on cell fusion. Eren managed to catch his eye once and he grinned at Levi, inwardly laughing as he could almost feel the irritation rolling off of Levi. Mikasa was seated right beside him as usual. Eren still avoided talking about Levi around her whenever possible. Although, she should really have no issue with Levi, considering Eren had caught her hanging around Jean and Marco often lately. Marco was really sweet and he could understand Mikasa spending time with him, but Jean was still an asshole. Although maybe Marco was rubbing off on him. He prayed that it was true.

Eren had halted the morning routine of greeting Levi in the morning after class; he spent that time with Mikasa before they parted ways for their separate classes. It was no longer necessary now that they had their daily time together in the coffee shop. It was also important to note that Mikasa had started noticing Eren’s disappearance after Biology, anyways. 

The next class dragged on more than Eren cared for, but he soon found himself inhaling the aroma of coffee and baked goods as he entered the coffee shop just like every other day. Levi was already seated at their table; Eren had been running slightly late. Eren still hadn’t decided on one single coffee to get daily and still had the tendency to choose something from the menu at random. He knew all of the employees on a first name basis at this point; today a small girl who seemed disinterested in the world and who seemed to be perpetually grumpy was working today. “Hey, Annie.” Eren greeted her as he approached the counter once it was his turn in line. 

“Eren. What do you want today?” She looked at him with a bored expression, waiting for him to make a decision.

“Eh, let’s go espresso today.”

“You got it.” Annie replied, taking the cash that Eren handed to her and handing him his change. As usual, he stepped off to the side so the next customer could order. When his coffee was ready, Annie just said “Eren.” and he grabbed the espresso from the counter. 

Eren plopped down in the chair that he always sat in directly across from Levi.

“Good day, Professor, how are you?” Eren chirped as he grabbed his coffee, taking a sip as he watched Levi look up from the newspaper he had clutched in both of his hands.

“About as good as I am any other day. Sick of dealing with all of you insufferable brats. You guys have begun to pull your class-skipping bullshit already, jesus christ you guys barely made it a month. And you would think that college students would be a little more inept to turn in their homework on time without testing me to see if I really do fail them. I’ll give you a hint, Eren; I do fail them. And I will fail you just as easily, so get your shit done.” Eren had been amazed to find out that Levi actually really enjoyed talking. There were times where he never seemed to want to shut up, especially when it came to ranting about the students. Or the other staff members, for that matter, because they were mentioned in a fair share of complaints themselves. 

“Anyways. How’s your day been, Eren? At least I don’t see any bruises, which is a good sign. Should I really believe that you’ve gone a whole two weeks without being in a fist fight?” Eren grinned sheepishly at Levi’s comment.

“Believe it or not, no. I guess nobody’s pissed me off to that extent lately.”

“Or maybe you’re learning to control yourself.”

“You put way too much faith into me, Professor.”

“Hey, if I trust you, and I’m not saying that I fully do, but all I’m saying is that you probably shouldn’t dispute it. Would you prefer I call you a useless piece of shit? Because I can do that, too.” Levi narrowed his eyes in the way that he always did, but it had long since lost its harsh connotation whilst in Eren’s presence. Eren still couldn’t believe that he was actually sitting here, making effortless, light-hearted conversation with a man he had admired as a person for so long. However, Armin’s words still haunted him in the back of his mind. Although as the days went on, the severity of such a statement had lost its edge. The thought wasn’t nearly as terrifying as it had been when he had read them on his computer screen a couple of Saturdays ago. He hadn’t talked to Armin since that conversation, but he hoped that he would soon. They would have plenty to talk about, that was for sure.

Eren rolled his eyes at Levi’s last comment. “If you called me a useless piece of shit, than today would be the exact same as any other day. So go ahead. But hey, you actually have some trust in me? That’s news to me. Pretty great news, might I add. I might just have to get a Twitter account just to tweet that Professor Levi trusts me. Because woah, no way.”  
Levi scowled at Eren as he said that. “Shut up, you useless piece of shit.”

“Like I said, today’s just like any other day.”

“Speaking of ordinary and unordinary days. What are your plans for tonight?” The casualness in Levi’s tone as he threw that out there caught Eren off-guard. Was this really going to go where he hoped it would?

“Um. Eating dinner and watching TV with Mikasa and I could probably stand to work on some assignments. That’s about it.”

“Do you think you’d manage to live without dinner in front of the TV with Mikasa for one night?”

“I suppose it’s possible I wouldn’t die.”

“Wait outside your building at six-thirty.”

“And why should I do that, sir?” Eren asked in mock obliviousness. 

“Shut it, Yeager, before I change my mind.” 

“Whatever you say.” Eren downed the last bit of his coffee and stood up to throw it away. He didn’t want to give Levi the satisfaction of seeing how overjoyed he was in that moment. Six-thirty would never arrive quickly enough.

-x-

Levi was fully aware of the risk he was taking here. A professor inviting a student out to something that can really only be considered a date; if they were found out, it was game over. Levi would be fired without a moment’s hesitation on the part of the school board. But he knew that Eren would be willing to work with him so that nothing was found out; he had already planned the evening based around that. He would take Eren out to dinner as was the typical cliché first date, but it would happen in a town that was thirty minutes away by car. There nobody would be able to recognize them as a professor and a student; Levi looked younger than he was, anyways. Eren had known his age for awhile; it hadn’t fazed him in the slightest. In all reality, Levi was pretty young for a professor, anyways. 

Levi wondered if Eren even knew what his sexuality was; if he had to guess, he’d say that Eren didn’t. He probably just didn’t care; he was too focused on other life goals to focus too much on determining what he wants in a relationship. 

He didn’t know what it was about Eren, but he was comfortable around him. They were comfortable around each other, and Levi didn’t experience that with others very often. He knew he could put his trust into Eren. Eren was different from most people in the same way as Levi; they just didn’t generally fit with society. They were two spare pieces of a puzzle that didn’t fit in the puzzle itself but did fit together themselves. 

So he decided to take a risk and find out what it was like to allowed Eren a place in his heart.

For now, all Levi could do was wait for six-thirty to arrive so that he could pick up Eren and everything could happen naturally from there.

-x-

Eren was excited for evening to come, but when he got home he realized he had one problem. Mikasa would be home long before six-thirty, and there was no way she would let him go without asking questions; especially about why he was wearing nicer clothing than he ever did. Eren hadn’t really made any friends at T.U., since so much of his mind was occupied with Levi; he couldn’t say he was hanging out with another friend. Eren really, really didn’t want to have to tell Mikasa everything and was genuinely beginning to worry over what he was going to do when his phone buzzed; someone had texted him.

Eren sighed in great relief when he saw the text; Mikasa was going to hang out with Jean, Marco, and some of the other people she had apparently befriended in the last month. Eren felt vaguely resentful that Mikasa had become so popular so quickly; it was always like that for her. But more than anything he felt guilty; he had drifted farther away from Mikasa during their short time in college thus far then he ever had before. He made a mental note to himself to make more of an effort to spend time with her; and maybe even in turn, her newfound friends. Eren hadn’t realized how isolated he had made himself in the past month; he found the feeling to be bittersweet. But in the end, the sweetness of being around Levi far outlasted the bitterness of not knowing as many people as Mikasa. He glanced at the clock; five forty-seven. He opened his closet doors and began rummaging through the clothes in an effort to find something mildly appropriate for the situation. He settled on a nice pair of khakis and a light blue button down shirt. He made an attempt at making his hair look slightly less messy than usual; it didn’t work. He decided that it didn’t really matter in the end anyways and left it alone. Eren didn’t eat dinner at his house; he would have bet money that Levi was taking him out to eat. While waiting for Levi, he wondered where they would go. He wondered what kind of restaurant Levi would favor; probably somewhere more expensive than Eren could even begin to afford as a freshman in college. 

After what seemed like an eternity, Eren watched from his position leaning against the apartment building’s wall as the familiar black Porsche appeared and stopped in front of the entrance. Eren caught a glimpse of Levi sitting in the car; he looked fantastic. As Eren got into the car, he was able to see Levi more clearly. The hair that was already always kept neat was somehow even more neatly settled on Levi’s head than usual. Levi was wearing a grey dress shirt with a black and white striped tie. His pants were white.

“You look nice.” Surprisingly, Levi was the first to comment on appearance. Eren could feel himself flush slightly at the compliment and he managed to reply, “You do, too.”

Eren looked out the window as their city passed before his eyes. He was about to ask where they were going when Levi spoke up. “It’ll take about a half hour to get where we’re going, just so you know. In case in like fifteen minutes you begin wondering what the fuck is going on.” Levi began to fiddle with the radio and Eren soon heard classical music quietly fill the car with background noise. Eren wasn’t too surprised their destination was out of town; Levi had obviously thought ahead about being caught by people who knew they were student and teacher. The car ride passed in a comfortable silence and eventually Levi turned into a parking lot. Eren looked up to find a fancy (and more important to note, expensive) looking restaurant in front of them. Levi turned the car off and turned to face Eren.

“Ready?” 

Eren nodded. Nervous excitement coursed through him as he followed Levi inside to find out that Levi had prepared a reservation in advance. The hostess that would seat them approached and she had a ridiculously huge smile on her face. She put her arm around Levi and looked over Eren. “So, this is the one I’ve been hearing all about. You’re pretty cute, I will admit. The perfect thing to balance out grumpy over here.” She grinned at Eren and Eren couldn’t help but to grin back.

Levi seemed significantly less amused. “Shut up, Hanji, and take us to our table.” 

“Of course, Levi. Right this way, boys!” She replied, leading them to a table at the back of the restaurant that was basically secluded from everyone else; similar to their position in the coffee shop. Eren had a feeling that Levi had requested that it be this way. Hanji handed them each a menu (Levi looked like he was about to murder her when she handed him a children’s menu before handing him his real menu) and asked what they wanted to drink. Levi asked for a glass of wine (You know what I like) and since Eren was under legal drinking age, grudgingly ordered a soda. Hanji soon returned with their drinks and asked if they knew what they wanted. Levi told Hanji to bring them whatever since Eren really had no clue what to order; this was definitely the most high-end restaurant that he had ever set foot in.

“So, Professor.” Eren began and was cut off immediately. 

“No, you don’t need any of that “Professor” bullshit. It’s Levi, my name is Levi.”

Eren could feel his cheeks heat up at that; he was grateful for the dim lighting of the restaurant because he knew his face was red. This moment was extremely important to Eren; he was finally allowed to call Levi by his own name.

And so Eren began again. “Well, Levi, this place is really nice.”

“Yeah. Erwin and I used to come here often to discuss whatever we had to discuss.” Levi replied, taking a thoughtful sip of his wine.

“Erwin?”

“Ah, a good friend of mine. He’s helped me out a lot over the years.”

“Oh, okay.” Eren replied. He looked around the restaurant at the decorations; he wasn’t really sure what to say to continue the conversation. Levi caught Eren’s discomfort and spoke instead.

“Is this the nicest restaurant you’ve been to? You seemed awed by it.”

“Yeah, dad never really took us anywhere fancy to eat. And if we did go somewhere somewhat fancy, it never could compare to this place.” Eren smiled wryly as he continued. “Thank you for bringing me here tonight.”

“Of course.” Levi replied; he was about as good as making conversation in this sort of situation was Eren was. They continued to make awkward conversation until Hanji appeared carrying several different plates of food. Various types of seafood were clustered on the plates as well as a couple different cuts of steaks. Everything on the plates looked delicious and Eren was eager to try them. Levi saw Eren eyeing up the food and told him, “You can choose what you want first.” Eren pretty much took a little of everything; it would have been far too difficult to choose just a couple of things. Once Eren had a plate full of food in front of him, Levi took his pickings. They ate in silence for a moment until Levi glanced over at Eren’s plate to find that he hadn’t grabbed any lobster.

“You don’t like lobster, Eren?” Levi asked.

Truth be told, Eren hadn’t taken the lobster because he knew that it was one of the most expensive items on the menu; he had wanted to make sure Levi could have as much of the most expensive stuff as he wanted. He had never actually had lobster before, in all honesty.

“Actually, I’ve never tried lobster.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Levi gathered a piece of lobster onto his fork and stood up enough to be able to reach over the table. He placed the fork in front of Eren’s mouth. 

“Here.” Levi said, motioning for Eren to open his mouth. Eren did so and Levi moved the fork forward, allowing Eren to bite off of it and get the piece of lobster. 

“Good?”

“Fantastic.” Eren grinned. Levi asked if he wanted another piece and Eren said yes. They repeated the process over a few times before returning to their own meals. They commented on what they had liked the best throughout their meal and Eren downed his soda as Levi delicately sipped on his wine (it was endearing how dainty he was with it, Eren thought). Once they were finished, Hanji came over to clear the plates. “Dessert, you guys?” She looked back and forth between the two. “No, I’m good. Eren?” Levi replied. “No, I don’t think I could manage dessert.” Hanji nodded and then bent down to whisper something in Levi’s ear; he thought he had heard something about a good choice and an approval. 

“That was really good.” Eren commented. 

“It always is here. Plus, it’s far enough out that there’s very little chance we could run into anybody from town here.” Eren nodded; he understood the implications that came with student/teacher relationships. He just couldn’t believe that at this point, it was pretty much safe to say that he was involved in one. Distracted by his thoughts, Eren hadn’t noticed Levi get up. He was about to get up as well when Levi bent down grabbed him by softly by the shoulders. His lips brushed against Eren’s so lightly at first that Eren had wondered if it had even happened. One of Levi’s hands reached out to hold Eren’s chin up so that his face was tilted towards Levi. Eren stared with half-shut eyes as Levi’s eyelashes softly brushed against his, followed by the feel of Levi’s lips on his. Eren was surprised by how soft Levi’s lips were as they moved against his own. He could taste the bitterness of the wine lingering on Levi’s lips. The kiss was gentle; a meaningful display of affection. This was Eren’s first kiss, he realized. Levi straightened himself up and allowed Eren to get out of his chair. Eren glanced around the corner to find that Hanji had witnessed what had just taken place; she looked genuinely happy. As Levi paid the bill at the main counter, Hanji pulled Eren aside. 

“Thank you, Eren.” Eren gave her a confused look, so Hanji explained further.

“We’ve told Levi since we’ve known him that as soon as he found somebody to care about that he better bring them here right away. In those six or so years, this is the first time he’s arrived with somebody. You’ve accomplished an amazing feat, Eren. I don’t know exactly how you managed to do it, but you did. Thank you for giving Levi something to care about.”

Eren stammered out a “You’re welcome” as he processed what had just been said. He returned his gaze to the counter to find Levi staring at him. “Eren, are you ready to go?” 

“Yes.” Eren replied and followed him out the door.

The car ride was once again spent in silence, but a beautiful, comforting silence that could be shared between two people who cared about each other. Eren wished that those moments could have lasted forever.

Levi pulled up to the entrance of Eren’s apartment building. Levi leaned over and kissed Eren as a goodbye, and Eren said, “Goodnight, Levi. Thank you for everything.” before exiting the car. 

He was met with the sight of Mikasa leaning against the door to the apartment, arms crossed and her emotion seemed to be a mix between anger and even worse, hurt. Hurt because Eren had refused to clue her in on what was going on all along. She narrowed her eyes and locked her jaw, hissing through gritted teeth, “What the hell did I just see?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I can really say right now is that it's 6 in the morning and I really need to get to sleep right now.


	8. Truths and Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Mikasa fight. Eren decides to ask Levi about his past.

There was no avoiding Mikasa now. Eren had no choice but to tell Mikasa everything; there was no way she’d let him be without knowing exactly what was going on. He had assumed that Mikasa would still be out with her friends and hadn’t anticipated that she’d be home; much less waiting for him outside. Mikasa’s body was rigid as she stepped forward, closer to Eren. 

“We’re going to go inside and you’re going to tell me what’s going on.” With that, she turned right back around and practically stomped inside and up the steps. Eren followed her slowly, filled with dread for the coming moment. There was no way she would understand what he saw in Levi. By the time Eren stepped into the apartment all of the lights were already turned on and Mikasa was leaning against the counter with her arms crossed yet again. 

“So, Professor Levi, huh? That asshole, of all people.”

“He’s not an asshole, Mikasa.”

“You’re the only person I’ve ever heard that’s said that. Seriously, how could you even let yourself get closed to that kind of person? He doesn’t tell people his own last name, who the hell doesn’t tell people their last name? Speaking of which; since you’re obviously so involved with him, what’s his last name?”

Eren bit his lip in frustration; of course Mikasa would bring that up. Levi had yet to tell Eren his last name; although he had never asked. He knew Levi would probably not tell him and thus far, that had been perfectly okay with Eren. But Mikasa wouldn’t consider that to be acceptable.

When a minute had passed and Eren still hadn’t answered, Mikasa looked at him incredulously. 

“So you don’t know, either. You just got off of your motherfucking date or whatever the fuck that was with him and you don’t even know his last name. Brilliant, Eren. Absolutely Brilliant. How can you even trust him?”

“What are you trying to say, Mikasa?”

“I’m trying to say that you’re going to get hurt because there’s obviously something off about him. And you don’t know anything about him, I’m sure.”

Eren didn’t respond. His whole body was shaking with burning anger.

Her voice was edged with bitterness as she spat, “Why didn’t you tell me anything?”

“And what exactly was I supposed to say?”

“I don’t know! But you could have fucking clued me into the situation so that I didn’t have to find out by watching him kiss you in his expensive fucking car.”

“Yeah, because you would have understood! You fucking hate Levi, and I know that. You would have never been okay with this anyways!” Eren hissed, arms crossed as he stood defiantly in front of her. 

“Oh, Levi. Not Professor Levi, just Levi. Real nice, Eren! Real nice. Do you even realize what you’re doing? He’s a fucking Professor, Eren, for god sakes!”

“You think I don’t already know that? I’m not retarded, Mikasa!” Their voices had escalated until they were screaming in each other’s face.

“Then why is this even happening? We shouldn’t have to have this discussion, Eren. If you’re found out, he’ll lose his job. You know that, right? ”

“Of fucking course I know that! Stop treating me like a fucking child and go back to spending your time with your fifty new friends that you’ve made. Leave me the fuck alone; you don’t understand in the least bit.” Eren turned his back to Mikasa and grabbed his car keys; he wanted to be anywhere but here. 

“Eren, wait.”

Eren didn’t look back as he made a swift exit and got into his old, beat-up car and turned the key in the ignition. He drove with no destination in mind and traveled aimlessly through road after road lined with houses and apartment complexes. Eventually he found himself parked in the old parking lot of an unused building. He put his head in his hands; everything Mikasa had said had been spot-on. In the past couple of weeks he had been so focused on the fact that he was able to carry a conversation with Levi that he had neglected prying him for the personal information that had been the source of his will to get to know him in the first place. How had he so easily lost focus of his own goal? It hadn’t been difficult to in the least bit. Just being around Levi made him happy; the moment his lips had brushed against Eren’s had been the happiest moment of Eren’s life thus far. Levi had occupied his thoughts so much that Eren hadn’t even bothered trying to make other friends in the past month. And Eren hadn’t minded that one bit.

But that didn’t change the fact that he really didn’t know anything about Levi. He knew that he had lost his parents as a young age and didn’t have any other family. And that was more than most people knew, Eren supposed. But it wasn’t enough. Eren determined that it’d be best to confront Levi about it before they went on another date or anything; assuming Levi even wanted to. That was another thing to consider; what if Levi didn’t want to really be in a relationship with Eren?

Eren discarded the thought; Levi didn’t play those kinds of games. He may not have known everything about Levi’s personal life but he did understand that Levi didn’t make decisions unless he knew exactly what he was doing. Eren would still have to sit down and get some information from him, though. To appease Mikasa somewhat, if anything. Feeling a bit better about the situation, he decided to drive home before Mikasa left to go searching for him, if she hadn’t already. 

Luckily, her car was still parked in its usual spot when Eren pulled into the apartment’s parking lot. He wondered if Mikasa was waiting around for him or if she had just gone into her room for the night. He took his time ascending the stairs and tested the doorknob to see if it were still unlocked; it was. He could hear the low buzz of sound coming from the television; Mikasa was in the living room, then. When Mikasa heard the door shut quietly behind Eren, she grabbed the remote and with a “click”, the TV went quiet along with the room. Mikasa got up off the couch as Eren walked into the room with every intention of going straight to his bedroom without speaking a single word to Mikasa. He was trying to stay mad at her; although he knew he was failing. He never did stay mad at his sister for long and in the end, she hadn’t been completely illogical in her accusations. They stared at each other for a moment before Mikasa closed the distance between them and enveloped Eren in a tight embrace.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t listen to what you had to say and just screamed at you instead.”

“I’m sorry too, Mikasa.” Eren replied, returning the hug. 

Mikasa pulled away and motioned for Eren to sit down on the couch. Once they were both seated, Mikasa spoke. “You obviously care about him a lot.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Well, I can’t say he’s the type of person I wished for you to end up with. But I’ve never seen you so strongly defend someone who wasn’t me or Armin; so I guess, for your sake, I can tolerate this.”

Eren was glad that Mikasa had said that; relief washed over him knowing that Mikasa wouldn’t hate him for this. He knew that Mikasa would love him no matter what, but he didn’t want her to get angry every time he mentioned Levi. “Thanks, Mikasa. That really does mean a lot to me.”

“Although, Eren, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure?”

“Why Levi, of all people? What’s the appeal?” Mikasa gave Eren a look of genuine bewilderment as she asked.

Eren laughed despite his best efforts to keep the conversation serious. The confusion in Mikasa’s eyes had been too amusing to not chuckle at. 

“Who knows? I guess I just genuinely enjoy being around his crabby ass.”

Mikasa also cracked a smile after hearing Eren’s response. “To each their own, I guess. Oh, but Eren, one more thing.”

“Yeah?”

“Be careful, alright? If you guys are found out it’ll be a bad situation for both of you.”

“I will, overbearing mother Mikasa.”

They talked for quite a while after that. Mikasa listened to Eren’s recollections of moments spent with Levi. The times in the coffee ship, the time he had saved him from a fight, the times they stood chatting across the street from the school as Levi puffed on a cigarette. The last thing he went over was their date, and ended with what Hanji had told him. Mikasa listened, trying her best to understand Eren’s thought process that led to him having romantic feelings for Levi. After Eren had told Mikasa everything there was to tell, they spoke of trivial matters until they both determined that they should have gone to bed long ago. After exchanging goodnights, they parted ways into their respective rooms and lay on their soft beds. Eren’s last conscious thought before falling to the realm of sleep was how perfect Levi’s lips had felt pressed against his own.

-x-

The next day, Eren somehow beat Levi to the coffee shop. Levi always beat Eren there, but there was a first time for everything, Eren supposed. Eren had been completely settled in his chair with his laptop and coffee resting on the table’s surface when Levi sat down across from him. 

“Look who’s running late today.”

“Petra and Auruo somehow managed to catch me leaving and decided to talk my ear off for entirely too long.”

“Auruo?”

“One of the few people I actually associate with in T.U. Him and Petra are particularly good friends and in all reality, he’s not too bad.”

“I see. So, how’s your day going, other than that?”

“Typical. Yours?”

“Typical as well.”

Eren paused to take a sip of his coffee before opening his mouth again. “Hey, could I ask you a question?”

“What?”

“Are you doing anything this afternoon after your last class?”

“Why, what do you want to do?”

“I thought he would could just go somewhere and talk for a while. Like the park or something.”

“What exactly do you want to talk about that you can’t just ask me here and now?”

“Well, it’ll probably take longer than we spend here.”

“Fine. I know a place in the park that people seldom go by, we can have this talk there.” 

“Thanks, Levi.” Eren replied. Levi’s name was awkward in Eren’s mouth; he wasn’t yet used to being able to address him by his first name. 

“When does your last class end? I’ll just stick around campus until you’re ready to go.”

“Around four-thirty. Meet me in my usual smoking spot and we can go from there.”

Anticipation coursed through Eren; this was going to be the conversation he had wanted since freshman year of high school. If Levi would answer his questions, he would finally have a look into Levi’s past.

-x-

It had been painfully obvious to Levi what Eren’s intentions were for their visit to the park that afternoon. Levi had been aware that Eren would eventually remember his goals and had been planning for this moment since he had decided to let Eren be a part of his life. A part of him wanted to sit Eren down and tell him everything that had happened from the time that he lost his parents up until now, sparing him none of the gruesome details. But he had an overwhelming desire to protect Eren; and Eren harnessing the knowledge of Levi’s past involvements in the world of crime would ultimately put Eren’s life at risk. Levi still had unfinished business in that world; and there was no doubt in his mind that it would catch up with him. Laying low could only work for so long, and if things kept on the way they were going, Eren could very well be there when shit hit the fan.

And so Levi had fabricated a past to tell to Eren that should have been plausible enough to satisfy Eren; he would eventually tell Eren the truth, once all of his ties with past activities were cut. He had tried to keep the base of his story true to reality; for example, he had lived with his aunt for some time after his parents died. Although it was a risky game that Levi was playing by lying to Eren; there was a good chance that Eren would be angered enough by the lies that he would cease their relationship, even though Levi was choosing this route for Eren’s protection. But all he could do was follow through with his decision and hope that he wouldn’t regret the choice that he made.

Levi found Eren waiting for him across the street from the school. They greeted each other and Levi removed a cigarette from the box he kept in his pockets, lighting it as they walked side by side towards Levi’s car. The park was only a few minutes away and once there, Levi led them to a bench that sat in one of the entrances to the wooded area. Everybody used the other path in the woods so few people ever came by this one, making it an ideal place for the conversation at hand.

When both of them were seated beside each other, Eren looked hesitant for a moment and opened his mouth to speak. Levi cut him off before he could begin.

“I know what you want from me, Eren. You want to know my past so that you can validate our relationship.” 

Levi hadn’t said it as a question but as a statement. Regardless, Eren nodded his head. And so Levi began.

“As I told you that day in my apartment, I lost my parents when I was young. And by young, I mean I was only about five when they both died. They died from a drug overdose, both of them. They were heavily addicted to all kinds of drugs that fucked them up. Social services would have taken me away from them soon had they not died. I lived with my aunt, a single woman who wasn’t unkind to me. She didn’t have any children of her own and she was actually grateful to have me around. However, she began to go drinking every night and became an alcoholic who truly needed help. She didn’t start drinking until I was twelve, so I had lived with her for long enough for her to be a mother figure to me. She ended up drinking herself to her own death, however; she went into a suicidal rage that took her life, even though that wasn’t truly her intention. Once she was gone, I was bounced from relative to relative for several years until I somehow ended up with a distant uncle who had four kids already. He was wealthy, and was barely around due to his job. The kids were all fucked up in some way or another, and three out of four of them had done everything short of meth. Kind of like my own parents, really; except, they did do meth. Anyways, I ended up getting hooked on some of them, myself. It was only natural. My teenage years were rough on me, and I actually prefer not to think about them too often. Too many bad connotations with those years. Once I was out of the house though, I shaped up pretty quickly. I chose to disassociate with my own last name, because I wanted nothing to do with that family any more. All of them were screwed up and I wanted a better life than that. So I put my intelligence to use and graduate school with ease and with a teaching degree high enough to allow me to teach whatever I wanted. I became good friends with Erwin Smith; I mentioned him to you last night, he’s known throughout the country as one of the best police officials out there. For years, he was the one person I trusted with my life. Eventually, he introduced me to Hanji and Mike, who both work at the restaurant we ate at last night; you remember Hanji just fine, I’m sure.

Anyways, I became sick of teaching high school students because they take absolutely nothing seriously and it was all too irritating. And so I ended up at T.U. And that brings us up to date with my life. Any questions?”

-x-

Eren sat there for a moment, absorbing the copious amount of information that Levi had just offered him. Levi had just told him everything that Eren had wanted to know. 

So why did he feel a sense of anticlimax?

As if this had been entirely too easy. 

Was the want for disassociation with his family really strong enough within him to refuse his own last name? 

“You told me before that you don’t have any family.”  
-x-

It was true that Levi had claimed to not have family. He didn’t; the distant uncle he had lived with had been the last branch of his family that was still alive. He had been truthful when he said he lived with an uncle with four kids; they were all involved in crime just like Levi. It had been so much more than just being screwed up on drugs. And Levi was the only one who was still alive; everyone else had met their own unfortunate ends long ago. But he couldn’t tell Eren that without Eren becoming more suspicious and in turn asking more questions; drug addiction killed people but it didn’t kill off a whole family by itself.

“In my mind, I don’t have any family. Half of them are probably dead by now, anyways. So no, I don’t have any family worth mentioning because I choose not to consider them family.”

-x-

Well, it did make sense, Eren thought. He supposed he wouldn’t want to consider people like that his family, either, had he been in the same situation. Eren could still feel a tiny whisper of doubt floating through his mind. But trust was the foundation of any stable relationship, and so Eren accepted Levi’s explanation of his past as truth. It sounded like life had been rough on Levi and Eren felt sorry for pushing him to talk about it; at least Levi hadn’t seemed too upset by talk of it. The only indicator that his family life had taken a toll on him was when he was talking about his aunt; he had sounded pained to recount how she had fallen to alcoholism. Levi’s gaze bore into him as he waited for Eren to react in some fashion. He wanted to console Levi in some way because he figured that Levi cared more about the conversation than he let on. 

Eren leaned against Levi and put his arms around him. Levi shifted his body so that he could return the embrace and Eren buried his head into Levi’s chest. Quietly, he said, “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me about your past. You didn’t need to tell me all of it.”

“If this relationship is going to work out, I would have told you at some point, anyways. May as well get the feelings bullshit over with.” Levi replied. Neither of them pulled away from each other for quite some time.

“Well, I guess we should probably get going. Mikasa won’t be pleased if I’m not home in time for dinner.”

“She sounds like an obnoxiously protective mother, the way you talk about her.” Levi’s words reflected Eren’s description of Mikasa from the night before. He got the feeling that him and Mikasa would clash and decided he was in no rush to have them in the same room together. Eren kept a respectable distance from Levi when they began making their way back to Levi’s car; until he felt a strong hand grabbing at his. Levi threaded his fingers between Eren’s and they walked hand in hand the whole way to the car. Eren liked that Levi was actually rather affectionate underneath his harsh exterior. Eren was going to begin a conversation and thought better of it when he caught a glimpse of Levi’s face; he seemed to be deep in his own thoughts. And so he continued walking on in silence, enjoying the feeling of his hand connecting him to Levi.

-x-

Levi never regretted his choices simply because it was impossible to accurately predict the outcome of decisions. But guilt began to gnaw at him from the moment that he had heard the genuine happiness in Eren’s voice when he thanked Levi for opening up to him. He reminded himself that this was for Eren’s own safety and protection, but it had still been unpleasant to lie, even though he had kept some truth in his story. He was thinking ahead, he assured himself. He had grabbed Eren’s hand because he needed the comfort of the touch to reassure him that he was making the right decision. 

For now, he was with Eren, and that was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise you guys that you'll get the full truth on Levi's past eventually, in case you guys thought I would keep it at the fabrication of it that Levi created.


	9. Cold Days and Warm Showers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren is finally invited back to Levi's apartment after a date. {Finally something nsfw!}

One month later and the chill of November had settled in the air. Eren had been in a relationship with Levi for a full month now, and had disregarded any doubts about Levi’s past that he had developed. Their relationship was going well, and Eren wouldn’t have traded it for the world. Armin had been too busy to talk to Eren whenever Eren was online, and Eren decided to save telling him all about Levi for when they were online at the same time. Mikasa was single, but she hung out with her friends often. Eren had begun to spend time with them once in a while, too. Jean had turned out to not be too terrible of a human being; it definitely had to be Marco’s influence, because he was a wonderful person to be around. Eren eventually got Annie, the coffee shop employee, to join them all every now and then as well, although she hung around them less often than even Eren. Everyone was kept relatively busy with schoolwork; with Mikasa’s help and his own motivation to do well with grades he had no issues keeping his grades high. Everything in life was going well for Eren; he had only been in about two physical fights since the one that Levi had helped him out of, and neither of them was major. 

One person had caught on that there was more between Eren and Levi than met the eye; luckily and unsurprisingly, that person was Petra. When Petra had approached Eren and gotten her suspicion that they were an item confirmed, she was so happy that she hugged without hesitation. She had told Eren pretty much the same thing that Hanji had told him on their first date; Levi had never opened up to somebody before and it was a beautiful thing, knowing that he had found somebody he actually gave a shit about. Eren and Petra often chatted after European Civ once the other students left; most of their discussion centered on Levi but Eren found that she was genuinely fun to talk to and so they also talked about anything that came to mind. 

Eren and Levi had no troubles keeping their relationship hidden from the population of T.U. They hadn’t missed a single day of coffee shop visits, and Eren had finally settled on one coffee; what a coincidence it was that it happened to be the same as Levi’s. They had been on several dates together, but Eren had yet to actually go back to Levi’s apartment with him. He wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about that fact and chose not to think about it too much. Most of their evenings together had been spent in the restaurant they had gone to for their first date; it turned out it was named “Le Bernadin”. Hanji was always enthusiastic to have them there and the food was always flawless. One time they had opted to change it up and go to a movie; it had possessed a promising premise but it actually turned out to be shitty. There had been barely anybody else in the theater, and they sat alone in the top row. They spent most of the movie making out, which was far better than the movie even if it had turned out to be a decent movie.

Mikasa had finally gotten used to the idea of Eren being with Levi and had stopped showing signs of obvious displeasure when Eren could arrive home late from a date with Levi; now she even asked how the night had been. She had also made comment on the fact that she was surrounded by gay men; apparently, Jean and Marco were a thing, too. One night, she had exasperatedly claimed that she was just waiting for Armin to come to her with news that he, too, was gay. Mikasa was still protective over Eren and made sure to make sure he was doing okay in school and still refused to let him make his own meals when he ate at home. Whenever Eren made a joke about her acting like a typical mother she just rolled her eyes and sighed.

The only thing that could really boost Eren’s content higher than it already was would be for Levi to finally invite Eren back to his apartment with him. And one chilly November afternoon, he was given his opportunity.

Eren and Levi were standing side by side on the frost-covered grass after the conclusion of Biology One for the day. Eren shivered a bit as he zipped his dark grey jacket further up in an effort to better keep his heat in his body. His jacket was nothing special, but it was relatively warm. Levi’s choice of jacket was a black trench coat; it was so Levi that it was almost painful. Although Eren did have to admit Levi pulled that coat off extremely well.

A stream of smoke escaped Levi’s parted lips as he flicked his cigarette to be rid of the built-up ash. “Hey, Eren.”

“Yeah?”

“Your schedule for this evening is open, isn’t it?”

Eren thought for a minute if he had promised Mikasa to do something with her and the others. After deciding that he hadn’t made plans for the night, he responded. “Yeah, it is. Why?”

“Dinner at Le Bernadin?”

“I’d love to.” Eren said immediately. Levi had long since grown used to his enthusiasm when it came to spending time together.

Eren had managed to get hold of an actual dress shirt somewhere down the line that was so light of a blue that some people would mistake it for white. For tonight’s date, he wore a grey tie with it, and for pants he had chosen a pair of black slacks. Once he put his grey jacket on, he stepped outside to wait for Levi. He could see his breath in the cold night-time air. After several minutes, the familiar black Porsche pulled up. Eren still couldn’t get over seeing Levi in his trench coat and eyed him over several times during the drive to the restaurant that held many of Eren’s most treasured memories. Once inside, Hanji greeted them and took them to their usual table. Eren ordered lobster and Levi did the same. Levi asked for the same wine that he always had. Eren wondered what it tasted like; he had only ever gotten a taste of the remnants lingering on Levi’s lips.

“What does it taste like?” Levi looked up from his wine at Eren’s question.

“What, the wine?”

“Yeah.”

“You idiot, it’s difficult to accurately describe the taste of wine.” Eren looked slightly crestfallen at Levi’s snappish response. But his demeanor changed back to content just as quickly when Levi held the wine glass out to Eren and allowed him to take it. 

“Try it, before Hanji comes back with our food. We have enough disregard for rules as it is.”

Eren lifted the class to his lips and tasted. It was bitter but smooth and it was something he wouldn’t mind having again at some point. He passed the glass back to Levi and said, 

“It’s good.”

“Yeah. That would probably be why I order it every single time we come here.” Levi disinterestedly stared at the wine glass, swaying the glass so that the liquid inside swirled around.

Hanji soon arrived with their food and the two chatted as they ate. Once they had both finished, Levi gave Eren a serious look.

“Eren.”

“Yeah?”

"Are you in any rush to get home?”

“Not really, why?”

“Want to go somewhere else once we get out of here?”

“Depends, what do you have in mind?”

“We could go back to my place.”

“W-what?”

“Don’t act so surprised. We’ve been together for a whole month, right? If anything, we’ve made it farther than most couples.”

“True. Sure, fine by me.”

“Good.”

Hanji brought them the bill and Levi barely even looked at it before handing her his card. 

“You know, I could pay once in a while. I feel bad that you always have to pay.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “You dumbass.” Was all he said in response.

-x-

A half hour later the two men were riding the elevator up to Levi’s floor. The elevator door slowly slid open and Levi grabbed his keys before they reached his door. Once inside they both took off their coats and hung them on the coat rack that Levi had positioned next to his door. Eren went into the living room and sat on the couch; almost two months had passed since he had last sat on this couch, and the situation difference was as drastic as night and day. Levi appeared in the room a couple minutes later. Eren was tense; nervousness rang through him. He had no experience with anything sexual whatsoever. 

Instead of sitting beside Eren, Levi opted to straddle Eren’s lap. He leaned forward and instead of going straight for Eren’s mouth, he kissed at the side of Eren’s neck, causing an involuntary shiver on Eren’s part. Levi flicked his tongue over the skin on Eren’s neck and then put his lips to Eren’s neck and sucked. With that first mark, Eren was officially his. To further signify his ownership, he left a few more hickeys. Looks like Eren would have to dig a turtleneck out of his closet the next day, Levi thought. Satisfied with his work, he separated himself from Eren’s neck and looked Eren in the eye; Eren’s eyes we slightly shut. He realized that Levi’s face was now directly in front of him. 

Eren’s mouth closed the difference between them. Eren bit at Levi’s lip and Levi parted his lips so that Eren’s tongue could explore as it pleased. Their tongues fought against each other and Eren wrapped his fingers in Levi’s hair in an effort to pull Levi even closer to him. Eren was the first to pull away for a chance to breathe; a small thread of saliva was connected to both of their lips. Levi tugged at Eren’s tie to loosen it so that he could pull it off, and in turn create an opening to remove Eren’s shirt. Eren made an attempt to do the same to Levi; it took him a lot longer to accomplish and Levi already had half of Eren’s shirt buttons undone by the time Eren was able to slide the tie away from Levi’s shirt.

Levi leaned down and hovered over Eren’s chest; about to take one of Eren’s nipples into his mouth when Eren pushed him away.

“Levi?”

“What?” The irritation in Levi’s tone was hard to miss.

“Do you think I could take a shower first?”

“Are you fucking serious right now?”

“No, really. I-I’d like to be as clean as possible for you.” Eren’s face heated up as he told Levi why he wanted to shower. He had already showered that morning but he still felt like he wouldn’t be clean enough to Levi’s standards.

Levi got off of Eren’s lap and stood up, crossing his arms. 

“Fine. You can take a shower.”

Eren nodded gratefully and headed for the bathroom; he remembered where it was from the last time he had been there. He shut the door behind him and began undressing himself.

Eren unbuttoned and slid off his pants and his socks and finally his boxers. His shirt was already on the living room floor, so he hadn’t needed to take it off. He turned the knob on the shower and waited for the water to warm up enough for him to get in the shower. He tested the water with his hand and, satisfied with the temperature, stepped into the stall. He grabbed soap and made quick work of making his body clean from head to toe. Once he had accomplished that, he grabbed the bottle of shampoo sitting in the shower caddy that Levi had hung up, and distributed a handful throughout his hair. He was in his own little world at that point and hadn’t heard the bathroom door open. He hadn’t even heard the sound of somebody else stepping into the shower stall, and since he had been facing away from the shower’s entrance, he hadn’t seen him, either. He wasn’t aware that he wasn’t alone until he felt himself being pushed up against the wall of the shower. Strong hands turned him around and he felt Levi’s lips forcefully pressed against his. Levi’s hands traveled all over Eren, leaving no patch of skin untouched as their mouths remained connected in the wet and embarrassingly sloppy kiss. Eren took in the sight of Levi’s naked body glistening with droplets of water everywhere. Eren could feel his groin heat up between the sight of Levi and Levi’s hands exploring his body. He reached out and pulled Levi closer to him so that he could have access to Levi’s neck the way that Levi had access of his earlier. He licked the water from a patch of his neck and took a piece of flesh between his lips and sucked on it until he knew that he had left his mark on Levi; now they fully belonged to each other. Their hands freely roamed each other’s bodies, exploring every crevice. Levi took Eren’s nipples into his hands one at a time, feeling each bud harden under his touch. Eren let out a soft moan and he scratched at Levi’s back, undoubtedly leaving impressive marks as his nails dug into the flesh. Levi didn’t seem to mind one bit.

Eventually Levi’s hand made it to Eren’s erection and Eren let out another moan as he felt Levi’s water-slickened hand slide up and down his shaft. Levi put his mouth to Eren’s ear and whispered in his ear over the sound of the falling water, “Do you know how exactly how impatient I was becoming waiting to be able to fuck you?” Eren shuddered and gripped Levi’s back harder. Levi’s hand was moving agonizingly slow for Eren, and he thrust his hips forward in a vain attempt to get more. Levi didn’t stop talking as he continued to slowly move his hand over Eren’s length. As he talked, he slowly increased his tempo, much to Eren’s contentment. 

“Just you wait. For tonight, I won’t go that far with you. Because you’ve never done anything before. No, once we’re out of the shower, we’ll be done. But just you wait. Because one day I’m going to have you in handcuffs, tied against a pole so tightly that you’ll barely even be able to move, and I’ll fuck you as slowly as you can possibly imagine. I’ll even blindfold you so that you can’t even watch what I do. Depending on how I feel that day, I just might even put a gag in your mouth. But we’ll just have to wait and see. And you’ll be panting, begging me to please, oh god, please move faster, because you can’t stand it anymore. And you’ll uselessly thrust your hips into the air searching for the friction you need, and I’ll refuse it from you until I decide you can cum. I’ll be in total control of you and you’ll just be a flustered, moaning mess beneath me. Would you like that, Eren?” Levi’s voice was silky in his ear. As Levi finished his little scenario, Eren let out an “A-ah-” and came hard into Levi’s hand, nails digging ever deeper into the flesh of Levi’s back. The water continued to cascade over them as Eren panted, trying to catch his breath. Amusement lit Levi’s face as he watched Eren attempt to regulate his breathing. He determined that Eren would, indeed, enjoy what Levi had described to him.

Levi turned the shower off and stepped out of the stall, grabbing towels for Eren and himself. Earlier Eren had been too flustered to remember to ask where the towels were. He tossed Eren his towel and began drying himself off. Eren followed suit and began pulling his pants back on.

“What, you want to go home?” Levi asked.

“I thought that was the plan.”

“You’re an idiot. It’s Friday night, you don’t have to get up for class in the morning. I thought bringing you back here was an obvious enough hint that it was an invitation to spend the night. But if you want to go home that badly, that’s your choice.”

“No, I’ll stay.”

“Good, then.”

Both of them clad only in their boxers, Eren followed Levi into his bedroom. The room was decorated in the same style as the rest of the apartment, and everything was black, white, or grey. The bed was a queen-size and it was adorned with decorative pillows and the bedspread was black. There was a sliding door on one of the walls that led to a balcony off the room. A flat screen television was attached to the wall opposite the bed. Levi stepped out onto the balcony and left the door open as an invitation for Eren to stand out there with him. Eren was freezing standing outside in the chilly air wearing nothing but his boxers, but he didn’t mind. The balcony had a little table and a chair, and Levi grabbed at a pack of cigarettes that had been left on the table. Eren wondered if he always had a pack there for when he was at home. Levi stuck the cigarette in his mouth and flicked the lighter so that the small flame appeared and lit the end of the cigarette. Eren watched as Levi took the cigarette out of his mouth and tapped it against the ash tray he also had sitting on the table. As Levi pulled it back up to put it back in his mouth, Eren quickly made a grab at it. Levi stared at him incredulously as he lifted it to his own lips, taking a puff of it before removing it from his mouth and letting the smoke float out of his parted lips. “Oi, Eren. What do you think you’re doing; smoking is bad for you.”

“You’re one to talk. Do you know how many of these things I’ve seen you smoke since I’ve known you?”

“That’s beside the point.” Levi replied shortly as he grabbed the cigarette back from Eren. Eren was smiling idiotically at Levi and in return Levi purposefully made sure that the smoke went right in front of Eren’s face. He ended up passing the cigarette back to Eren, who took another drag from it. They passed it back and forth until there was nothing left to smoke. They hurried back inside; Eren was shaking from the cold. Levi began removing the pile of decorative pillows off of the bed and motioned for Eren to get in bed and under the warmth of the blanket. Once Levi was settled in bed beside him, he grabbed Eren and pulled him into his arms. Eren rested his head against Levi’s chest and let himself be bathed in Levi’s body heat.

“Goodnight, Levi.” Eren said with a yawn. 

“Goodnight.” Levi replied, slowly stroking Eren’s hair as Eren fell asleep within a matter of minutes in Levi’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all of you [cough perverts cough] who wish to read Levi actually doing to Eren what he said he wanted to, I've created a C&C oneshot on that~  
> [here~](http://archiveofourown.org/works/963818)


	10. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin visits, Eren agonizes for a bit over what to get for Levi, and Levi and Eren exchange presents.

December 21st was the last day of class before being dismissed for the Holidays. Snow fell gently outside, covering the ground in a thin layer of white. Eren had talked to Armin the previous night over Skype (video chatting instead of over the IM system like they normally did) and confirmed their plans for the next day; Armin was going to be flying in the next afternoon and was spending the holiday break with Eren and Mikasa. The airport was about a forty-five minute drive away from T.U., and they were going to aim to arrive at the airport around 3 p.m. and wait for Armin to appear at the gate. Both Eren and Mikasa were equally joyed; they hadn’t seen Armin since before college had started and neither of them had been able to talk to him a whole lot. Eren had debated whether or not he was going to tell Armin about him and Levi the previous night over Skype and had decided against it; he would figure it out soon enough, anyways. After what felt like an eternity, Eren found himself seated in the passenger’s seat of Mikasa’s car; Mikasa preferred being the driver and Eren never felt like disputing it.

He spent a majority of the ride gazing out the window at the falling snow and thinking about how nice it would be to just be around Armin again. He missed him more than he missed anyone else; this was the longest he had ever gone without seeing Armin in person. There was so much that had happened since college had started for them and Eren figured that Armin had just as many memories to share as he did. 

He wondered how Armin would react to hearing about Eren’s relationship with Levi. He had been the first to call it, so Eren doubted that he would be overly surprised. Maybe Armin would surprise him with news of a special someone in his life. Eren continued to think about Armin and how they would catch up until he felt the car roll to a stop. 

“We’re here.” Mikasa announced, setting the car to park and turning it off. Mikasa wrapped her typical red scarf tighter around her neck to preserve warmth as they both stepped out of their car and into the frigid December air. They were met with a blast of warmth when they entered the large doors that led into the airport. They stopped walking for a minute to examine their surroundings.

“What gate did Armin say he was going to be coming out of, again?” Eren asked.

“Hold on, I have it written down somewhere.” Mikasa fished around in her coat pockets until she pulled out a small slip of paper that had a couple sentences hastily scrawled across it. 

22C.” She read from the paper. Eren looked up and started scanning the signs for which direction would lead them to section C of the airport. He found a sign hanging from the ceiling that had an arrow pointing towards the west end of the airport that had “Gates 20-25 C” printed on it. 

“Alright, this way.” He said to Mikasa, pointing at the direction of the sign. Mikasa nodded and they began making their way to where the sign led them to. They arrived before the plane did, and they seated themselves in the waiting area chairs as they watched for the airplane passengers to begin appearing at the gate. Around three-twenty people finally started coming through the gate, and the two students stood up, waiting to see Armin. He was near the end of the line, but eventually he too had made it past the gate. When he found Eren and Mikasa watching him with grins spread across their faces, he broke into a run. Eren and Mikasa also began to run, and they met each other half-way in an enthusiastic embrace. They spent a long moment locked in that embrace, enjoying once again being in each other’s presence. Eventually they all pulled away, and Eren got a look at Armin’s face, reality setting in that Armin was finally there with them. He noticed that Armin had neglected getting his hair cut and had most of it swept into a loose ponytail.

Surprisingly, Armin was able to pull it off. Armin was the first to break the silence.

“Long time no see, guys.” 

“Nice hair.” Eren replied, widening his grin as Armin rolled his eyes at him.

“Nice to see you too, Eren.”

“I think your hair looks nice.” Mikasa chimed in, and Armin smiled gratefully at her.

They all spoke at a rapid and rather chaotic pace as they made their way over to the luggage area. Eren asked which one was Armin’s and once it appeared, Armin pointed and replied, “That one.” Eren grabbed it off of the belt and they travelled side by side back to the car. Eren sat in the back seat with Armin on the way home. Eren asked Armin if he happened to have a lady friend, to which Armin simply said no, he wasn’t focused on getting himself into a relationship at that point in time. Armin returned the question and Eren saw Mikasa look up sharply, awaiting Eren’s reply. 

“We can talk about that later. So, are you actually challenged at your school?”

Armin gave him a suspicious look that conveyed that he would definitely remember to bring up Eren’s relationship status later. “Yeah, some of my classes actually provide me with a fair challenge. Some of them are still pretty easy, though.” The conversation stayed focused on Armin’s experience in college for the remainder of the ride home. Once home, they made hot chocolate and nestled all together on the couch. Mikasa and Eren talked about what T.U. was like and told about all the people they had met along the way. Armin listened to them as they reflected on nights hanging out as a group with Jean, Marco, and all of the others. Eren mentioned Annie and how she seldom joined them but was actually a decent person once she let you actually talk to her. That evening as they all sat together, Armin didn’t bring up Levi at all.

Eventually their eyelids became heavy and they mutually decided that it was a good time to go to bed. Armin shared Eren’s bed with him; they had shared a bed countless times throughout their youth and that never did change. Eren turned off the light and crawled into the bed beside Armin.

“Hey, Eren?”

“Yeah?”

“How long have you and Levi been together?”

Of course. Armin’s intuition was barely short of perfect. So much so that Eren couldn’t even bother to pretend that he was surprised that Armin had figured it out. 

“Almost three months.” Eren replied; it was difficult to think that almost three months had already passed since his relationship with Levi had begun. Eren had spent the night at Levi’s apartment quite a few times already; Friday nights were pretty much a guarantee for going out and then ending up at Levi’s place. In fact, this was the first Friday that hadn’t been spent with Levi in over a month. This fact likely would have upset him if it were for any reason other than Armin’s arrival. 

“So pretty soon after you talked to me about it.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you happy?” 

“Yes, definitely.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Well, I’m tired. So goodnight, Eren.”

“Night.” Eren replied as he closed his eyes and waited for sleep to meet him.  
One of the reasons Eren loved Armin so much was because of how caring and nonjudgmental he was; he didn’t try to lecture Eren about the age difference or the implications of a student/teacher relationship. He just wanted Eren to be happy and if Levi could accomplish that for him, Armin was completely fine with that. 

-x-

The trio spent the next couple of days out and about around town. While passing countless store windows that boasted items that were promised to be “The perfect Christmas present”, Eren realized that he had yet to get anything for Levi. Shit. It was already December 23rd; he only had two days to figure out what to do for him. He had absolutely no clue what to get for him; what would he even want? What would he like? It wasn’t like he could afford something great, being a broke college student. Eren groaned in frustration and Armin immediately asked him what was wrong. Mikasa wasn’t there at the moment; she had disappeared and the two boys assumed that she had gone to buy their presents, so they continue on without her. 

“I still haven’t gotten a present for Levi.”

“Do you have any ideas about what you’d like to get him?”

“Not a single one.”

“Well, that’s rather problematic.”

It was already getting late and they decided it would be best to head home once they met back up with Mikasa. Armin said that him and Eren could run into town right away the next morning and get Levi a present; that would give them enough time to brainstorm something to give him. Eren would buy presents for Mikasa and Armin at that time, too.

About twenty minutes of waiting later and Mikasa appeared with a couple of shopping bags tucked under her arm so that the boys couldn’t see into them. Once they were home Mikasa made a beeline for her room to wrap the presents she had bought, and the boys sat down beside each other on the beaten old couch and sat in deep concentration. Eren racked his brain for ideas; it was incredibly difficult to think of something that was both in his budget and that he thought Levi would genuinely be happy with. The man would have been difficult to buy for even if Eren did have money. 

Armin broke Eren from his concentration when he said, “Well, I don’t think I’ll be able to help you out with this. Sorry, Eren. You really can’t think of anything?”

“Try telling me about him, maybe that’ll spark an idea.”

“Well, he’s overall pretty serious and he doesn’t really have any hobbies. He smokes often and he lives in a ridiculously clean apartment. His apartment is slightly unwelcoming because he doesn’t have any family pictures or anything since he doesn’t really even have a family…”

That was it. He didn’t have any pictures to make the apartment more inviting. There were very few pictures of Eren and Levi together but Eren had managed to get a couple throughout their few months together. He had one in mind that would be perfect; one night he had taken his camera with him to Le Bernadin and had asked for Hanji to take a picture of them. Eren had a huge grin on his face and Levi had stared disinterestedly at the camera as it captured the image of them sitting side by side. He would go get a print of that picture the next day along with a decent looking frame to put it in.

“Armin, I figured it out.” 

-x-

The next morning was Christmas Eve and Eren rolled out of bed and was dressed and pretty much ready to go before the other two even woke up. He left a note for them on the kitchen table stating that he would be back later. Armin had offered to go with Eren into town the night before but Eren had told him that it was okay; he needed to do most of his Christmas shopping then, anyways. 

Once he was in town he bought Mikasa and Armin’s presents first. He had bought Mikasa a light silver scarf to where so she wouldn’t have to wear the same goddamn red scarf every single day of the year. For Armin he bought a journal; Armin had always enjoyed documenting his daily life and Eren figured even if he currently had a journal that he would need another one at some point. Once in possession of the presents for his sister and best friend, he went to the Walgreens that was in town. There he got the photo developed and he managed to even find a frame there; a silver frame that gave off an overall sleek look. He thought it would fit in with Levi’s apartment décor decent enough. 

When he got home, he made sure to hightail it to his room before either of the others could try and get a peek at their presents, just like Mikasa had done the evening before. He carefully wrapped each present and once he was satisfied with the results, returned to the living room. They hadn’t bothered with a real Christmas tree and had just bought a small fake one that they had sitting on an end table. Eren placed Armin and Mikasa’s presents around the little tree and sat down with the others. The second he landed on the couch his phone went off; a glance at the caller i.d. and he saw that Levi was calling him. He stood back up and waited until he was in his room to answer.

“Hello?”

“Eren.”

“What?”

“What are you doing for Christmas? Are you spending it with Mikasa and Armin? You could have let me know what you were planning on.” Levi had known that Armin was visiting for Christmas; Eren had told him quite a few times in his excitement. Eren has just kind of assumed that he would spend half the day with Levi and half the day with the others; although he realized it probably would’ve been helpful to clue everyone else in on his plans.

“I was thinking I’d spend some of it with them and some of it with you.” And then, as an afterthought, Eren added “If that’s okay with you, of course.”

“Do you just want to come here in the evening, then?” That was Levi’s way of saying that he wanted Eren to spend the night.

“Sure. I’ll have to talk to the others about it, but-” Eren was cut off by Levi. 

“You mean to say you didn’t even think about this before now?”

“Well, no.”

“Dumbass.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow when I know what time I’ll leave for your place.” Eren told him, ignoring Levi’s comment. 

-x-

On Christmas morning the trio turned on the radio so that Christmas music would play all day and sat around their tiny fake tree. They distributed the presents amongst themselves and opened them one at a time. Armin was in love with his new journal and admitted that he had needed to buy a new one for a while now. Mikasa seemed fond enough of her new scarf and she immediately pulled the red scarf from her neck and replaced it with the new one. Mikasa had given Eren a couple of cheesy-looking movies for them to watch together; they had always found entertainment from sitting around on Saturday afternoons watching painfully cheesy movies. Armin had gotten Eren a new bag for his computer; Eren’s was incredibly worn down and Armin had felt it necessary to buy him a new one since he knew it was something Eren wouldn’t bother to buy for himself.

None of them had deemed making a fancy Christmas meal to be a priority, so they sat around and ate Christmas cookies and candy canes all day, neglecting normal food of any sort. At five o’ clock Eren called Levi and let him know that he planned on leaving the apartment soon. He said his goodbyes to Armin and Mikasa and thanked them again for the presents, and then grabbed Levi’s present and his keys and left the building.

He was anxious to give Levi his present; he hoped that he would like it at least somewhat. It was the only idea he had been able to come up with. He wished he could have gotten something a bit more lavish for the person he cared about most, but this would have to do.

Eren ascended to Levi’s floor via the escalator and knocked on Levi’s door; he didn’t have a key since every other time he had come over he had been accompanied by Levi himself. After a moment’s wait, Eren watched as the door opened and he stepped inside, taking a look at Levi. He was wearing a plain white button down shirt and black pants; nothing overly fancy was required from his apparel for the day. Levi closed the door behind Eren and then stood on his tiptoes so that he could kiss Eren as a greeting. The only indicator in the apartment that it was Christmas was the Christmas music playing softly in the background; Levi wasn’t the type to decorate for the holidays. 

Levi grabbed a small (roughly the size of somebody’s hand) box simply wrapped in shiny silver wrapping paper off of the counter and held it out to Eren. “Merry Christmas, Eren.”

Eren gingerly took the box from Levi’s outstretched hands and looked it over for a moment before removing the wrapping paper. He couldn’t even begin to guess at the contents of the box and curiosity clawed at him as he slowly tore off the wrapping paper in an attempt to not seem too eager. Levi watched as Eren successfully removed the wrapping from the box and lifted the lid off of it. Eren’s eyes widened when he caught sight of the silver’s reflective shine. He lifted the object to reveal an expensive looking silver watch; Eren thought that it looked vaguely familiar. He stared at it, left speechless as he turned it over in his hand and watched the silver shine with the shifted angle. 

“I’ve never seen you with a watch before so I assumed you didn’t have one. It matches mine.” Levi said, holding up his wrist so that Eren could confirm that their watches did, indeed, match. Those watches had not been cheap, and Eren was beginning to dread giving Levi his present. What Levi had given him was beautiful and Eren absolutely loved it.

“Thank you so much, Levi, I don’t really know what to say.” Eren replied, struggling to find words to convey his gratefulness. He slid the watch on, clasping it together and letting it settle into place upon his wrist.

“You’re welcome. Now, are you going to let me open that present right beside you, or is it just there for decoration?” 

Eren had no choice but to hand over the crudely wrapped (Eren wasn’t gifted in the art of wrapping) box. Levi’s thoughts were as unreadable as they always were, and anxiousness rolled through Eren. Levi carefully removed the wrapping paper enough to open the box that Eren had scavenged up to put the framed photo in. Levi set the box aside as he pulled out the frame and looked at it for a long moment. 

When Levi didn’t say anything, Eren panicked and rushed to explain himself. “I figured since you don’t have any pictures of anyone in here that it would be okay to give you a picture to put in here. I mean I wanted to get you something better but I didn’t really have the money and oh god I’m sorry you probably hate it and think it was the dumbest possible idea but I tried, it seemed like an okay idea but I understand if you don’t like it at all-”

Levi had set the frame down and cut Eren’s speech off by wrapping his arms around him. He looked up at Eren as he leaned against him. “Shut up. I love it.”  
Eren was relieved to hear the words come out of Levi’s mouth, and he leaned down so that he could connect his lips to Levi’s. Once they pulled away, Levi picked the picture in its frame back up. “Come on.” He led Eren into the living room and stopped in front of a table set up against the wall beneath the clock that hung there. The table was pretty much empty except for two decorative vases. He placed the picture in between the two vases.

“There. Thank you, by the way.”

“You’re welcome. I thought you’d hate it, really.”

“Why?”

“Because it doesn’t even compare to what you got for me.”

“You really are an idiot, Eren.”

-x-

The two spent the rest of the evening cuddled on the couch. The room was dimly lit and they didn’t have the TV or anything else on. For a while they simply laid there and talked; Eren told Levi all about Armin’s visit and how nice it had been to see him again and Levi listened, absentmindedly playing with Eren’s hair as he did so. When they ran out of things to talk about, they laid in comfortable silence accompanied only by the sound of their breathing. Eren eventually fell asleep against Levi and soon Levi was also sound asleep. 

In their state of contentment they would have never guessed that their bliss could ever meet its bitter end. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my last hurrah in the fluff department for several chapters to come so brace yourselves is all i'm gonna say.


	11. Breaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's past finally catches up with him, and Eren is around to see it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been waiting to write this chapter since I started the fic; I've been planning it since the beginning.

It was seven a.m. on a Saturday morning in March. Eren and Levi’s relationship had been going smoothly with few fights that lasted more than ten minutes. Their tradition of Eren always spending the night on Fridays had remained consistent. And so, Eren found himself untangling his limbs from Levi’s as he got up to get dressed and scavenge up some food for breakfast. Levi was still sound asleep beside him and did not stir as Eren removed himself from the bed. Eren was rifling through the fridge when he heard a firm knock on the door. He was still half-asleep and his conscious mind wasn’t entirely active yet; he figured it was Petra as she seemed to be the only person that really came to visit Levi’s apartment and so he didn’t bother with checking the peephole before opening the door. 

He was met with the shining muzzle of a gun aimed directly at his face. The person; a stocky man with a tattered suit and a beard that desperately needed a trim seemed about to pull the trigger until he got a look at Eren’s face; Eren was not his target. The man glanced around the apartment before returning his focus to Eren, who found himself paralyzed  
in fear and unable to make a single noise. 

“Where the fuck is he? Tell me where the fuck Levi is, or I shoot you dead, got it, brat?” He scowled at Eren and waved the gun around to ensure Eren that he was completely serious. 

“I-I-” Eren sputtered, unable to form words.

“What did I fucking say? Tell me where he fucking is right now!”

Eren was silent, mouth gaping open as he stared at the gun’s muzzle.

“Oh, I see how it is. Guarding him, are you? Well, you’ll be a shitty guard when you’re dead!” The man placed his finger upon the trigger and Eren was unable to move or do anything to protect himself.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion as Eren suddenly felt himself falling to the ground; he had been shoved out of the way. He looked up slowly and saw a man standing in front of the man who had been about to shoot Eren, pointing a small black pistol at the other man’s head. Eren’s mind sluggishly registered that the man was Levi, although Eren could barely recognize him. That expression wasn’t that of the caring man he had grown to love more than anything in the world in the past six or so months. The face in front of him was that of a cold-hearted killer with eyes as expressionless and dead as they came. 

“If you take so much as one step forward, I won’t hesitate to blow your fucking brains out.”

“We meet again, Levi.”

“I’m fucking serious. Or did you forget exactly what happened to the rest of your crew? Because I remember killing off every single one of the except for you.”

“We have unfinished business to take care of; did you think I’d really stop pursuing you?” The man looked like he was about to take a step towards Levi. Levi adjusted his hold on the gun.

“I fucking swear to god if you’re not out of here on the count of two I’m shooting.”

“You’re much more forgiving than the last time we met. Did society make you soft?”

Levi wrapped his finger around the gun’s trigger and took his final aim. But he didn’t aim for the other man’s head; he aimed for his arm instead. The blast was deafening and the other man cried out in pain, holding his bleeding arm as he turned around and fled. 

“This isn’t over, bastard!” He shouted as he hightailed it down the hallway and down the lengthy flight of steps; nobody used the steps instead of the elevator and nobody else would see him. Levi grabbed his cellphone from the kitchen table and quickly dialed; Erwin picked up on the first ring. Levi quietly whispered, “The survivor of the old crew gave me some trouble; cover for one gunshot and a man’s high-pitched scream. Make sure they don’t come into the apartment.” He hung up as soon as the words were out of his mouth; Erwin would waste no time in aiding Levi. Eren’s mouth was still hanging wide open and he lifted his hand to his face to see tears cascading down his cheeks. His whole body was shaking as he sat leaning up against the cabinets below the kitchen counter. The events of the past few moments had been surreal; a confused haze that slowly formed into actual concrete memories in Eren’s mind. All he felt was terror; both at the fact that he had just almost lost his life and at the fact that Levi had almost taken a life without hesitation. 

-x-

“Fuck” was the only thought that Levi could form as he slowly and carefully approached Eren; he would be left with no choice but to tell Eren everything. Levi had known his past would catch up to him at some point; but the chances of Eren being around hadn’t been great enough for Levi to have expected it to happen in Eren’s presence. It was all over; this was it. Levi could feel his heart shatter into pieces when he saw the terror in Eren’s eyes; he knew it was directed at him. The only reason he hadn’t killed the man immediately was because Eren was there; but Eren had still obviously realized that Levi would have felt no remorse by pulling the trigger and abruptly ending the other man’s life. He knelt down in front of Eren and a burst of mental pain shot through Levi as he watched Eren try to back away from him.

-x-

“S-stay away from me!” Eren shouted, tears streaming down his face as he frantically pushed his body back in an effort to keep distance from Levi.

“Eren…”

“Who the fuck are you? Tell me who the fuck you are right now because you’re obviously not the man I fell in love with! You’re just a cold-blooded murderer! A monster!” Eren was practically screaming at the top of his lungs by now.

“I did it to protect you.”

“T-Tell me who you fucking are right now!”

“You know who I am.”

“No, I don’t! I have no fucking clue who you are, because I don’t know any killers!”

Levi sighed deeply and closed his eyes for a moment. He opened his eyes to the sight of Eren shaking even harder than he had been before, sobs wracking his body. 

“Tell me everything right now, because you obviously felt it okay to lie to me about who you were!”

“Fine. I’ll tell you exactly who I am.”

Levi glanced once again at the terror-filled eyes of the person he loved before launching into the story that he had wished he could’ve told Eren from the very beginning.

-x-

“My family is a well-known, powerful force in the world of underworld society crime; specifically in the drug market. There were only ever two other groups that were as powerful as we were. However, my parents were low down on the hierarchy that was our family; they were entirely too weak. Their compassion and appreciation for the lives of humans caused their demise. They didn’t overdose on drugs, although in reality, it’s incredibly surprising that they didn’t considering exactly how often they fucked themselves up on them. They did die when I was young; I was telling the truth when I told you that I lost them. I was also truthful when I said I lived with an aunt whose alcoholism led to her demise. She fought tooth and nail for custody of me; she was the only member of our family who successfully made an exit from the crime ring. She didn’t want yet another child raised on the underworld lifestyle, and took me in as her own. She cared about me a lot and tried to provide me with a normal life. But she had too many memories of her time with the rest of the family that haunted her and ate away at her daily.

She turned to alcohol to attempt to drown out the demons of her past. Eventually, she couldn’t take it anymore; not even copious amounts of alcohol could stop her from reliving the past over and over again in her mind. And so she ended up killing herself. I was then sent to my Uncle who had four kids. He wasn’t a distant uncle; he was pretty much immediate family and I had met him and his children many times when I was a child. I became the youngest of the family and my Uncle took me under his wing; I lied when I said he was never around, because he was always around to watch over us and make us the best criminals that he could before sending us out to our places in the world of drugs and murder. 

The first lesson that he taught me was the art of being emotionless. It was dangerous to mourn and linger over the death of those around you; compassion ended up getting you killed off. Such was the case with my own parents, so I was able to firmly grasp the importance of keeping emotional composure at all times. Death was entirely too common in my world; sensitivity to death would have gotten me nowhere in the world.

At the age of seventeen, I was the most powerful person among my uncle’s children. Despite being the youngest, I had the best aim with a gun and was the best at composure no matter the situation. It was always an unspoken rule in the family that we did not send out the children who were younger than eighteen on outings; we felt everyone at least deserved to see their eighteenth birthday. But my uncle fully believed that I was ready, and I was. Two years later, and I was by far the strongest power in the family. 

I was given every kind of task that we dealt with; I transported drugs, I dealt drugs, I killed those who stood in my family’s way of being the most powerful in underground society. I was considered to be worth a whole group’s worth of men; I never missed my mark with a gun and I was able to break through any obstacle that stood in my way. I’ve killed more men than I could even begin to recall; never feeling a single hint of remorse. 

I was left to watch as every member of my family was wiped out one by one; I couldn’t protect my family members as I was always occupied with my own business. I avenged every single one of their deaths; I’ve wiped out whole groups by myself. Even when I was the last member of my own family, our family still held as much power as it had before. People tried to kill me constantly; I always killed them and then took their drugs from them as my token of victory. It’s a miracle that none of them did manage to kill me when I was fucked out of my mind on drugs; I did every drug you could possibly imagine. 

I sat there, alone in dark alleyways surrounded by a pile of drugs. My gun was kept right by my side to protect me as I sat there barely conscious, completely fucked on whatever drug I had chosen for the day. I never ran out; I had more than one person could possibly use all to myself. 

The police never bothered to try and stop the underworld from its constant war and storm of drugs; they simply didn’t have the resources to stop us. Instead, they tried to keep knowledge of us by normal society to a minimal amount. That’s why you’ve never heard any of our deaths on the news or anything like that; once you were in the underworld you were pretty much dead to society, anyways. The police accepted your death and made no efforts to catch whoever the perpetrator was. None of us considered the police to be a formidable enemy, especially me. Bold members of the police would at least make an honest attempt at catching an underworld criminal here and there; they avoided me entirely. I could take out anybody who tried to mess with me, and they all fucking knew it. There was only one person who had ever managed to get past me, and that was none other than Erwin Smith. He found me slumped in an alley with my hand on my gun but my mind so far away that it didn’t even matter. He somehow managed to convince me to let him speak with me; he waited in the abandoned alley with me all night until the next morning, when I was recovered enough to think logically. He told me that he didn’t want to have to take me into custody and have me locked away for the rest of my life, as that would be a complete waste, in his mind. 

He told me that if I were willing to abandon my life as an underworld criminal that he would help me become a functioning member of society. He originally wanted me to join the police force; I declined. If I were going to be a member of normal society, I didn’t want to have any exposure whatsoever to that type of lifestyle anymore, even though I wouldn’t be the one living it. And so he asked me to consider being a teacher; I obeyed. At first, I was reluctant to give up my life in the underworld; it had been all that I’d ever known. But I was exposed to a whole new lifestyle; one in which my own life wasn’t in danger every single day. One where I didn’t have to be on high alert at all times. One where I didn’t spend my time consuming enough drugs to be flirting with death. 

Not telling anybody my last name is a remnant of my past life. Although, in all honesty, I don’t even entirely remember what it was, in the first place. If somebody asked for me to spell it I highly doubt it would match up with whatever document holds the real thing. Last names were far too dangerous to have as an underworld criminal; if rivals could have access to your last name then they could have access to your life. It was suicide to attach yourself to a last name.

But you need to understand that I’m not the man I used to be. However, I will never be fully separated from my past; my name situation is evidence of that. My past will always be a part of me but I refuse to let it completely define me. I wanted to tell you so bad, Eren. But I couldn’t I wanted nothing more than to protect you, because if you knew, you would have been in danger. Not that it made a difference in the end, anyways.” Levi added as a bitter after thought. He had tried so hard to protect Eren and live a content life with him and that was all crumbling down around them. Eren’s tears hadn’t stopped falling.

“I let myself live in an illusion that this would all somehow work out and end in a decent result. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Eren, you’re all I have. I realize that lying to you about my whole life was the wrong decision; it’s the only decision I’ve ever fully come to regret. Please, I’m begging you, give me a second chance.” Levi voice broke as he choked on his words, trying to keep composure out of instinctual habit. Eren was the one thing he truly cared about in his life; he couldn’t even remember how he spent his days before him and Eren got together; Eren had filled a void in his heart and all he had known before was being alone. Because Levi had always been alone; everyone around him ended up dying. That was by far the most unfortunate aspect of holding power; you saw the fall of anyone weaker than you. There was Petra and Hanji and even Erwin, but he did not intimately care for them the way he did with Eren. Eren was the one person who had seen Levi for he was. No, that wasn’t right. He hadn’t seen Levi in his entirety. Until now, he hadn’t been exposed to the sight of Levi’s expressionless face as he gripped a gun, ready to end a life at any given moment.

As Levi finished speaking, he absentmindedly extended his arm towards Eren, as if to touch his face. Eren flinched away and with a trembling breath, he said, “How could I possibly trust a monster like you?” 

Levi looked as if somebody had physically slapped him. So Eren really did believe him to be a monster, after all.

“I wanted to tell you so bad…I just wanted to keep you as far out of harm’s way as I possibly could…” He muttered, his voice becoming shakier with each sentence.

“Shut the fuck up! Just shut up! How can I believe a word you say when you fucking lied to me about your whole goddamn life? How could you even live with yourself, keeping all of that a secret for all the time?”

“I thought I had made the right decision but I know that I was wrong. I told you I regret it. Please, Eren. I’m begging you.”

“You fucking betrayed my trust!”

“Because you’re the only thing I have left to care about! I was doing it for you, not against you!”

“That doesn’t matter! Obviously you didn’t trust me enough to begin with! Our whole relationship is founded on lies. But who gives a fuck about that? Yeah, I should definitely give you a second chance! Because that’s such a good decision on my part! You don’t fucking deserve somebody to love you, you cold-hearted fucking murderer.” Eren’s eyes blazed with fury instead of terror; Levi was losing his composure and that made the situation slightly less terrifying to Eren. Levi was about to break down, and Eren decided that he deserved it.

“Eren, please.”

“I hope you fucking rot in hell, you bastard!” Eren screamed, getting up and running back to the bedroom; he needed his phone. He would call a cab and meet it outside and then he would be gone and out of Levi’s life for good. For now, he couldn’t let his mind dwell on everything that had just happened. Right now, he just needed to get away from the man in the kitchen who was most definitely not the person he had fallen in love with. The blissful past six months of his life had just been shattered in the span of what couldn’t have been much more than a half hour. Everything was destroyed, just like that. He tried to keep some small measure of stability in his voice as he called a cab for as fast as it could possibly get there. He returned to the kitchen to find that Levi had not moved; he was blankly staring into the space that Eren had occupied just moments ago. 

Eren made his way through the living room and straight through the kitchen as fast as he could make himself go. As he grabbed the handle of the door, he looked right at Levi and shouted, “I really wish I’d never have to lay eyes on you ever again!” And with that, he slammed the door behind him, leaving Levi alone to stare at the wall, feeling every negative emotion at once.

-x-

Eren was gone. That was it. Everything that had happened with them during the past six months was over. Levi could feel a tear roll down his face; he hadn’t cried in many, many years. He slowly rose up from the kitchen floor so that he could grab a pack of cigarettes from the counter. He couldn’t be bothered to go outside; he ended up letting himself fall back down to the floor and grabbed a cigarette from the box with trembling fingers. It took him four attempts to successfully light it; that was how badly he was shaking. He had stayed so strong for so many years; hadn’t felt the slightest hint of sadness even at the death of his own family. But Eren walking out of his life just like that caused him to reach his breaking point; nobody stayed strong forever. Once the first cigarette was gone, Levi immediately grabbed another. He desperately needed something to soothe him; he wasn’t used to feeling such an intense mix of sadness, frustration, and anger. The anger was directed at himself for making the wrong choice. Eren had been right, he had betrayed him. 

He had been so sure that he had been doing the right thing for so long.

He had been wrong. And now he had nothing left.

After half of the cigarettes in the previously unopened pack were gone, Levi realized that for the first time in many years, he craved something stronger than cigarettes. The thought terrified him; he had been clean of drugs for so many years. But the thought was tempting to a person who had nothing left to live for. What good was it being a normal member of society when your past always caught up with you, anyways? 

Levi sat there on the floor for hours. He did nothing but stare blankly into space; he had finished the pack of cigarettes and couldn’t muster the strength to get up and find another pack.

Eren was gone for good.

-x-

Eren had been unable to stop the flow of his tears even in the presence of the taxi driver; thankfully, drivers had seen everything throughout their career and didn’t pry. Mikasa was home when he arrived. She had looked up from her spot on the couch and had been about to ask how Eren was doing when he streaked past, slamming his bedroom door shut and locking the door. He fell to his knees onto the floor as soon as he set foot into his room. Sobs violently wracked his body and the tears kept falling down his face and onto the floor. He had never felt so much emotional pain in his whole life; it was over. Just like that.

Eren placed his head in his hands and through vision blurred with tears, noticed the familiar silver shine of the watch that Levi had given him for Christmas. He angrily tore it off of his wrist, staring at it for a minute before standing up. With all of the force he could muster, he furiously chucked it at the wall. He heard the glass of the timepiece shatter and fall in tiny shards onto the floor. The watch lay on the floor directly in front of the wall. He never wanted to see the stupid fucking thing ever again; he didn’t need anything that that fucking monster gave to him.

Mikasa was knocking furiously at the door and shouting for Eren to open up the door. Eren crumbled back onto the floor and drew his knees up to his chest, rocking back and forth as he sobbed. The worst part was that he would be faced with the sight of Levi daily; he couldn’t exactly avoid his own Professor.

Eren screamed for Mikasa to leave her alone and she ceased knocking. She realized that Eren needed time to calm down a bit. 

Eren’s mind frantically jumped from memory to memory that he had shared with Levi. Their first date. The first time Eren spent the night at Levi’s apartment, cuddle into his arms. Christmas, when he had given Levi the picture of the two of them. Their daily coffee shop visits.

All of that meant absolutely nothing now.

Eren had eventually let Mikasa into the room; she held him similarly to how a mother would hold her child who had just woken up from a nightmare. He eventually stopped crying and had taken to staring off into space, his mind flooded with memories that he wished he could just forget. He had trusted Levi with his very soul; he had given the man his heart, and Levi had taken it and stopped right on it.

Mikasa got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom to hear muffled sobs coming from Eren’s room.

After a six month relationship filled with bliss and happiness, it had all met its bitter end. Eren and Levi were no longer together.


	12. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The breakup is hard on both parties involved.

For Eren, Sunday was spent lying in bed. He didn’t wake up until around noon; the piercing sound of his phone ringing on his nightstand caused him to open his eyes and check the name that came up on the phone. It was Levi. Memories of the previous day came crashing down onto Eren as he stared at the familiar name on his cellphone. He didn’t pick up but instead listened to the harsh noise that filled his small bedroom; he felt paralyzed. He wasn’t ready to face the day yet, although, in reality he probably would have found himself unable to face any day in that moment. Sleep had not been peaceful for Eren; his dreams had been a confused mess that all originated back to Levi and the fast that Eren was finally allowed to know. Levi had turned out to be a completely different person from who Eren thought he knew so well.

Eren tried to convince himself that this was for the better; a student/teacher relationship could only make it so far before somebody would have caught it. Eren wasn’t reassured by the thought; the observations of those around him mattered very little to him right now. All he could manage to think about was the story he had been told the previous day. 

He wanted to hate Levi; he wanted to truly believe that Levi was nothing but a cruel monster, because that made everything easier.

If he was really a monster, Eren would have no problems moving on and just forgetting about the past six months. And Levi had to be a monster. There had been no shred of remorse in Levi’s eyes when he aimed the gun at the other man. 

But there had also been an overwhelming amount of hurt and sorrow in his otherwise blank stare as Eren had been walking out. And he couldn’t deny or misinterpret that expression no matter how hard he tried to.

He wouldn’t let Levi back in his life, though. He couldn’t bear to be hurt again the way that he was yesterday; that was unbearable. He choked back a sob by thinking about how Levi had begged him for a second chance, how he poured his heart out to Eren. Levi may not have been a true monster, but Eren couldn’t trust him. Trying to grow close to Levi had been a mistake. He never should have attempted to get to know the mysterious teacher who had taught high school physics and college biology. 

Instead of focusing on the pain in Levi’s eyes, Eren focused on the concept of betrayal. Of lying to the person you claimed to love. Of mercilessly killing what probably amounted to hundreds of people, even if they had all been criminals like Levi. That sparked his anger; a very familiar emotion to Eren. Anger was easy to feel, and so he let anger run through him. He never wanted to have to see Levi’s face again; it would just piss him off. The next morning would be hell; Eren would have no choice but to look at the face of the one he had loved the most yesterday but hated the most today.

Eren’s phone was ringing again. He considered answering it, if only to threaten Levi about daring to call him one more time. But he decided it was impossible to sound menacing when your voice shook, trying to fight back the tears.

Levi didn’t call again.

-x-

Levi sighed deeply as he head Eren’s answering machine for the second time. It wasn’t surprising in the slightest that Eren had refused to pick up the phone; that didn’t mean it wasn’t slightly disappointing when he didn’t. That was when Levi realized that Eren wasn’t coming back. If he had decided on giving Levi a second chance, he would have let him know by now. Eren made quick decisions and Levi was fully aware that one day later, there was no doubt a choice was made. 

This was why Levi had never let anybody into his life before. Why he had refused such a pointless emotion. Love was pointless, it got you nowhere. And now that the only entity in Levi’s life that he had truly cared about was gone, Levi had nothing left.

Instead of setting down his phone, Levi dialed a number that he hadn’t dialed in years. He set the phone up to his ear and listened to it ring.

-x-

Late at night on Sunday, Eren was tossing back and forth restlessly among his sheets, locked in a nightmare.

Him and Levi were on the couch of Levi’s apartment; Levi was on top of Eren and their kisses were increasing steadily in aggressiveness and Levi was in the process of tearing Eren’s clothes from his body. Eren closed his eyes to take in the moment. He opened them again when he suddenly no longer felt Levi’s hands on his body. Eren was met with the sight of Levi holding the familiar black pistol to his face, staring at him with the same emotionless expression he had harnessed when shooting the man from Saturday.

Eren screamed as he heard the blast; his conscious mind returned to him as he sat up in bed. He realized he was still screaming. He waited for Mikasa to come barging in, as he knew she would. She did not disappoint, and within a minute has sitting beside Eren, an obvious look of concern on her face. “What happened? Was it a nightmare?”

“It was…I…” Eren never got any farther than that in his attempted explanation; yet again he was struggling to contain his tears. Mikasa had seen him as a sobbing mess enough for the past day; she didn’t need to see it again.

But when Eren’s mind began playing back the events of his dream; he could no longer fight against the oncoming wave of burning tears. Mikasa wrapped her arms around Eren in an effort to console him as he was consumed by the nightmares that had been both in a state of consciousness and in a state of dreaming.

The next morning Eren made a pathetic pass as getting Mikasa to let him stay home from class by saying he didn’t feel well. Although that wasn’t exactly a lie, Mikasa refused to accept that excuse knowing full well why Eren was refusing class. She didn’t blame him one bit but getting behind on his studies while he healed from the aftermath of his and Levi’s breakup was only going to hurt him in the long run.

And so Eren found himself sitting in his spot in the Biology One lecture hall, eyes focused only on his computer as he avoided having to look up and see the man who had broken his heart.

The class seemed to last for an eternity; an excruciating hour and a half as he wished he could just fade into oblivion. Any cruel sort of punishment would have been easier to deal with than being in the same room with Levi.

Eventually, the bell did ring, announcing the end to Eren’s personal hell as he gathered up his belongings at a near impossible speed and darted out of the classroom. Despite his best efforts, he found himself with his head turned, eyes fixed on Levi’s back as he exited the lecture hall, himself.  
There was still two months left of school. 

Those months could be over with tomorrow and it still wouldn’t be soon enough for Eren. 

Irritation itched at him as his thoughts once again fixed on the Professor. That was all Levi was to him now; his professor. And never again would he be anything more, Eren realized. 

He hated Levi. 

-x-

The voice on the other end of the phone was almost comforting in its familiarity. 

“Hello?” the smooth yet noticeably aged voice said upon answering the call.

“It’s me.” Levi replied; that was all he needed to say.

“Ah, Levi, what a surprise. It’s certainly been a long time; been hearin’ rumors lately that you must be dead, since nobody’s heard about ‘ye in such a long time. Back into the business? What can I do to help ‘ye?”

“I’m no longer in the business and haven’t been for years. I have no intention of going back. What I need from you today is for personal use only.”

“Awh, Levi, you should know better than anyone else that you can’t just keep one foot in and one foot out of the underworld.”

“Just do it.”

“Fine. But only because I think it’d suit you well to come back to the underworld; society never did suit you. What do you want?”

“White lady would be preferred.”

“Sure, got plenty ‘o that here. When you want it by?”

“I’ll come get it now.”

“Desperate?”

“Stop asking questions.”

“As you wish, Levi. I’ll see you in a little while; you know where to find me.”

“Of course.”

Levi listened as the other line went dead before clicking his own phone off and getting up to leave. He grabbed a cigarette and lit it on his way to his car.

It had been a long time, indeed.

-x-

Now that Eren no longer had plans on Friday nights, he found himself sitting at home staring at the wall, trying not to think about Levi too much. Five days later and he still wasn’t particularly stable emotionally, but at least by now he was functional. Somewhat. Still, he found himself in a state of acute agony as he sat on the old couch in front of the TV. Mikasa arrived home a short time later, at first taken by surprise to see Eren sitting around before remembering that he no longer had reason to be getting ready to leave on Fridays. 

Mikasa always spent her Fridays at parties thrown by whoever felt like hosting; they weren’t overly huge and obnoxious parties but they weren’t tiny, personal get-togethers, either. Perhaps that would be just the thing to help out Eren.

“Hey, Eren.” Mikasa started as she strode into the living room, sitting down gently beside him.

“Yeah?” He answered, voice edged with boredom as well as the now constantly present bit of sadness. She knew that he was trying his best to get over Levi, and it broke her heart to watch him struggle.

“I’m going to a party tonight, is there any way I could convince you to come with me?”

Eren was heavily learning towards immediately replying with a “no”, but reconsidered.

It was either go to the party and attempt to behave like a typical college student or sit here consumed by unpleasant memories.

“Sure, why not? I’ll go.”

-x-

Levi wasted no time in traveling to the old man’s house. Levi had considered him to be somewhat of an ally; as much as any member of a group other than the one he belonged to could be. The man was much more gentle than most dealers; a welcome change of pace from the murderous dogs that Levi had always dealt with everywhere else. The man’s objective was unclear; nobody knew exactly why or how he was in the underworld as a criminal just like the rest of them. He had become well-known when he was a greying old man already, which was practically unheard of in the underworld. You started young and died young; barely anyone lived long enough to own a head covered in grey hair.

Levi pulled up to the house that the man called his own. The man had chosen a hidden-in-plain-sight approach when it came to choosing his location. While the neighborhood was fairly quiet and many of the houses left unpopulated, it was a busy enough of an area to be considered extremely risky to be dealing drugs out of. 

Levi grabbed the cash that he had gotten out of an ATM on his way to the man’s house and closed his car door behind him. He knocked in a pattern that he hadn’t had to use in years; the series of raps against the door was clumsy in comparison to the smoothness that it held in past days. Despite that, the door opened almost immediately and Levi was being led down the hallway into a small room that was easy to overlook. Once inside, the old man closed the door behind him.

“How much you wantin’?”

“Just enough for today.”

“Oh? That’s barely anything. Especially for you, Levi. I know you have certain affection for a certain white lady.” He was right; cocaine had always been Levi’s preferred substance. But today was Sunday and he still had to work in the morning. He almost wanted to laugh bitterly at the thought; here he was, giving in after years and still thinking about making sure he was coherent enough to get up for work in the morning. But Erwin would notice if Levi began missing work. If Erwin found out that Levi was doing drugs again, even if only for one time (Which he fully intended to be it; he just needed this to deal with today. He had barely made it through the night last night, if he had been able to get himself up off of the kitchen floor, it was damn near certain that he would have done this yesterday.), Erwin would refuse to give him a second chance. Just like Eren would refuse to give him a second chance at a relationship.

Levi would have nowhere else to go and would fall back into the underworld.

Although, would he really mind?

Eren was no longer in his life.

What did it really matter that he remains an upstanding citizen?

A voice in the farthest corner of his mind answered his question for him.

Because all hope might not be lost with Eren. There was a chance, no matter how small, that Eren would forgive him one day.

So, for now, one day was all he needed. One day of a drug-induced ignorance. Because ignorance really was bliss, after all.

“Just give me enough for today.”

“Whatever you want.”

The exchange was made and Levi had turned so that he could begin back to his car.

“I’ll see you soon, Levi.”

“Like hell you will.” 

Levi got back into his car and drove away, a pathetic form of eagerness to get home gnawing away at him.

It had been so long.

-x-

Eren entered the house that tonight’s party was held at. Music came blasting from the living room and there were people every way that Eren looked. Red plastic cups were in the hands of damn near every student that was standing around. It was truly the epitome of a horridly cliché college party. This was the first one that Eren had ever been to; he decided he wasn’t missing anything overly important. He also considered that it could have seemed that way due to the emotional stupor he had been in since Saturday. Perhaps both were at fault for his reluctance to involve himself in the party socially. He attempted to stay by Mikasa but she was soon separated from him, lost among the masses.

Eren grabbed a beer from the table that was filled to the brim with booze (Which one of these students could even afford to fund this shit, anyways?) and made his way into the crowded living room. Around him, people were dancing and the couples who had started their night’s activities on the couch had strayed into the bedrooms that adorned the house, leaving the couches fairly empty.

He sat down on a couch that was completely unoccupied and settled in. At first he only sipped at the beer, but that soon bored him. Soon he was chugging and the beer was quickly emptied. He got up and got another one to find Jean and Marco and a couple others holding shot glasses, about to take a shot of god-knows-what. Marco noticed Eren’s approach and waved him over.

“Eren! Haven’t seen you around here at all before.”

“Yeah. I’m normally busy on Friday nights but tonight I’m not, so I came with Mikasa.”

“I see. Wanna do a shot with us? You’re more than welcome to; I’ll grab you a glass.”

“Sure. Thanks.” Eren replied, accepting a simple shot glass from Marco. It turned out the mystery shot was simply vodka. Everyone counted to three and then did the shot at once. 

The alcohol burned down Eren’s throat but he welcomed the sensation.

There was no better way to forget about a harsh breakup than to drink it away in the company of plenty of other people, Eren thought.

And so another shot came and went. And so did another. Eren consumed far more alcohol in a short amount of time than he ever had before.

By the time Eren left the booze table, walking in a straight line had suddenly becoming a daunting concept. He decided to sit on the couch for a while and try to recover enough to not stumble wherever he walked. He sat alone for some time before a familiar blonde sat down beside him.

Looking about as interested in life as ever, Annie began talking to Eren. She got right to the point.

“What are you even doing here? I didn’t think you came to this shit.”

“Nothin better ta do.” Eren replied, trying to focus on Annie. Doing so was surprisingly difficult to accomplish. 

“I see. Well, I’m bored as hell. You look like you’re not doing anything. Want to leave or something?”

“N’aw Anneh I’m fine stayin right her.” Eren replied; his words slurred together sloppily as he struggled to speak in a coherent manner.

“Whatever.” Annie said, not caring enough about Eren’s state of intoxication to make a comment on it.

Eren gazed at Annie. She really was pretty; how nice it was for him to be one of the few people she had ever attempted to talk to.

For lack of anything better to do and with decision-making skills depleted with alcohol consumption, Eren grabbed Annie’s shoulders.

She didn’t protest as he closed the distance between their faces and pressed his lips sloppily against hers.

-x-

Levi cleared off the surface of his dresser and set down the tiny bag that he had acquired from the old man. After making the necessary preparations, Levi found himself one step away from once again doing what he had so long ago vowed to give up forever.

Without further hesitation, he snorted the cocaine before him. He was no longer accustomed to the feeling, he realized. The drug soon took its affect and Levi sat down heavily on the couch and allowed the high to wash over him.

In that time, he was freed from every emotion he had felt since the day he had let Eren into his heart. He no longer felt yesterday’s pain and there was no necessity to dwell on the love that had been shared between them.

There was only Levi and his drug-induced oblivion.


	13. Aftermath (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second part of the aftermath of Eren and Levi's breakup.

Annie didn’t pull away as an extremely intoxicated Eren pulled her to him and pressed his lips up against hers. She had always held a soft spot towards him; he was unlike most other college students and that made her more inclined to open up to him. She knew that he didn’t actually love her; she had her own suspicions about where Eren had placed his affections. But the boy seemed lonely and she figured that he wouldn’t get himself drunk off his ass for no reason like the rest of the idiots in the room. And so while she didn’t passionately return the kiss, she didn’t pull away or stop it, either.

Eventually Eren broke the messy kiss and lost his balance sitting on the couch and fell into Annie. She caught him with a surprisingly firm grip helped him steady himself. One look at his eyes signified that he was so far gone that he would probably have no recollection of the night’s events when he awoke in the morning. He grinned at her childishly and began to close his eyes as if he thought it was socially acceptable to pass out right then and there. With a glance around the room, Annie realized he would have been only one of many to spend the night carelessly passed out in the large room. However, she determined the look to be unbecoming of Eren and began helping him up so that she could return him to Mikasa. Since Mikasa never drank enough to get drunk, she would be able to take him home.

Eren had long since lost all sense of coordination and balance and fell as soon as Annie tried to let him stand on his own after he argued that he was able to walk by himself. He landed on his hands and knees and just stayed in that position for a moment, looking distraughtly up at Annie, as if he didn’t know how this had happened and had zero clues on how to go about fixing it. He probably didn’t, Annie added in as a thought.

Annie once again hoisted the boy into her arms; it must have been an entertaining sight to see a barely 5’ girl carrying a significantly taller boy who was passed out cold. He had passed out as soon as Annie stabilized him in her arms. She looked outside first and luckily found Mikasa standing around amidst a fairly large circle of people, a beer with about half of its contents left in her hand. She saw Annie approaching from the entrance to the house and strode hastily over to her when she noticed that the figure in her arms was Eren. Annie wasted no time and began talking as soon as Mikasa was within earshot.

“I think now would be a good time for you guys to leave.”

“What happened?”

“He can’t even stand on his own; he’s drank himself into quite a stupor. Even made a pass at me before deciding he could just walk out of the house and go home on his own.”

Mikasa was shocked when Annie mentioned that Eren had made a pass at her; but she immediately figured out the reason behind it. It had been him stubbornly attempting to get his mind past Levi and doing dumb shit to accomplish that goal; it hadn’t been the first time Eren had acted rashly and extremely idiotically. A pang of sadness hit Mikasa, knowing that Eren had done this because of his despair over the end of the only relationship he had ever really been in. Annie said nothing more as Eren changed hands between the two girls. Eren was out cold; he didn’t stir at all as he was passed over to Mikasa. With a heavy sigh Mikasa carried her brother into the car, praying that he wouldn’t wake up and vomit in her car during the ride home.

-x-

Friday night. For the first time in six months, Levi would be spending the evening by himself. The week had been unbearable on its own; without the influence of drugs Levi had been forced to face the demons that ate away at him every single moment of the day. Eren had changed him and now he was left to reconsider every instance that he had been pushed to take the life of another person. Countless faces flashed through his mind; all deceased long ago. But by far the most often recurring face was Eren’s, and the pain didn’t dull no matter how many times he tried to push thoughts of Eren away from his mind. The week had dragged on and on and Levi had begun to think it was never going to end until he found himself parked in front of his apartment on Friday afternoon.

He was about to open the door and head inside until he realized what it really meant to be Friday. Friday meant that there was no reason to wake up and get dressed in the morning; no classes to teach or students and teachers to be forced to converse with throughout the day.

Nobody seeing him meant that nobody would be able to tell if he was spending his time alone with cocaine (or whatever other substance he might ever be in the mood for) or not.

But no, he couldn’t do that. He had firmly convinced himself that his Sunday spent mentally away from everything was a one-time occurrence; his life in normal society would be put at too much risk if he sunk back into his old ways too far. He was a changed person; the affairs of the underworld and the drugs that he so desired were no longer of use to him. They were no longer his personal business.

But the week had been excruciating enough on its own. And the weekend brought entirely too much free time to think, to be a person capable of thought and consideration.

Without even realizing he had pulled his phone out, Levi too easily dialed the number that he knew by heart.

-x-

Luck had so far been on Mikasa’s side, and Eren hadn’t stirred in the seat beside her. Getting him out of the car without somehow waking him up was another issue entirely.

She slowly unbuckled Eren’s seatbelt and began moving him into a position that would allow her to gather him up into her arms. As she was getting a firm grasp on Eren, Eren woke up and stared at Mikasa with a bewildered expression.

He looked like he was opening his mouth to say something to Mikasa but instead he turned his head to the side, so that he was facing away from Mikasa. An ugly noise escaped Eren’s throat as a good portion of the alcohol Eren had consumed came spilling onto the ground below them. Thankfully, Mikasa had him leaning outside of the car so nothing spilled into her car itself. Eren had been about to fall into the pile of his own vomit when Mikasa tightened her hold on him. He stared blankly at the mess below him as Mikasa hoisted him up and started towards their apartment’s front entrance. He once again slipped into cold unconsciousness as Mikasa trudged slowly up the stairs and into their apartment. She cleaned him up in the bathroom (Not all of the vomit had quite made it to the ground) and set him in his bead, covering him with his comforter before turning off the lights in the room. She decided to stay there with him, in case he woke up in the middle of the night to puke or just in case anything happened in general; Eren had never really been drunk before. He had consumed his fair share of alcohol but it had never been nearly enough to cause the stupor he was currently in.

She had made a good decision by staying; an hour and a half after she took watch over him his sides started heaving and she had a bucket to his face before he was even conscious. Sweat covered his brow as he lay back down and soon fell asleep again. Mikasa stayed up all night worrying about him; not just the sickness his intoxication had caused him, but the emotional agony that he was going through that she could do nothing to help him out with. This was his battle and nobody would be able to truly help him through it; but it was still awful seeing Eren this way.

In the morning, he opened his eyes slowly and Mikasa could immediately tell that he had sobered up and was once again in possession over his mind. Eren could feel somebody seated beside him and for a moment he was positive that the body belonged to Levi; in his alcohol-sickened state he had forgotten that he and Levi were no longer together. The first word out of his mouth was, “Levi?” and he slowly looked up to find Mikasa, not Levi. The light that had returned to his eyes for a moment died instantly and he finally remembered that Levi was no longer a part of his life. Sadness flooded through Mikasa when she saw Eren’s face fall. “Mi-” he was cut off by heaving yet again, Mikasa sadly placed the bucket in front of his face as Eren emptied the rest of the alcohol from his stomach. He felt like shit. 

“Oh, Eren.” Mikasa murmured quietly as she ran her fingers through a strand of Eren’s hair. Eren would spend the entirety of his Saturday lying in bed; there was no way that he would be able to drag himself out of bed. Mikasa understood and brought him a tray adorned with two pieces of toast and a small glass of water, telling him that he needed to get at least something into his stomach and begin rehydrating himself. He asked for ibuprofen; she refused until he choked down the last bite of the toast. His head was killing him and he closed his eyes and took a nap in an effort to sleep off the hangover; he wouldn’t wake up until several hours later when Mikasa would hand him his phone so that he would answer whoever was calling him.

-x-

For the second time in less than a week, Levi found himself at the house that was hidden in plain sight. It felt as if he wasn’t even truly in control of his body as he mechanically made his way up the steps and knocked on the door, waiting for it to open and allow him to claim what he so desperately needed. 

“I knew you’d be back. Want me to hook you up with some jobs that need to get done?” The man said, smirking slyly despite his elderly face. 

“No. Definitely not.” Levi replied, following the man inside and finding his way to the same little room as last time.

“Are you sure? Because you seem to lack the resolve necessary to prevent you from coming back from more.”

“Shut up.” Levi hissed through gritted teeth; he was angry enough with himself already and didn’t need anybody else pointing that out.

“You didn’t specify what you wanted on the phone. More white lady, I’d assume?”

“Yes.”

“Coming right up. You have the money, right?”

“Do I look like a complete idiot to you?”

“Of course not.” The man smiled as he found the drawer that was stocked to the brim with cocaine; he paused in order to ask Levi another question.

“How much this time? You really did leave out most of the important details in your call.

Levi stopped a minute to consider; it was Friday evening. He had Saturday and Sunday to himself without any plans. “Enough to last me through the weekend.”

“Coming right up.”

After grabbing a few small packets from the drawer, the man held them out to Levi as he motioned with his fingers for Levi to hand over the money that he had retrieved from his wallet. The man told Levi how much was required and Levi counted out the money, handing it over at the same time as the man handed him the packets. Levi let out a cruel sigh of relief as he felt the smoothness of the packets in between his fingers. He hurriedly exchanged parting words with the man; he asked if Levi had reconsidered taking on some jobs to introduce him back into the underworld and Levi again declined. 

Levi was anxious to get home.

-x-

Eren took the phone from Mikasa and set it to his ear. He hadn’t recognized the phone number, and so his voice was slightly hesitant when he said, “Hello?”

“Eren. It’s Annie.”

“Oh. Hi, Annie. You don’t seem like the type to willingly call people.”

“You’re right, I’m not. I’ll explain later but mind if I come over to your apartment for a while? Just, like, hang out or something.”

“I don’t really feel that well today.”

“I know. Trust me; I remember last night a thousand times better than you do. Can I come over?”

“I guess. When?”

"Like twenty minutes?”

Eren provided Annie with an address and directions and hung up. Mikasa had still been sitting beside him and heard the whole conversation. Eren asked her, “Do you have any idea why she wants to suddenly come and hang out?”

“Not a clue, to be honest. She’s always been a bit more open around you than anyone else, though. I guess you just have that effect on people.” Mikasa added in the last bit without thinking; she had been referencing how Levi had been willing to let Eren be a part of his life. Eren looked crestfallen as he sat up in bed in preparation for Annie’s arrival. 

“I’m sorry, Eren.”

“It’s fine.” It probably wasn’t fine, Mikasa thought, but she dropped the topic. Eren was grateful for that but they sat in an uncomfortable silence until there was a knock on the apartment door; at which point Mikasa got up and answered the door. Eren hoped that since Annie had seen what had happened last night she would take pity on him and not make him get up out of bed. She didn’t, and as she entered his room she quietly asked Mikasa if she would let them be alone for a while. Mikasa narrowed her eyes slightly but then remembered that Annie was actually an incredibly trustworthy person; she had no time for pulling bullshit. Mikasa closed the door behind her, leaving only Eren and Annie in Eren’s bedroom.

“So,” Annie started, “About last night.”

-x-

Levi had carefully calculated out how much of his small pile of drugs he could use that night, and how he would split it up for the rest of the weekend. Levi once again made his way onto his couch and simply sat there as he let the high wash over him, take over his thought process, and make him feel absolutely nothing regarding the world moving on around him. If anything, he felt great. There was nothing that was wrong in his mind when he was high on cocaine. He felt great and he felt numb to emotional damage. His bedroom dresser looked like a scene from a stereotypical drug-related movie; the razor blade, the line of white powder, everything about it. Levi couldn’t be bothered to care and didn’t clean up after himself; it was only a matter of time before the next hit, anyways.

Ten o’ clock on Friday night. Levi only had enough for one more hit from the amount he had allotted for the night. It had gone quicker than he anticipated. 

Levi sat there, mind far away as the heavy amount of cocaine he had snorted that night took its effect on Levi. After his last hit for the night, he lay on his couch and closed his eyes. Coherency had become a foreign concept; while Levi had learned throughout the years how to stay fully functional while high, it had been so long that he had long since forgotten how. Eyes half-closed, Levi stared into space until he passed out sitting up. He didn’t wake up until noon the next day. He noticed that his nose had bled at some point; he carelessly wiped the dried blood off onto the sleeve of his grey button-down shirt. As his conscious mind began working, Levi got up and headed straight for his bedroom dresser.

-x-

Panic passed through Eren’s expression before he caught himself and attempted to keep composure.  
“What about last night?”

“Do you remember anything?”

“Not really. I remember a couple of the shots, but that’s about it.”

“So you’re unaware that you grabbed me and tried making out with me.”

“I-what?” Eren asked. He was confused; he had actually done that? He had assumed that had been another screwed up dream. 

“Uh-huh. I figured you wouldn’t remember.”

“Listen, Annie. Whatever I attempted to make happen with you last night was because I was drunker than hell, and-” Eren’s speech was cut off by Annie.

“Look, I know you’re not interested in me. I get that.”

“How do you know?”

Annie smirked slightly; so slightly that Eren wondered if it were only his imagination. 

“You stopped going to the coffee shop this week. I haven’t seen you in there once.”

“So? I started getting lunch with Mikasa instead.” That was a lie; his and Mikasa’s schedules often didn’t even match up for getting lunch together; he had simply been opting out of eating lunch since the breakup. He couldn’t bear to walk into that coffee shop knowing that Levi would most likely be sitting there, sipping his coffee and reading the paper nonchalantly as if nothing had happened last weekend. The coffee shop had been one of the strongest symbols of their relationships, and there had been no way Eren would have been able to make himself step in there no matter how much he liked their coffee. 

“Eren, I’m a sophomore and thus I’ve been here for a good year and a half so far. I started working at the coffee shop in the very beginning of my freshman year, and Professor Levi has been a daily customer since long before I even started working there. According to my manager, he had been going there since he started about four years ago. Hasn’t missed a single weekday; he never gets sick enough to miss a day of teaching, apparently.”

“Okay, so he’s a regular customer. What’s your point?” Dread filled the pit of Eren’s stomach. He should have been more careful around Annie; she was too quick-witted to not take notice of the both of them sitting together every single day for the past six months. 

“He stopped coming by this week. The last day he came to the shop was last Friday. Which, Eren, we both know is the last day that you went into the shop as well.”

“What a coincidence.”

“Bullshit. Look, Eren. I honestly don’t give a shit. Fuck a teacher; I couldn’t care less. This isn’t my own personal business but I just wanted to know the answer.”

Eren said nothing and waited for Annie to finish the thought.

“You were involved with Professor Levi, weren’t you?”

Eren cast his eyes down towards the blankets covering his laps as he whispered, “Yeah.”

Annie noticed Eren’s reluctance in his response, but she pushed on anyways.

“And you guys recently broke up, which was why I found you drunk beyond belief at a party last night when I’ve never once seen you set foot into one of the parties.”

“Yeah.”

“You know, Eren. I actually consider you to be a friend, and I don’t exactly have many of those. So I’m going to say this to you as a friend; it’s better that you guys are split up, anyways. So it’s in your best interest to try and forget about whatever you guys had.”

Eren could feel his lip tremble as he responded. “Y-yeah. You’re right. It could never have worked out, anyways.”

“That’s right. You guys would have been figured out eventually. So try not to be too down about it, alright, Eren? I’ll forget you made a pass at me. I know you weren’t in the right state of mind.”

Despite the harsh delivery of much of Annie’s speech, Eren realized that she wasn’t the cruel bitch that a lot of people assumed her to be. She actually did care about him. She was trying to make Eren feel better in her own way. Besides, she had been correct. Other people would have figured it out no matter how hard they tried to fight it. 

Eren and Annie chatted for a while before she left in the early evening. He would never develop feelings for someone like her, but at the moment he was thankful that she was around.

After all, she had helped him to realize that he and Levi were never meant to be.

-x-

Levi had to work considerably hard in order to keep himself from tapping into what he had set aside for Sunday; if he didn’t pace himself he would be out of cocaine before Sunday even started. But for now, he still had enough of a sense of self-restraint to be able to refrain from going too quickly. He still had some measure of control over himself. This was the first time Levi had experienced what it meant to relapse; he had always been too determined and had far too strong of a resolve before now to really even consider doing drugs again. And so he felt like he had total control over the situation; he may have been making a shitty choice, but at least he could hold himself back still. 

He just needed to get through the remainder of the school year. Once it ended, he would never have to touch such a toxic substance again. He wouldn’t have to see Eren at all once summer began. But for now, he needed a crutch to deal with the emotions he was unused to feeling.  
How pathetic of a person he had truly turned out to be.

After every single kill he had executed in order to keep himself alive. After everything, here he was, stuck between his past in the underworld and his newer life in normal society. He no longer believed to either; he had given up his criminal lifestyle but he had failed in his performance as an upstanding citizen. Eren had taught him what it was to feel love; and now that he was gone Levi had also learned what the more painful side of the emotional spectrum felt like. His life’s role as no longer defined; he had lost himself. Lost his concept of who he was. Since when had he ever needed a crutch in his life?

The answer was that he hadn’t.

Anxiety tore away at Levi as thoughts formed in his mind that there was a possibility that he wouldn’t be able to stop himself whenever he wanted. His high had worn off and Levi began to panic slightly over what would happen if Erwin managed to find out what Levi was doing.

He shakily got himself up from the couch and went back into his bedroom, where his next hit was already neatly arranged on the dresser.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't have much to say about this chapter tbh


	14. School Year's Passing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into some of the more important moments that happen before the school year meets its end.

But by mid-April, Levi’s resolve had crumbled to barely anything. For a few weeks he had managed to keep his cocaine usage down to weekends only but that too had changed. The weeks had been passing in agonizing emotional torture that Levi had always been able to so easily ignore for most of his life until one weekday he broke his self-restraint entirely. The man had given him his most knowing look when Levi showed up at his doorstep after a thirty-second phone call. As usual, he asked Levi if he would consider accepting a job here and there and Levi continued to decline; the drugs were all he cared about then. 

He knew his demeanor in front of other people was probably shifting and eventually the ruse would be up; but hopefully he would make it to summer time without any major suspicion rising up against him. That time was all he needed; he could focus on quitting then. Life would be easier when Eren was no longer in front of him damn near every day. It started with one week night and then two, and eventually three and four as the funds he had accumulated over the years dwindled down; he had a fair amount of money but since he was no longer participating in underworld crime, he wouldn’t be able to afford his addiction forever. He always cast away thoughts of his constantly draining bank account with another hit, another time of oblivion to the world around him.

Hanji had called him once since the breakup that seemed a world away in Levi’s eyes; although it had only been a month and a half. It was late on a Friday night and Levi’s current high was wearing off and since it had been a slightly more bearable day than most; he was debating whether or not he was going to go to bed with a conscious mind or keep going until he passed out cold, dead to the world. His phone rang and he answered the phone; he never ignored Hanji’s calls and he definitely wouldn’t start then. Hanji would piece-together evidence for suspicion if he did so.  
“Hello?” 

“Levi! Thank god, you picked up! I wanted to talk to you.”

“About what?” Levi answered, not liking the direction this phone call would most likely take.

“You haven’t showed up here with Eren in over a month, and you guys used to come here for two out of three dates on Fridays. Are you guys doing okay?” Genuine concern was apparent in Hanji’s tone; she just wanted to make sure Levi was okay if they were no longer together.

“We’re…not together anymore.” Levi choked out, drug-induced bliss taken away from him as Hanji sent him straight back to reality.

“Oh, Levi, I’m so sorry. Are you doing alright? I know you cared a lot about him.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. He’s probably struggling more than I am, if anything.” That was a lie. He had seen Eren quite a few times in passing and he was just a typical college student among the masses. Eren had other people that loved him and cared about him who he could open up to; had other people his own age that he could fuck. Levi had people in his own way, too; but he had never opened up to Hanji or Petra or anyone else and couldn’t start now. He refused to start now; he had witnessed where allowing people into his life had gotten him. He was a person who was meant to be alone and he should have accepted that as soon as he saw the last remaining member of his family, the very man who had trained him up to be invincible, die in front of his own eyes. A loving relationship had proved to be disastrous for someone like Levi.

“Well, breakups are hard on anyone. It’s a shame, though, I liked him. Well, anyways, anything else new with you?”

“Not really. Students are a bunch of lazy brats despite paying to attend class every day. How’s the restaurant?”

“Good! People watching is fascinating and since it’s never too overwhelmingly busy I get to do a lot of it.” Hanji continued running her mouth in a detailed run-down of the various “fascinating” customers she had come across lately for a solid fifteen minutes before finally reaching an end. “Well, I’d love to keep chattin’ at you, Levi, but I’m afraid my break is over and I must go now. Keep your chin up, okay?”

“Sure. Bye, Hanji.”

“Oh! One more thing.”

“What?”

“Are you positive you’re doing fine? Because you sound…different, somehow. Not like yourself.”

“Of course I’m fine.” Levi snapped and instantly regretted it; Hanji was just concerned. So he added, “Just tired. It’s been a long week, don’t worry about it.”

“Well, if you’re sure. I’ll let you be now, goodbye, Levi!” Hanji hung up the phone; even if Levi were struggling she knew it was a losing battle trying to help him. She had a feeling things were going to go (If not had already gone) incredibly downhill for Levi after breaking up with the one person he had looked at with a loving expression.

How cruel the world was to make him continuously think of the Saturday that had occurred over a month ago.

And so he went back to his remedy.

-x-

Time was inconsistent in Eren’s mind; it passed both excruciatingly slowly but at the same time passed within the blink of an eye. Days themselves were long and took forever to pass, but as a whole everything went quickly. Eren had decided early on that the best method for getting over Levi was to simply ignore the problem as much as he could. If he didn’t think about Levi, he could be a normal college student. So he surrounded himself with what a college student should; homework and hanging out with friends.

Friday date night was replaced with party night; Eren often got drunk and more often than not their time at the party ended with Eren passed out in Mikasa’s arms. He had never repeated the type of incident that had happened with Annie, but Mikasa had to keep a careful watch over Eren; he was the type of drunk who would scream about his feelings to whoever bothered to listen. He often tried to scream about Levi; about things that would most definitely have Levi fired instantly if word got around. Mikasa tried to coax Eren into drinking at home, instead, as that would be less risky for him, but he stubbornly declined. Every now and then Eren was an emotional drunk, and that was extremely embarrassing. Jean had once found Eren sobbing on the ground in the backyard of a party that was lit only by many tiki torches (how do these people even get that many of those things anyways, Eren often thought upon arrival into those particular backyards) and had brought it up at every gathering since. Marco kicked Jean in the shin every time he brought it up, and if he didn’t shut up Marco often pointed out that he had seen Jean drunk many times and had a plentiful amount of stories he could tell; that shut him up without fail. Though fist fights between Eren and Jean had occurred more than once because of Jean’s comments.

Eren did actually enjoy the time spent with his and Mikasa’s friends, and did have a good time at the parties (as far as he could remember, anyways) but in the back of his mind he knew he would always feel a pang of longing for the Friday night agenda that he used to have. He vaguely wondered how Levi was doing; he hadn’t brought himself to look him directly in the face since the breakup. He had probably already forgotten Eren, a thought that made Eren cringe. At least Eren had distractions to keep him occupied until summer; at which point Armin would be there.

Armin still didn’t know about the fall of Eren and Levi’s relationship. He had always been too busy for Eren to begin that conversation whenever they chatted for a few brief moments over Skype or once in a while over the phone. Similarly to how he hadn’t told Armin about his relationship with Levi until he was physically in front of Eren, he decided not to tell him about their breakup until Armin arrived for the summer. Eren looked forward to the end of the school year; the trio could spend all of their time together which was a beautiful thought but a lot of his contentment was directed at not having to make an effort to avoid Levi every day. 

Only a month left go. And then Eren would be free to move on with his life for good.

-x-

Levi’s apartment hadn't been cleaned in weeks; he was living a pathetic enough of a life for his obsessive cleanliness to no longer matter in his mind. A layer of dust covered everything and dirtied food dishes littered the sink; there were less than there should have been in retrospect, but he barely ate these days. Clothes were thrown haphazardly all over the floor of Levi’s bedroom. Tiny remnants of the fine white powder littered his dresser and a razor blade had fallen onto the ground after Levi had dropped it once and made no effort to pick it up, instead pulling another one from the small box that he kept near the cocaine. His apartment no longer captured the image of a neat and orderly Professor with his mind and goals set straight.

He had neglected removing the framed picture of himself and Eren from its spot on the little table under the clock. He stared at it every now and then as he clung to the last thread of hope he held that Eren may be coming back.

The first time he had come home on a weeknight with drugs held firmly in his hand was the night that he had completely given up hope on Eren. After his first round he had dragged himself back to the living room and the shine of the silver had caught his eye.

He approached it slowly and looked at it for a long time before he raised his fist. Eren would never come back to him. While the effects of his drugs kicked in, he felt almost elated as he threw his fist forward and connected with the frame, met with the sound of shattering glass as he slowly realized that his hand was bleeding. The remains of the frame were lying sideways on the table and Levi picked up the main part of it and threw it across the living room, the sleek silver surface staining with droplets of blood as he gripped the frame in his hand. The crumpled picture fluttered slowly to the floor and was left where it had landed; it would be months before it were remembered and disposed of properly.

Tears were not shed, anger not felt despite the force Levi had used to break the frame. All he felt was his precious, blissful nothingness as he settled down on the couch and clicked on the TV only to stare at it blankly, not registering whatever was happening on the show that appeared.

-x-

The last day of April fell on a Wednesday. Eren attended his morning classes as usual and was heading out to grab a bite for lunch before returning to campus for his afternoon class. He decided to eat at a Wendy’s that was a bit of a hike from campus; he had plenty of time to kill between his second morning and his afternoon class. As he slowly walked in the general direction of the Wendy’s he tore his gaze away from his feet to look around for a bit; his feet were boring to look at. He glanced over to the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street to see somebody walking the other way; back towards campus. Eren studied the figure and at first didn’t know who it was. The man had his tired-looking eyes focused straight ahead of him; he looked almost…anxious? As if he were impatiently waiting for something bad to happen that he was already anticipating. The formal attire adorning his body did not match the almost haunting look on the man’s face.

As the man looked up and turned his head towards Eren for a split second, Eren’s eyes widened. He allowed shock to shoot through him before he began to feel like an idiot. The hair was the same, the clothing the same, everything about him was everything he had fallen in love with for six months. Eren tore his gaze away from Levi as soon as he knew Levi had registered that the person staring at him was Eren and his mind began racing despite his best efforts to put Levi out of his mind.

This was the first good look he had gotten of Levi in a couple of months; he had expected when his eyes met Levi’s again one day that he would have the same disinterested expression that he had possessed when they first met. He had never expected to feel haunted by the figure returning from wherever he had come from. He convinced himself he had been imagining the deadness in Levi’s eyes; it was his mind attempting to portray Levi as someone who was broken without Eren. That expression was a figment of Eren’s imagination and that was that.

He took his time finishing his hike to Wendy’s and ate alone in the pretty much empty building (His lunch break was after the lunch of the older working crowd and was far enough to keep most college students from making the effort to eat there) before beginning back to campus. As the day progressed and he went home for the day, Eren pushed the sight of Levi out of his mind. 

-x-

The last day of April had been the day that Levi had made the decision to include a new drug in his life. Levi had always found himself with a disdainful attitude towards heroin; collapsing veins and physical evidence written on one’s body had always turned Levi away from the drug. But he had heard countless times in the underworld about how effective it was in drowning out the world; scarily so, according to many. May as well try it and see if everyone else had been correct. During his lunch break Levi had made his way to the old drug dealer’s house on foot; he never drove anywhere during school hours. He had once again mastered the knock that told the old man that it was Levi at the door and the door opened up allowing him access only a second after he finished the rhythmic motion. 

“I’ve already prepared your request. Expanding your horizons, I see. I’m impressed; you’ve managed to go back on almost every promise you’ve claimed to make to yourself since we’ve resumed our business with each other. All but one, of course.”

“And once again I decline your request.”

“Now, Levi, before you say that, I’d like to converse with you about that while we make our way through the house.”

“I’m not going to do any jobs for you.”

“Oh, hear me out already. Now, I’ve been doing my research on you and you’re simply a college professor now that you’re out into society.”  
Levi said nothing but didn’t speak against it as the man went on.

“I know you’ve managed to hold a fair chunk of change in your account since melding into the clutches of goddamned society. However, I can’t help but wonder, does your current life have the ability to support the life you’re allowing yourself to live right now? Your little habit is becoming quite expensive.”

Levi’s heart skipped a beat as one of his current top-ranked fears was addressed. He had avoided looking into his bank account for fear of the number he would find. Before he had left campus he had checked the balance on his laptop; it was nowhere near as high as he had hoped. Had he really managed to spend that much in such a short amount of time? Yes, he had. And now his resources for purchasing the substance that both kept him sane and simultaneously made him insane were alarmingly low. His funds wouldn’t hold out for much longer; it was very likely they wouldn’t last the remainder of the school year.

The man continued his speech. “I can provide you with the perfect opportunities to not only make money but to provide you with every drug your pathetic heart could desire. I’ll keep them short and simple; it won’t even get in the way of your little upstanding citizen lifestyle. One day jobs that can easily be done on the weekends. I know you, Levi. You have nothing left to lose. You’re only a broken, empty shell of the perfect, invincible criminal I once knew.”

Nothing that came out of the old man’s mouth was wrong. Having one foot in both worlds was becoming increasingly difficult for Levi. And the old man had been correct; he had nothing left to lose. Nothing stood in the way of accepting his offer.

He was faced with a choice. He could walk out right then and there and keep up the façade of a man who had his life together and work on leaving drugs behind one again. Or he could accept the man’s offer and continue sinking further into his dependence on drugs while returning to his old ways almost entirely. One option put his life in danger every moment of his life; just like how it had been for so many years. One option was a positive choice that would allow him to keep building his life up to be something more than a meaningless existence, as he had been for the past several years. In the end, the choice was between dealing with his pain or ignoring it.

The old man was watching Levi carefully. “I can see you weighing your options. I have one particular job that would be perfect for you; a short little run that needs to be done not this weekend but next weekend. That gives you over a week’s time to prepare yourself for your introduction back.” As he continued speaking at Levi, he rummaged around a drawer in a dresser in the far corner of the room. He pulled out a black pistol similar to the one Levi kept in his nightstand, but newer and admittedly nicer looking. The old man knew Levi had always preferred pistols over any other gun.

“If you take this gun, Levi, I’ll give you the directions for your job for next weekend. If you take your drugs and leave, I’ll know that you’re no longer interested and leave you with your own methods of affording your little habit. You may take as long as you need to make that choice; I have nowhere that I need to be anytime soon.”

Levi stared at the gun for a good five minutes before his decision was made.

He reached out his arm and grabbed the pistol from the old man’s outstretched arms.

-x-

On Saturday night, Eren was hanging out in his small living room with Mikasa, Jean, Marco, Sasha, Connie, and Annie. Most of them were seated on the floor; only three could fit comfortably on the couch and nobody felt like grabbing chairs from the kitchen table. Eren sat in between Mikasa and Annie as everyone passed around a bowl of chips and chatted about the more trivial aspects of life. They had considered going to a movie before deciding that for one, the movies were way too overpriced for college freshman such as themselves. That, and there were no good movies playing in the first place; Sasha and Connie had checked on their phones for the list of currently available movies. For lack of anything better to do, they reached the conclusion that sitting around was a decent alternative. 

None of them were drinking as half of them were already hung over from last night’s party, Eren included. They talked about the incoming exams that we approaching too quickly for anyone’s tastes; the only ones who had actually made an effort to begin studying for them were Mikasa, Annie, and Marco. The other four in the room decided they were most likely screwed, but Eren made a note to himself to at least attempt to get a fair bit of studying done before exams rolled around officially. 

Several other topics came and went before Sasha thoughtfully started a topic that caught Eren’s attention.

“So, has anyone else noticed that that one biology professor has been acting…off?” She grabbed a handful of chips and ate them rapidly as soon as the question had escaped her mouth. 

Jean was the first to speak up. “Yeah, I noticed, too. It’s like he’s both more and less of an asshole at the same time. It’s weird.”

Marco spoke up. “I’ve been hearing rumors that he’s a druggie. Like, some of the students are saying he’s acting like someone who does drugs.”

“Professor Levi, though? He never seemed like the type.” Connie chimed in.

“Like I said, it’s just been going around.”

“Yeah, lately some days he seems farther away than he usually is.”

“Maybe he had a wife that left him for being an asshole.” Jean added in.

“Hey, calm down, Jean. If Marco left you, you’d be a wreck, too.”

“Too bad that nobody knows anything about him, so there’s no way to even find out for sure.”

Eren said nothing but panic was evident on his face as Mikasa cast a worried glance at him; Annie also worriedly looked to Eren so see his reaction to the conversation. The others kept talking about the vague but common rumors about Levi.

Eren had been so preoccupied with avoiding Levi that he had never stopped to consider anything like that. It seemed to be the general consensus that Levi was likely to be doing drugs and nobody had a clue as to why, since he was such a private and closed-off person.

Panic flooded through Eren as his mind took off, flashing past all of the possibilities. It took every ounce of restraint he had to not go to Levi’s apartment right then and there and find out for himself what exactly was going on. 

But it was none of his business.

But he needed to know. He needed to find out what had happened to Levi after their breakup because in his own self-absorbed coping he hadn’t even stopped to consider that Levi might not have picked himself right back up off the ground. But how could that be true when Levi was an intelligent, careful man. But Eren remembered that he was also a ruthless monster who had taken countless lives.

Maybe that was how he was spending his days now; taking the lives of whoever stood in his path. Maybe someone else would pull the trigger on him before he could pull the trigger on them.

Eren tried to tell himself that it would serve Levi right.

But no matter what he thought, he knew he needed to see Levi himself. There was no doubt in his mind that it would eat away at him until he found out. He was determined to continue his hatred for Levi no matter what sight was waiting for him. He would leave as soon as the others left; it was already eleven o’ clock at night and he hoped they would make their way out soon. The decision he was making to see Levi was rash and completely spur of the moment, but he would just go with it.

It wasn’t until after one o’ clock that everyone finally said their goodbyes and left Eren and Mikasa alone in their apartment. 

“Eren, are you okay?” Mikasa asked as soon as the door was closed behind the others. 

“I’m going to see him.”

“That’s not a good idea. Are you going to be able to handle whatever it is you’re faced with?”

“I don’t know; all I know is that I need to do this.”

There was no stopping Eren; Mikasa could feel the determination rolling off of him in waves.

“Be careful.” She said through pursed lips, watching him hastily grab his car keys and practically run out the door.

-x-

Eren drove to Levi’s apartment as fast as he could pull off without getting stopped by cops that were waiting for the bar-crowd to appear so that they could make their drunk-driving arrests for the night. It felt like he was suffocating as he rode in the elevator up to Levi’s floor and hastened towards the painfully familiar door that marked Levi’s apartment. He attempted to glance at the watch that was no longer on his wrist to see what time it was and with a small sigh pulled out his phone instead. About one-thirty. Levi had always gone to sleep late; he should still be up.

Eren braced himself the best that he could as he knocked at the door. No answer. He waited for a moment before knocking again, this time much more forcefully. Maybe he had fallen asleep on the couch. Once again, no answer. He knew that Levi was home; Eren had checked to make sure the black Porsche was in its usual parking space before entering the building. Eren gave one more loud knock and was about to give up when he heard the door open. 

A small black pistol was pointed directly at his face.

Eren screamed as he stared into Levi’s eyes; they looked as if they belonged to a dead man. Levi seemed far away, as if he were not in tune with reality at that time. Dried blood made a trail down Levi’s nose and onto his lip (An effect of the cocaine he had tapped into before the first hit of heroin). His hair was messier than Eren had ever seen it and he had only one sleeve on his button-down shirt rolled up; Eren saw several small marks on his arm where a needle had been stuck into his veins. The hand that held the gun was shaking slightly and Levi appeared to be having a difficult time focusing on Eren.

Levi’s mind eventually registered that the person in front of him was Eren; not other unfinished business coming to try and claim his life. His mind was still hazy from the intake of drugs from the night; he had been passed out cold and it was surprising that Eren’s knocking had even managed to get him out of his comatose state. He lowered the gun slowly and stared in disbelief at Eren; perhaps he was dreaming or even hallucinating. Eren wouldn’t come to see him for whatever reason. He took a slow, unsteady step towards Eren.

The man before Eren was not Levi. This was a person who needed to be pitied; a pathetic shell of a human who had no purpose in life. Once Eren’s mind processed the sight and noticed that Levi was walking towards him, Eren screamed and let instinct take over as he bolted across the hall and practically stabbed the button that would call the elevator to him. Just like the Saturday of the breakup, Eren had backed away from Levi.

The image of Levi pointing a gun at Eren’s head in his drugged stupor would haunt Eren’s memory for the remainder of the school year; the Levi he had seen at one-thirty on a Saturday night was a creature of nightmares. Not even a monster. Just a hideous creature that walked only in the shadows, avoiding other human life at all costs. 

-x-

Once Eren fled Levi dropped to his knees in the doorway to his apartment; Eren had seen what he had become. Eren had ended up coming for him in the end, and Levi had once again left destruction in his wake. He threw the gun across the room and went straight to the bathroom where he grabbed the syringe he had been using and soon swam through the void that was his high.

He woke up the next morning lying on the bathroom floor, syringe by his side. 

-x-

The rest of the school year passed by. Levi had been on two jobs since accepting the job offered to him by the old man. Eren had nightmares often and most of them revolved around Levi. He passed his exams with average marks, just as he had expected. He continued going to parties on Friday nights. Levi continued spending his nights alone in his apartment with only drugs for company; on weekends he filled his time with the work he hadn’t done in years.

Armin would arrive in a few days to spend the whole summer with Eren and Mikasa.

The school year was officially over. Eren and Levi wouldn’t have to be faced with the sight of each other every day, no matter how brief. Eren felt like he could actually breathe for the first time in months.

And so began summer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of summertime marks the next significant event of the story that is coming up.  
> Also I totally got to make references to two of my favorite songs with this chapter.  
> Other than that, I have nothing to say.


	15. Rock Bottom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rock bottom is hit.  
> Song suggestion for this chapter is So Cold (Acoustic ver.) by Breaking Benjamin.

Armin’s arrival was full of tears and excitement as the trio made their way out of the airport and into the car to go out to eat and then help get Armin settled in for his three-month visit. They all decided on Olive Garden; they had gone there together often back when they were still in high school. Armin had trimmed his hair but had kept it long enough to keep it swept up in a ponytail; that seemed to be a permanent part of Armin’s appearance now. Eren ate half of the breadsticks himself and showed no intentions of stopping himself from eating them until Mikasa glared at him and said, “That’s enough. Don’t you want to have some room for dinner?” Just like a mother would say, Eren and Armin both thought. Regardless, Eren did manage to put down the breadsticks for a while. All three of them ordered the same pasta dish; it was tradition to order the same thing as each other every time.

Armin noticed that Eren covered every topic that any of them could possibly think of except for the one Armin had anticipated would be discussed the most; Levi. It was most likely best to wait until they were home to ask about him; if they were still together Eren would have mentioned him by now. And so their dinner was light-hearted and all three of them were perfectly blissful on the drive home. Once home, Eren dragged Armin’s suitcase into his room and provided him with half of his closet and dresser space to keep his clothes. They unpacked the suitcase together and then joined Mikasa in the living room to cram together on the couch and chat over the sound of the television. They talked about memories they all had from childhood together and the room was full of laughter for a long time as they recollected their fun times of the past. As the night grew old Eren became increasingly tense, waiting for Armin to bring Levi into the conversation. Around two thirty in the morning, and he did.

“So, Eren. Mind if I ask you a question?”

“We broke up.” Eren could almost taste the bitterness on his tongue as he answered Armin’s question before he had the chance to ask it.

“Are you willing to tell me about it?” Armin asked cautiously; he didn’t want to pry, especially if the breakup had been bad. He had no idea about the hell that had happened afterwards. 

Eren took a deep, slightly shaky breath before telling Armin the whole story starting with the breakup and why it had happened. Mikasa had already heard everything that Eren had to say, since she had always been his shoulder to cry on when he was breaking down over the breakup and later when he had broken down after going to Levi’s apartment to check on him. Eren didn’t cry at all while explaining the past few months to Armin, but it was still noticeably a sore spot for him. He learned into Armin as he spoke and lay his head to rest on Armin’s shoulder. The connection to Armin was soothing. Armin stroked Eren’s hair gently as he reached the end of his story; that would be far more comforting than any words Armin could provide right then. He was ridiculously intelligent but he had never focused his attention on love and lacked the experience to aid Eren.

Eren eventually fell asleep cuddled between Armin and Mikasa and for the first time in years they spent the night huddled all together on the couch that was just barely large enough to accommodate the three off of them. Eren didn’t battle with any nightmares that night and for once managed to get a full night of peaceful slumber. 

The next morning the trio teamed up to make breakfast and enjoyed pancakes, bacon, eggs, and toast together at the kitchen table. It was a Saturday morning and they had no plans for the day; their time was to be spent at their leisure. Around one o’ clock in the afternoon they took a lazy walk through the park that Eren and Levi had gone to so long ago. The weather was perfect; mid-seventies and not a single cloud in sight. A light breeze stirred every now and then and gently rusted the leaves of the trees surrounding the trio as they made their way through several of the nature trails in the park. Armin asked Eren if he had decided what direction he was considering for his career path; Eren just kind of stared at him for a moment when he did so. He hadn’t given it a single thought throughout the school year; he told himself that was something he’d definitely have to think about later. Armin had just laughed when Eren couldn’t formulate a response to that; typical Eren.

During the walk home (It was a fairly long walk home but they had nothing better to do so they hadn’t just driven there) Eren couldn’t help but glance worriedly into every abandoned alleyway that they passed; Eren remembered that Levi had said that when he was fully immerse in underworld crime that he often sat alone in alleyways with only his gun and his drugs at his side. He was paranoid that one day he would be walking and find Levi in one of those alleyways.

“…Eren?” Mikasa was watching him as he was snapped out of his reverie. 

“Hm?”

“I asked if ramen noodles were fine for supper tonight.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Mikasa and Armin exchanged a knowing glance at Eren’s obvious distraction from the conversation. They continued on and made the ramen as soon as they were home. After supper they decided to go bowling; it was something to do and the bowling alley closest to campus was pretty cheap since mostly college kids went there. They had nothing better to do and wanted to at least have a few eventful days of summer with Armin before they began lazily spending their days at home, finding the motivation to just get out of bed and get dressed. It was eight o’ clock and the sun was setting when they made their entrance at the bowling alley and paid for a couple games. Eren and Armin just shared a bowling ball; they had always used the same weight, anyways. Mikasa always went a couple pounds above them with her choice in bowling ball; which was slightly irritating in a way.

Mikasa won both games; Eren and Armin glared at her from their table as she rolled her fifth strike of that game. A couple of assholes (who appeared to be drunk) began cat-calling Mikasa on their way out of the bowling alley and Eren had to be held back by both Armin and Mikasa; he was about to go after the two guys and fight them. The odds would have been stacked heavily against him, but he refused to let anyone regard Mikasa that way. Eren fumed the rest of the way home, ranting about the cat-callers. Eren’s lengthy rant was interrupted by the distant yet defined sound of a gunshot being fired from somewhere. The sound was faint enough to indicate that it was far away but the trio naturally increased their pace. 

Eren’s first thought when he heard the noise was Levi.

What if it were him? 

-x-

Eren took to taking walks by himself daily under the guise of he wanted a bit of peaceful alone time to get some fresh air; in reality he had formed the habit of checking alleyways. He knew the odds of finding Levi were slim to none; but it brought him peace of mind to scour them anyways. The walks were nice but his thoughts often led back to when he had gone to see Levi late at night on a Saturday to find a dead-man walking in place of Levi. Eren had wanted Levi to have to face the implications of his previous life but he had never wanted to find Levi completely broken and as an empty shell of his former self. That had been too much to bear and Eren wanted to cry just thinking about how pitiful and heartbreaking the sight had been. 

It was a week and a half into June and Eren had not seen Levi’s face a single time; just like he had wanted.

The most disturbing thought that entered Eren’s mind during his walks was that if Levi died, whether it be by drugs or by the hand of another person, Eren probably wouldn’t know. Underworld affairs were kept separate from normal news and those involved received no recognition in public media. 

Night was fast approaching and Eren began his walk home as usual, hoping Mikasa would have supper ready when he got there.

-x-

Levi hadn’t even tried to convince himself to stop doing drugs when the summer started. Who was he kidding? Pointless. Stopping was pointless; he had forgotten long ago how to function as a normal person clean of drugs. Had he really been clean for years up until the past couple months? He couldn’t even remember. He didn’t try to. He didn’t really care.

He had no difficulty regaining his previous skill in the world of crime; his gun fit perfectly in between his fingers and his sense of strategy had returned to him almost immediately. He was far more dependent on drugs than he had been before, which would likely cause issue somewhere down the line, but for now all was well. The old man had given him easy jobs to begin with but Levi was soon given jobs of the same intensity as he had before. Crime and drugs were what he knew; what he was familiar and comfortable with. The underworld was cruel and spared nobody. It was every man for himself, other than the two remaining well-known groups. But even they had dwindled down and the game was much more individual than it had been in the past.

Levi sat behind an old, forgotten building with a cigarette hanging carelessly from his mouth as he replenished the stock of bullets in his pistol. He let the ashes fall to the ground as he finished his work with his gun. Once done, he took the cigarette from his mouth and smothered it with his foot to put it out. He scanned over his haul from the job he had just completed; it had required a single shot from his gun which was slightly regrettable since he had been in the middle of town and citizens had probably heard it, but his stock was fully replenished and he was receiving a fair chunk of change from the old man in exchange for the other man’s downfall. It would have been best for him to wait until he was back in the safety of his own apartment before he tapped into the various assortments of substances lying before him. But he was no longer in possession of his disciplined self-control.

He slumped back against the building as the sky turned dark, still feeling the needle’s prick lingering on his arm as the heroin did its job.

-x-

On the second weekend in June, Eren and Mikasa invited everyone over so that they could meet Armin; half of them had been asking to meet him anyways. So on Saturday night, everyone gathered around the blonde boy, asking him all kinds of questions at the same time.

“So you’re their childhood friend?”

“You go to a really nice college? What’s it like being so smart?”

“Hey, Eren and Mikasa, he’s pretty cute. Was he always this adorable?”

“Why is your hair in a ponytail?” Jean’s voice was distinct among the others.

“Do you ever drink?”

“Why do you hang around these two idiots?”

Armin had tried answering every question but it was difficult to keep up with a bunch of people talking at once. “Yeah, I’ve known them for as long as I can remember, yes my college is incredibly nice, and my hair is in a ponytail for convenience, and I don’t drink ever.” 

“Too bad for that; we brought booze.” Sasha and Connie pulled out a couple bottles of vodka along with some sodas from the bag they had carried in with them that nobody had noticed before. Eren and Mikasa both immediately sprung up and grabbed cups from the kitchen and everyone began passing the cups and booze around until everyone but Armin had a drink in hand (They did give him a cup of just mountain dew, though). They raised their cups to finally meeting the boy they had heard so much about and all took a long drink from their cups. As everyone’s cups were emptied and refilled a couple of days, Eren slumped up against Armin and closed his eyes. He was tired; as soon as he had gotten comfortable he heard the others simultaneously say, “Ooooooooh.” As Armin instinctually wrapped his arms against Eren.

“Are you two dating?” Sasha asked immediately.

The others followed suit.

“Eren, why didn’t you tell us? We could have made jokes about you and Armin like we make about Jean and Marco.”

“Hey, shut up.” Jean added.

“I think you guys are cute together!” 

“We-”

“How long have you guys been going out?

“We’re not-”

“I never thought you’d find love, Yeager!”

“How did you get so lucky?”

Irritation coursed through Eren and he had to shout in order to be heard over everyone else. “We’re not together!” 

“Woah there.”

“What would be wrong with dating Armin?”

“That sounded harsh, Eren.” 

Armin tentatively entered the conversation. “We’re really not together, though! He’s just my best friend and always will be. Right, Eren?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s too bad. Eren could use someone to take his temper down.”

“Yeah, we thought for a while there that he was done being angry at everything, but then he proved us wrong.”

The conversation eventually moved on until some people fell asleep and others left. Eren woke up the next morning lying beside Armin on the living room floor; Mikasa was spread out on the couch. Everyone else had made their exits at varying times throughout the night. Eren got up and grabbed a banana on his way out of the door; he left a note telling the other two that he was going on a walk and had no clue when he’d be back.

-x-

Eren wandered through mazes of barely-populated streets and alleyways, heading nowhere in particular. He felt slightly unsafe in these areas of town; anyone could be in a shadow with a loaded gun at the ready. Eren pushed the foreboding thoughts from his mind and continue to enjoy the silence in the air as he made his way through the unfamiliar streets. He was torn between going back home and continuing on his walk.

Fate played its hand and convinced Eren to extend his route a little bit farther.

-x-

Levi was aware that he was pushing the limit too far when it was too late; the heroin was already spreading through Levi like wildfire. This was it; he could feel it. This would be the hit that killed him. He had truly hit rock bottom; his reliance on drugs had become too much. He couldn’t even finish his own jobs without getting fucked up in the process. He accepted his fate and allowed himself to be dragged into the crushing unconsciousness that was awaiting him. His last thought before blacking out was, “I love you, Eren.”

-x-

Eren turned into a shadowy alleyway that looked like it hadn’t been visited by another human in years. Eren was reflecting on the previous night’s events when a shadow that didn’t match the pattern reached his eyes. As Eren got closer, he realized that the motionless heap he had seen from far away was actually a person.

Fear struck Eren straight through the heart before he even realized what exactly was happening.

He ran towards the body; they were facing away from him while lying motionless on the gravel. A syringe lay beside them; a grotesque parody of two lovers dying side by side. Tears streamed down Eren’s cheeks as he turned the body over and found himself staring at Levi’s face. His breathing was slow; too slow. Was he even breathing? Eren couldn’t even tell even when he attempted to feel for a pulse. 

This was just another nightmare. Wasn’t it? It had to be. Levi couldn’t be dying (dead?) in front of Eren. Sobbing, Eren gathered the small body into his arms; he was incredibly frail. Eren rocked back and forth miserably as he reached into his pocket and desperately fished out his phone. For the first time in his life, Eren dialed 9-1-1. He described the location the best that he could and prayed that they would arrive in time. He could do nothing to aid Levi; he had no clue how to save a life. He stroked Levi’s dirty, matted hair in an effort to keep himself from going into hysterics while waiting for the ambulance to arrive. Levi had been wearing a black t-shirt and Eren could see through tear-blurred eyes a bunch of marks where he had inserted the needle into himself and that just sent him further into agony.

Levi. His Levi. The man who had taken him on so many dates. The man who cuddled with him at night, the man who had been willing to love him. He had fallen in love with a man who was perfect to Eren in every way; strong-willed and an amazing, complex person. But what lay in his arms wasn’t Levi at all.

But it was. No matter how damaged he was, this was still his Levi. The man he had never truly stopped loving despite everything that had happened. Eren wished more than anything that he could turn back time and go back to before their breakup. Back to the way they were; two souls that seemed to be made just for each other. 

The ambulance announced its arrival with shrieking sirens and flashing lights. Medics came rushing to Eren and Levi’s side and had to forcefully pry Eren away from Levi. He screamed at them; he couldn’t bear to be separated from Levi again. Once Levi had been successfully placed in the ambulance they allowed Eren to sit in there with him on the way to the hospital. Eren clung to Levi’s hand the whole ride, sobs shaking his entire body and tears streaming down his face as he choked out, “Is he going to live?” One of the medics looked at him with sorrow in her eyes. 

“There’s no way to tell for sure until he have him up to the hospital and have him detoxified.”

Eren could do nothing but hold onto the hand of the man he had fallen in love with, begging any god that may have been out there to let Levi live to see another day.

A world without Levi was a world Eren couldn’t bear to live in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, on the bright side, this marks the beginning of the turning point.


	16. Turning Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is in the hospital after a heroin overdose.

Once at the hospital, Eren was forced to sit in the waiting room as Levi was whisked away into emergency care. The image of Levi shaking and drool trailing over his slightly parted mouth was imprinted into Eren’s mind and it was all he could think about as he sat in a cushioned waiting room chair for what could only have been an eternity. Eren had tried to collect his composure enough to call Mikasa and let him know what was going on, but, “Levi. Hospital. Staying.” Were the only roughly understandable bits of his speech. Mikasa had asked if Eren wanted Armin and herself with him, but he said no, this was something he needed to be alone for. 

A nurse still hadn’t come to tell him whether or not Levi was going to actually live. Eren had heard that heroin overdose wasn’t fatal all that often, but Eren got the feeling that Levi had been doing more than enough to be able to take his life. Eren tried to tell himself that Levi would be okay but he couldn’t shake the panic away.

Finally, much to Eren’s relief a nurse arrived and looked to Eren. “You’re here for the black-haired man with the heroin overdose, right?” They must have had trouble finding Levi’s records; it was doubtful he had ever been admitted to a hospital before. Eren nodded and the nurse looked relieve that there was at least somebody there to support the poor man; most people would have had a whole support system to family waiting for word on their condition. 

“It’s not going to be pretty, and he’s in a lot of pain, but he’s going to be waking up soon and we do allow family members to be there for them when their condition is stable and we know that he’ll live; which we do. That being said, do you want to be there when he wakes up?”

Nothing could be worse than what Eren had seen since finding Levi in that alleyway. And so he said, “Yes” without hesitation.

The nurse nodded and explained the situation a bit before setting off towards Levi’s room.

“We’ve administered him a opioid antagonist that we call “Naxalone” that is meant to block the effects of the opioid in a way that doesn’t allow him to build up tolerance to the antagonist. You may not understand really any of that, but what’s important is that it’s effective and he will be fine. We can discuss his options post-ER when he’s recovered.” She explained before motioning for Eren to follow her, and after the passing of many identical doors the nurse stopped in front of one. She opened the door and allowed Eren to step inside. 

Levi was hooked up to various machines and was adorned with a white hospital gown. They had him lying half-upright; his eyes were still closed and he was still shaking profusely and drenched with sweat. Eren stood there, frozen to his spot and unable to look away as Levi’s eyes opened at first slowly and then snapped wide open. Confusion was written all over his face as his eyes darted wildly back and forth throughout the room; he had no clue where he was or what was going on. The doctor had been able to stabilize his breathing for the most part but he was still struggling taking consistent breaths. His eyes had been open for only a couple seconds before Eren saw him heave and violently vomit into a container that the nurse had placed in front of his mouth just in time. Levi partway missed the container and the nurse was left to clean vomit off of Levi himself.

Levi hadn’t noticed Eren standing a few feet away and was wildly screaming at the nurse that the pain was too much. It was all he could feel. He had never met with a more excruciating pain in his life. He still had no idea what was going on; all he knew was that pain was everywhere and he wanted it to end. Levi had known his share of pain in his life but this was a whole new level that was foreign to Levi. 

Eventually, Levi stopped thrashing about and lay there silently except for a few low pained groans now and then. He slowly came to his senses and realized the situation he was in. When he got a look at Eren’s tear-streaked face, Levi knew that Eren had been the one to save him. He was too preoccupied with his sickened state to say anything to Eren. Eren asked the nurse if there was any way they could help relieve Levi’s pain any more than they already had; the nurse shook her head and said they had administered as much to ease the pain as they could get away with. Levi spent a majority of the day curled in the fetal position shifting between consciousness and unconsciousness. 

Eren didn’t leave Levi’s side through the whole day. He sat in a chair that was set against the wall and watched Levi. Eren preferred when Levi was sleeping; the pain was more tolerable for Levi if he wasn’t conscious enough to feel it. Mikasa texted Eren a couple of times to ask how Levi’s condition and once evening hit she asked if he planned on staying the night; he did. The nurse had been in the room the whole time up to around nine o’ clock that night when she determined it was safe for Levi to be left alone for a little while. Levi had vomited up everything that he had to throw up; the nurse had been trying to get Levi to choke down a few bites of food but that didn’t work well. 

The nurse provided Eren with a small device with a button that Eren should press if anything happened before her return; she said she’d be back in about a half-hour. Levi was currently asleep when the nurse left, leaving Eren and Levi to be the only two in the sterile room. Eren got up and stretched; he had been sitting in the same position for hours on end. He approached where Levi was sleeping (he still hadn’t stopped sweating) and gingerly took one of Levi’s hands into his. He stood there just like that, holding Levi’s frail hand in both of his own. Levi was in intense pain but he was going to be alright and that was all that mattered. 

Levi stirred while Eren was still holding his hand and gazed at Eren’s face until Eren noticed that Levi was awake. Levi just muttered, “It hurts, Eren.” and avoided meeting Eren’s eyes. Eren could feel his heart once again break as he heard the agony in Levi’s voice. Eren gently squeezed Levi and simply said, “I know.” as Levi once again let his eyes fall shut.

Upon hearing the nurse’s return, Eren placed Levi’s hand back down to rest on the bed and returned to his chair by the wall. The nurse smiled at him as she came back and said she was glad there had been no issues when she was gone. 

“You really care about him, don’t you?”

“…Yeah.” Eren replied.

“Well, his road isn’t going to be easy; he has some major drug dependence and that’s never easy to fix. But I get the feeling if you’re around that he’ll be able to pick himself back up.”

Eren really hoped that she was right. When Levi was himself again, they would have to have a long talk that Eren wasn’t particularly looking forward to. But for now, all he could do was sit in Levi’s room and wait for him to recover.

The days passed slowly in the waiting room until about three days later, Levi’s doctor approached Eren and asked to speak with him. They left together and the doctor stood and faced Eren in the hall. “Levi is going to definitely need to stay in a rehabilitation center and undergo a program to keep him from doing drugs ever again. He has far too heavy of a dependence on them for us to just release him and ask him nicely not to do it again. Since you’re the only person here who seems to care about Levi, I’d like to talk to you about our options.”

The doctor went on and explained the different treatment plans and in the end they agreed on a 90 day course in a center about a half-hour drive from where they were. They chose a close center so that Eren would be able to visit Levi with ease. Eren assumed that Levi would fight going to treatment but when they had told him about it later that afternoon, Levi just looked up with a face full of remorse and sorrow as he agreed to go. The next day he would be released and driven straight to the center.

The doctor also had a request for Eren; Levi was going to need a suitcase packed with clothes and other necessities for when he went to the treatment center. Eren was the only candidate and so once back in Levi’s room they had announced that Eren would be going to Levi’s apartment and gathering his suitcase for him. Eren thought he saw panic pass over Levi’s face but waved it off as he grabbed the keys from their position on the room’s counter (they had emptied Levi’s pockets when he had arrived) and said he would be back as soon as he could be.

Eren had to have Mikasa pick him up, since he had arrived at the hospital in the ambulance and hadn’t left a single time. As Mikasa drove to Eren’s directions, he explained the events of the past few days starting at his fateful walk on Sunday morning up until when he had been waiting for her to come get him. Mikasa asked Eren was his stance on Levi currently was; Eren realized he didn’t know. He wanted nothing more than to stay by Levi’s side, but would Levi even accept it? In the end Eren just told Mikasa that they’d have to see how everything played out. 

Mikasa parked and waited in the car for Eren to go up and pack Levi’s things for him. He rode the elevator and found himself in front of the door that held so many memories that were both positive and negative and using a key for the first time, let himself inside. The physical manifestation of Levi’s downfall was just as evident in the state of his apartment as it had been in his physical self. It was filthy; the exact opposite of what it had been last time Eren had set foot inside. He slowly made his way through the kitchen and then the living room, eyes catching on a pile of glass sitting on the floor. As Eren got closer he discovered that it was the glass from the picture frame that Eren had given to Levi; the frame itself was on the floor across the room and Eren could tell that it had been thrown there. The picture itself was crumpled up and lay beside the broken frame. 

Eren took a deep breath to keep composure as he traveled into the bedroom. Syringes and razor blades were splayed haphazardly across his dresser and many objects had strayed to the floor in front of it as well. Tiny bits of white powder were spread throughout the dresser’s surface. Levi’s clothes were everywhere and he was unable to gather up enough clean clothes to pack for Levi. 

After a call to the hospital and a text to Mikasa that she could leave because he’d be there for a while, he gathered up a decent amount of the accumulated clothes and threw them in a laundry basket and went to the lowest floor of the building; he knew there was a set of washers and dryers for the residents to use. He began tossing them in the washing machine and found dried blood stains on the sleeves of Levi’s shirts where he had wiped the blood away from his nose on multiple occasions. As he waited for the machine to run its course he returned to the upstairs and began tidying the place in an attempt to restore some of its former glory. He carefully swept up all of the glass shards and threw away the frame and after a moment’s hesitation, the picture as well. It was crumpled and torn beyond recognition, anyways.

His next target was Levi’s dresser; he put all of the razor blades back into their box and tossed it in the garbage along with the syringes. He thoroughly wiped off the dresser’s surface to remove the remnants of the drugs. He washed the pile of dishes scattering the kitchen sink and counter and dried them off himself, returning them to their respective cabinets. By the time he accomplished all of that, he went to check on the laundry and switch the clothes from the washer to the dryer.

Cleaning up the apartment felt significant to Eren; it was as if it signified a new beginning. A beginning where Levi would be okay, even if that didn’t include Eren. He hoped that Levi’s near-death experience had shown him his own mortality; he could no longer believe he was invincible as long as he held his black pistol in his hand. His life could be taken as easily as he had taken the lives of others. 

When the clothes were dry, Eren was able to pack up Levi’s suitcase for him. He texted Mikasa that he was ready to go back and dragged the suitcase up to Levi’s room with him. He found Levi awake and he was looking far better than he had in days. He had faced many withdrawal symptoms over the past few days but his body was finally remembering how to function without heroin constantly running through it. He looked like a member of the living, at least.  
The doctor thanked Eren for fetching Levi’s things before leaving to check on another one of his patients. The nurse was on break, so it was only the two of them.

At this point, Levi was fully capable of coherent thought and the pain was starting to lesson enough for him to stay conscious for several hours at a time. Awkward silence filled the room as neither Eren nor Levi could formulate words to begin a conversation. Finally, Levi spoke up when they were left alone as a nurse went on break.

“You don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to. I’ll be released tomorrow to go get treatment, so I’m fine. It’s pointless for you to keep yourself in a room with the person you hate. No one is stopping you from leaving.” 

“I’m not leaving you.”

“You had no problems leaving me breaking down on the floor, as I recall.” Levi hissed, venom dripping from every word. He couldn’t help himself; the words just flew out of his mouth.

It felt like someone had just punched Eren in the stomach.

“Levi, I…I…” Tears welled up in Eren’s eyes; he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t think of a single thing to say that could possibly make up for the living hell life had obviously been for Levi since the breakup.

“I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.” Levi muttered, looking away. “You’re the one who saved my life despite everything that happened.”

“I’ve tried so hard to stop thinking about you all the time. I tried to stay the fuck away from you and I tried to hate you with every fiber of my being. And I was doing fine up until the point that I heard everyone else saying you were probably doing drugs and I just had to see for myself first hand. And then it turned out they were right and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. Levi, I realized that you’re not a monster. You’re just as human and as fragile as any of the rest of us. Please, forgive me. I beg you; forgive me for leaving you and refusing to hear you out. Forgive me for everything.” The tears had spilled over Eren’s eyes and were left to burn a trail down his face.

“I’m the one who needs to be asking for forgiveness. I lied to you and didn’t trust you the way I should have. And here I am; a pathetic excuse for a human waiting to leave and go to get treatment because I sunk down back into my old ways and got myself fucked up to where if you hadn’t come, I would’ve just died. I’ve worked so hard to become a decent person and it was all for nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

“It wasn’t for nothing.”

“Oh, yeah? Then what the fuck do I have left in this world to live for?”

“I’m going to help you, Levi. I’m going to stay by your side and watch as you slowly rise back up to the man I fell in love with.”

“After everything, you want to help me.” Levi asked incredulously.

“That’s right.”

“I’ll never understand you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

“Levi?”

“What?”

“Please don’t ever do drugs again for as long as you live.”

Levi’s eyes were wide as he heard Eren’s request; Eren was choked up as he said it. They stared at each other for a long time before Levi answered.

“I won’t.”

“Promise me.”

“I promise.”

-x-

The next morning, the nurses helped Levi out of bed and supported him as he took a few shaky steps to get a feel for walking again, after having been lying down for almost an entire week. When he was fairly stable, they handed him a pile of clothes for him to wear that day. It felt great to finally be able to wear normal clothes again, Levi thought as he pulled on a comfortable pair of light-wash jeans and a plain light blue t-shirt. He also put on the black zip-up hoodie that had been in the pile of clothes; he was cold. Eren was currently grabbing himself some breakfast from the hospital cafeteria and would be back any minute. Soon the doctor would come in and fill out the necessary paperwork and then Levi would be driven off to the treatment center that had been chosen for him.

When Eren was gone, the nurses commented on how he hadn’t left Levi’s side at all and how much concern he had shown towards him. It was like the past several months had never happened; as if they had never parted ways. But the evidence was all around him, and now he would have to face treatment for his addiction.  
Hopefully Eren would at least visit him once in a while. If he was going to stick true to what he had said last night, he would.

Treatment was not something that Levi was looking forward to in the slightest. That was a place where they wouldn’t let him be a private person the way he had always been. In all honesty, he felt like he could really use a hit right then. Just as the thought crossed his mind, Eren appeared in the doorway. Happiness spread through Eren when he saw Levi standing on his own two feet and generally looking close to his old, normal self.

Without thinking, he closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around Levi, leaned down and buried his face in Levi’s hair. Levi slowly returned the embrace, arms placed around Eren’s back. The nurses had left the room so that Levi could change in peace and had yet to return. Once the two separated, Levi sat down at the edge of his hospital bed; he was still pretty tired. A few minutes later, the nurses returned along with the doctor.

“Today’s the day!” One of the nurses exclaimed, smiling at both Levi and Eren.

“Are you ready to turn over a new leaf, Levi?” The doctor asked as he grabbed a clipboard that had a stack of forms for himself to fill out and for Levi to sign. 

“I am.” Levi said simply, eyes fixed on Eren as he did so.

Eren smiled in return.

Once everything was filled out and Levi was ready to be taken away, the doctor left with the nurses so that Eren and Levi could say their goodbyes. Eren spoke first.

“Well, I talked to the doctor and he said that they don’t allow patients to have visitors for the first week, so I won’t be able to visit you until sometime next week.”

“Alright.”

“So, this is goodbye then, for now.” Eren added awkwardly.

“I’m getting quite irate with goodbyes, to be quite honest.” 

“Me too. But at least we know this is a temporary goodbye.”

“In theory.”

“What?”

“There’s no guarantee that you’ll visit me. You may be saying you will in order to appease me and make me more willing to get this bullshit treatment over with.”

“Trust me. I need you to trust me, Levi.”

Levi sighed deeply and closed his eyes as he breathed. When he opened his eyes again he said, “Alright. I trust you. I’ll see you soon.”

“Good luck, Levi. I believe in you.” 

That was the most important statement Levi had heard in a long time. Suddenly the obstacle of recovering himself seemed slightly more manageable. 

“Goodbye, Eren.”

“Goodbye.”

The doctor came back and this time left with Levi beside him. Eren watched as the two men became further and further away until they had completely disappeared from sight. In a week, he would be able to see Levi again. He had high hopes for Levi; as long as he was determined to fix himself he would accomplish that. Eren really did believe in him.

Levi had survived.

Eren had truly forgiven him.

Feeling happier than he had felt in months, Eren awaited for Mikasa to show up in the parking lot so that he could finally get home and get a good night’s rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song "Someone Who Cares" by Three Days Grace is currently playing on my itunes and it's making me emotional.


	17. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is placed into rehab, and Eren visits him often.

Smoke left Levi’s parted lips in a thin stream as he leaned over the railing of the balcony outside of his room in the treatment center. He was wearing a white collared t-shirt and dark-wash jeans. The balcony overlooked the parking lot, so it wasn’t a terribly great view, but for Levi’s purposes that day, the view suited him just fine. Eren would be arriving any time within the next half-hour, according to one of the attendants who watched over him.

Rehab itself had been an incredibly frustrating experience for Levi. There was entirely too much emotional involvement required of him. He was on edge as it was; he faced many cravings for drugs even though he knew he didn’t actually need them anymore. But addiction does not simply quit by will alone, and he knew that the cravings wouldn’t go away for a long time. But he still found himself in fowl moods often, and the attendants often tried to coax him out of his moods to no avail. He had formed a nervous habit of picking at the old wounds from the prick of the needle when he was trying to keep his mind off of the heroin he could have been doing right now if he weren’t there. 

When the urges were really strong, Levi did his best to think of Eren. Eren would be proud of his progress, would be proud as long as he made a genuine effort to better himself. So despite his pessimistic outlook on the therapy itself, he put his best effort forth to open up during each session. He met an array of other addicts; he was surprised by the number of them who had previous involvement in underworld affairs. He was careful not to reveal too much about himself to any of the others; they may have all been there to recover but that didn’t make them trustworthy people. 

His room was decent enough. His bed was comfortable and at least he didn’t have to share with anybody else. He barely got any alone time, though, as there was constantly an attendant hovering over him. He had been there for a week and a day, which meant that he was allowed to be visited by anyone who cared to. They wouldn’t be allowed to take him anywhere until he had been there for thirty days; assuming he passed all checks and they deemed him ready to be in the outside world for a limited time. 

Eren had jumped at the opportunity and as soon as Levi had called him (with the phones owned by the rehab center)to let him know that he could come out and see him, Eren had left the house in a rush, telling Mikasa and Armin that he’d be back sometime in the evening. Around one thirty in the afternoon, Eren’s old car pulled into the driveway and Levi watched as he got out of his car and entered through the main doors so that he could check-in as a visitor. Levi sat in the edge of his bed and waited for one of the attendants to bring Eren up to his room.

Several minutes later and there was a knock at the door followed by the sound of the door opening, and Eren appeared in the doorway alongside a short attendant. He was wearing a red and white striped polo and a pair of khaki shorts and Levi saw a happy grin plastered over Eren’s face. Levi got up off the bed and walked half-way to Eren; Eren closed the distance and reached out to hug Levi. The embrace was comforting to Levi; a welcome familiarity among all of the new and foreign aspects of his life in rehab.   
The attendant cleared her throat and began to speak as the two pulled away from each other. “So, how about a tour of the place?” 

Eren shrugged and said “sure” as he fell in step behind the attendant and beside Levi as they all left Levi’s room. In Levi’s eyes, the tour was pointless. The facility was basically just a house that was occupied with a bunch of druggies seeking some sort of solace; that was all there was to it. A standard kitchen, a standard living area with a TV and other entertainment options, a bunch of identical rooms for each patient. If anything, the attendant was just making sure they had less alone time together. While Eren had already been thoroughly checked over for drugs (In a lot of cases court-ordered addicts who didn’t truly want to recover would call in friends to smuggle substances to them) but anyone could bypass any rule if they tried hard enough. The attendants refused to trust patients until they had been there for some time; as evident by the thirty-day-no-leaving rule.

This left Levi in a rather ill mood; he just wanted to sit with Eren and vent about how bullshit the treatment was and how bullshit addiction was and how hard every minute was because heroin and cocaine were always on Levi’s mind. Then again, he also would have been content with punching a hole through a wall out of pure frustration. The attendant talked in a constant stream of overly-energetic babble; neither Levi nor Eren was paying much attention to her. Their tour eventually came to an end, and finally the attendant reluctantly let Eren and Levi be. As soon as they were back in his room, Levi led them out to the balcony where he fetched a cigarette from a pack in his pants pocket. 

“They let you smoke here?” Eren asked, slightly surprised; he had never given much thought as to how treatment centers approached less dangerous habits such as smoking.

“They figure smoking is nothing compared to what any of us are here for. They don’t want to put us under too much stress in case we freak out or something.” Levi explained as he lit the cigarette stationed between his teeth. 

“That makes sense, I guess. So, how’ve you been faring here?”

“Fucking sucks. Frustrating enough to have my mind on drugs all the time but the constant doting and hovering of the attendants makes it that much worse.”

“Is it really difficult? Not having access to drugs, I mean.”

“I’ll put it to you this way; it’s a damned good thing I’m here no matter how annoying I think this place is, because it’s entirely necessary for me to be stripped of all availability to drugs because otherwise I’m sure I’d fuck up again despite my best intentions.” 

Levi was being honest; no point in acting stronger than he was in front of Eren. Eren was the one person he didn’t have to put an impenetrable barrier over his emotions to. Levi thoughtfully smoked his cigarette as Eren stood beside him. 

“I wish we could go somewhere and do something.” Eren said.

“Tell me about it. I’m not exactly thrilled about spending all of my time cooped up in here.”

They returned inside and talked for the remainder of Eren’s visit. Eren told Levi about what him and Mikasa and Armin had been up to for the summer (Which wasn’t much; broke college students don’t do a whole lot in their free time, really) and Levi ranted about the therapy sessions that required emotional output on his part. Levi leaned up against Eren and set his head on his shoulder when he began to vent about how his body was missing the drugs and how he was used to the emotional detachment from life he experienced when high. Eren was glad that Levi was willing to tell him all about it, because god knows that was the only way he’d release his true feelings about it.

Neither Eren nor Levi were sure where the two of them stood as far as relationships went, but for now they were content to just be together. Eren had wanted to stay longer but the attendant had barged in, claiming that visiting time was over and that Levi had to go down and eat supper with the other patients. Eren reluctantly stood up and said his goodbye to Levi and promised to visit again as soon as he could. 

-x-

Eren visited about three times a week; a fact that made some of the attendants happy for Levi to have such a strong supporter and that annoyed some of the other attendants for whatever reason. Probably because they always had to go through the effort of checking Eren in, Levi thought. 

There were better days and there were worse days for Levi. One time when Levi was only a few days away from the thirty-day mark, he lost it in Eren’s presence. They had been sitting together on the couch that was in Levi’s room; a simplistic cream-color sofa. It had been a bad day for Levi as far as urges were concerned and it had just felt like he was making no significant progress.

“It doesn’t go away, Eren. It’s all I think about. It’s all there is.”

“You’re doing great, though. There are rough patches to everything.”

“This isn’t a single fucking rough patch; this is the most difficult thing I’ve ever been through and I’m getting sick of working towards a light at the end of the tunnel that I can’t even see.”

“You have to be patient. Change doesn’t happen overnight.”

“It’s been a whole goddamned month already.”

“So? It’s only a month.”

“Only a month? Do you even understand how fucking long this one month has taken? How excruciating it is to be consumed by your own destructive thoughts? You don’t fucking know anything.”

“I’m trying to help the best that I can.”

“Well, it’s not enough!”

“What do you want me to do, then?”

“I don’t know! Just fucking fix me, I’m sick of being damaged!” Levi was shouting now; he had gotten up from the couch and was angrily pacing back and forth. Levi rarely had angry outbursts like that and Eren was unsure of how to react.

“You just need to heal. It’s a slow process. I can’t help you any more than I’m doing.”

“Try harder then! Fix me, goddammit!” Levi screamed, grabbing a round vase that served as a centerpiece on the rectangular coffee table and before Eren could protest, threw it across the room. It erupted into thousands of pieces as it struck the ground. Levi was shaking; pain in his eyes as he realized that he had just lost it. He sank to his knees and put his head in his hands and Eren immediately got up and knelt beside him on the carpet. He lifted Levi’s chin to get a look at his face and was alarmed to see the tears spilling from Levi’s eyes. Eren gathered Levi into his arms and set him on his lap; Levi cried into his chest as Eren rocked him back and forth gently, running his fingers through his hair to comfort him. 

Later, once Levi had recovered from his episode, they cleaned up the shattered vase together. 

Eventually it was time for Eren to take off; visiting hours were coming to their end for the evening. Before he made his way to the doorway, Eren leaned down and brushed his lips gently over Levi’s.

-x-

Levi had successfully completed one month of three at the treatment center. The attendants deemed him eligible to leave the facility with his visitors (He didn’t know why they bothered to make visitors plural, Eren was the only one who ever came to see him) as he pleased, as long as he was back in the building by nine ‘o clock at night. Upon return, he would be required to be checked for drugs on him and would also have to be tested for drugs in his system as well.

Eren was on his way to pick Levi up; they hadn’t made specific plans on where they would go, just that they would get Levi away from the center for the day. Levi checked out of the center and got into the passenger side of Eren’s car. 

“Hey there; welcome back to the world.” Eren said as a greeting to Levi.

“I’m not complaining. Where are we going?”

“No idea. I don’t know the area that well.”

“Neither do I.”

“Drive around and stop if we find anything worth stopping for?”

“May as well.”

After driving aimlessly around the city for an hour, they found a quiet-looking little park and decided to take a walk through it. The fresh air would do Levi good, Eren thought. As they walked side by side, Eren was tempted to take Levi’s hand into his own. He decided against it; he still wasn’t sure where they were relationship-wise. Sure, Levi hadn’t protested when Eren had kissed him after his breakdown, but he had literally just gotten out of a breakdown. He wanted to speak to Levi about it, but Levi’s biggest concern needed to be recovery. And so he walked in silence alongside Levi.

-x-

Levi was deep in thought as they slowly traveled through the wooded area of the park. Word in the underworld had spread like wildfire that Levi had made a return; there was no doubt in his mind that there were people waiting impatiently for a chance at him. As long as he was in the rehab program, he would have no issues; rehab was too far into normal society for the underworld to try and get him from there. He had already determined that the former underworld members that were patients at the treatment center weren’t out to get him; they were too concerned with their own affairs.

But as soon as his three months were up, he would be returning to the city that hosted T.U. He would be in danger there until he could wrap up all of his business; and as long as Eren was by his side, he would be in danger as well. He would have to make sure Eren was fully aware of that and would have to tell him the truth no matter what; no more lies or details conveniently left out.

“Hey, Eren.”

“Hm?”

“Once my three months are up, I’ll be returning home.”

“Yeah, so?”

“I know that you know that during the past several months I’ve gone back to criminal activity in the underworld.”

“…Yeah, I know.”

“There are people out to get me. People want me dead and there’s a very good chance that my own hands will have to be bloodied once more before I can truly cut my ties to the underworld. It’s going to be dangerous all around me until those ties are cut.”

“I’m not leaving you alone just because it’s dangerous.”

“You’re an idiot. You could get killed.”

“So could you, but you seem to have no problems with that.”

“This is the life I’ve grown up with. If I die of a bullet fired from somebody else’s gun, I’ll just be like any other casualty of underworld crime. You’re different; you’re not involved.”

“I don’t care. I promised that I’d stick by your side and I have no intention of going back on that.”

“There’s also the chance that you may have to watch me kill another person. Could you handle that?” 

“I have no choice. If you kill another man I’ll know it’s to protect your own life; and mine.”

“You care about me that much?” Levi felt he didn’t deserve to be cared about after every awful decision he’d made in his life.

“I never stopped loving you, you know.” 

The rest of the walk was spent in silence and they eventually circled back to the car. Eren was about to put the key in the ignition when Levi tugged on his sleeve, causing him to instinctually turn to face Levi. Levi leaned over the seat and pressed his lips to Eren’s, catching Eren by surprise. Levi placed his hands on Eren’s shoulders in order to balance himself and Eren automatically wrapped his arms around Levi’s back in order to pull him closer. The kiss started out sweet and gentle but turned rougher as time went on. Their tongues battled against each other and explored each other’s mouths. It had been a long time since they had kissed like that; passion fueled their every movement. They were two souls who desperately needed each other and it showed in the way that Levi’s bodily lovingly curled up against Eren’s, in the way that Eren clung to Levi as if paranoid he could slip through his fingers at any moment.

The kiss was eventually broken and Levi returned to the passenger’s seat of the car. It was about six o’ clock and both men were starving. 

“Well, I can’t afford Le Bernadin quality dining, but I can take you to Applebee’s or something, if you want.”

Levi would have been more than willing to pay for dinner at Le Bernadin or somewhere similar; but his bank account was far from what it used to be. So he just said, “Fine by me” as Eren put the car into drive and began the pursuit of a place to eat. Ironically enough, Applebee’s was the first restaurant they managed to find. They both ordered burgers and fries.

Eren paid the bill when they had both finished eating and they talked about how Applebee’s really wasn’t all that great on the way back to the treatment center. Levi mumbled something about how dumb it was that he had to go back when they pulled into the parking lot.

“Cheer up; you’re a third of the way there.” Eren said as he kissed Levi goodnight. 

“Oi, whatever.” Was Levi’s reply as he left the car and pushed the door to the treatment center open and stepped inside. Once Levi was out of sight entirely, Eren pulled out of the parking lot and began the half-hour drive home.

He missed Levi already.

-x-

Two months into Levi’s rehab program and it was already the later end of August. He would be unable to return to T.U. as a professor; he wouldn’t be back in time. Although if he really wanted to remain a teacher there, it was unlikely to be an issue. Erwin would undoubtedly cover for Levi and allow for him to continue his teaching career. 

But the more he thought about it, the more he decided that the best move would be to get out of the teaching field. He had enjoyed his life as a college professor but it no longer suited him; besides, his reputation there was as good as ruined, already. He recalled when Eren had told him that there were quite a few rumors going around that he was on drugs. Going back to teaching almost a month into the school year would raise a red flag with the students and they would inevitably conclude that Levi had been in rehab. How pathetic that they would be one hundred percent correct, Levi thought with disgust. 

He mapped out a plan that sounded decent to his own ears that he decided to run by Eren the next time he saw him. Sure enough, a day later Levi was riding passenger in Eren’s car when he began the conversation.

“So, school starts up again soon.”

“Yeah, I won’t be able to visit you as often as I do now, which sucks.”

“It’ll only be for about a half a month, anyways, so it doesn’t matter. But we both know that I won’t be released in time to begin the school year with everyone else.”

“Won’t Erwin just make up a story for you?”

“If I asked him to, I’m sure he would.”

“You mean you’re not going to?”

“Cut the shit, Eren. I can’t go back there. Everyone will figure out exactly what happened. Everyone will know I’ve spent three months of my life in rehab because I almost killed myself overdosing on heroin. Word spreads fast. Besides, I’ll still have unfinished business to attend to so that I can finally move on from underworld bullshit. So I was thinking, I just won’t go back to T.U. once I’m released, and I’ll focus on tying up loose ends.”

“Sounds like a good plan so far.”

“But the thing is, I don’t want to stay there. I’ve spent too much of my life in that city, too much time in this damn state. If I’m going to properly start over, I’m going to need to do it somewhere else.”

“So you want to move away.”

“Not across the country or anything. Even just one state over would be fine.”

Eren found himself disheartened as he listened to Levi talk; his words made perfect sense and he did realize that the best thing for Levi would be to move. But he was still disappointed knowing that he wouldn’t see Levi every day.

“Your agony’s written all over your face. As long as I don’t move far away, you’ll still be able to come out on holiday breaks and during the summer, and probably even for a weekend here and there. Assuming that’s what you want, of course. I won’t blame you if you don’t want a long distance relationship; I know you’re a college student and commitments like that are strenuous.”

“Don’t be stupid; of course I want to.”

“Good, then.”

“One question, though.”

“What?”

“When I graduate, assuming we’re still together, can I move in with you?”

Eren seemed bashful as he asked the question; Levi met his eyes as he replied, “Of course you can.”

-x-

The school year started and Eren was unable to visit Levi as often, but Friday date night had once again become a tradition. Sometimes all they did was find a thinly-populated area and sat together in Eren’s car, other times they went out to eat. Levi still thought about drugs often, but it was slowly becoming easier to imagine living the rest of his life without their influence. 

Eren had still yet to decide on a career path, and that was a decision that would probably be made at the latest possible moment he could get away with. He began stopping by the coffee shop every now and then; whenever he knew he’d be visiting Levi, he’d make sure to stop by and get each of them a coffee. By the time it reached Levi, it was lukewarm at best, but it was the thought that counted. Annie had known immediately that the two of them were back together when she noticed Eren standing in line. Annie had become one of Eren’s favorite people and one of his best friends throughout the summer, and when Eren had confirmed her suspicions she apologized for having said that they were never meant to be together. She was happy that Eren had found such happiness with him.

Mikasa was also pleased with how Eren and Levi were doing; she enjoyed seeing Eren smiling instead of crying on her shoulder.

Armin’s departure had been sad; it would be a long time before they would get to see him again. But having him around all summer had been wonderful and the memories made would last with the trio forever. Mikasa and Eren had waved goodbye as they watched Armin disappear through the gate to his airplane and then gone home to an apartment that felt strangely empty without Armin. 

Levi’s experience in rehab was quickly coming to a close. The attendants made it a point to tell him that he had done much better in treatment than most people had, and that he should be proud of himself. He was proud of himself because Eren was proud of him. Eren had told him countless times while holding Levi in his arms that he couldn’t be prouder of Levi for facing his demons and allowing himself to give up his crutch. Eren was his strength and his reason for not giving up. 

Levi would be released in one day.

In one day, when Eren came to pick him up, Levi would be leaving the treatment center for good.

Levi would finally be free.


	18. Home Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is finally able to leave treatment and Eren spends the weekend with him.

By the time that everything was said and done, it was already five ‘o clock in the evening when Levi was released to his freedom. It took a shit ton of paperwork, a medical check-up, and all kinds of other bullshit before Levi was able to walk out the main door of the treatment center for the last time. As he approached Eren’s car that was parked right outside the entrance, he turned his head and looked back at the center one last time. Treatment may have sucked, but he knew that it had been the only way to keep him clean. Now he could honestly say that his days of floating through life in a drug-induced stupor had come to an end. 

Levi closed the car door behind him and was met with Eren’s radiant smile.

“You did it.” Eren said as he leaned over and kissed Levi.

“That I did.” Levi replied, making himself comfortable in the car. He had succeeded, and he once again had Eren beside him. He couldn’t ask for more from the world right then.

“Wanna get something to eat before we head home?” 

“Do I ever actually say no to that?”

“Good point. Well, since we’re celebrating you, where do you want to go?”

“I don’t even give a shit. Just drive and get us away from here.”

Eren drove and once they were closer to city itself there were plenty of dining options. Eren noticed a Chili’s and since he hadn’t been there in a long time, asked Levi if Chili’s was okay. Levi said sure; like he had said before, he literally did not give a shit. It just felt good to be a part of the real world; not just for a few hours before returning back to the damn center.

Levi ordered a classic ribeye steak that came with mashed potatoes and steam broccoli for sides, and Eren ordered a half rack of ribs served with fries.  
“So, what happens now?” Eren started; Levi sighed slightly as the words fell out of Eren’s mouth.

“We’ll think about that tomorrow. For now, just let me enjoy the day.” Levi replied, popping a bite of steak into his mouth. He already knew what would happen next; he needed to finish his affairs before they finished him. But that was the last subject he wanted to spend the night thinking about.

“Fair enough. I’m just happy you’re back, for good.” Eren had a small glob of barbecue sauce settled on his cheek; he had always been a messy eater, and ribs were messy enough as it was. It was going to irritate the living shit out of Levi so he got up from his seat and leaned over, dabbing at the sauce with a napkin. Eren rolled his eyes but smiled; looked like Levi’s cleanliness obsession was returning. 

“I’m happy you’re back in my life, horrid eating style aside.” Levi replied as he sat back down. 

“Not my fault you can’t deal with a single crumb being anywhere other than the plate.”

“I just don’t understand how so much food can be everywhere other than your mouth.”

“Liven up a bit, would you? Cleanliness is not the meaning of life.”

“It’s damn close.” A wave of sadness rolled through Levi as he recalled the state of his apartment during their breakup; he could feel his own hypocrisy and it hurt. Eren noticed the shadow cross Levi’s face and tried to shift the conversation.

“So, are you ready to live in your own home again?”

“Definitely. Although, I have a question.”

“Yeah?”

“Is my apartment still in the state that it was when I left it?” Pain edged Levi’s voice; going home to his apartment would be a much more upsetting affair if it was still in the state of filth that it had been in before he was hospitalized. 

“I cleaned it when I was there to pack your suitcase. I couldn’t bear to leave it be.”

Levi looked away from Eren; he was ashamed that Eren had seen it like that. He had seen the needles everywhere, the drug remains, and the broken picture frame that he had given him. 

And then he remembered that he had given Eren a watch identical to his own. He looked at Eren’s arms; neither of his wrists possessed the watch. 

“…Eren?”

“Mm?”

“Do you still have the watch I gave you?”

Eren tensed up as soon as the words were out of Levi’s mouth. He had long since forgotten that his watch lay broken on the floor in the corner of his room; he had never bothered to pick it up. He had thrown it full-force at the wall the day of their breakup. 

“I’m so sorry.”

It was painful to think that Eren had discarded it, but he couldn’t blame him in the slightest. After all, he had smashed Eren’s picture frame. 

“It’s fine; you already know that I destroyed the frame and picture you gave me.”

Which was true, but Eren still felt horrible about carelessly discarding the watch. He knew it hadn’t been cheap. 

As they finished their food, they took to more lighthearted discussion over trivial matters such as the weather. Once they were done eating, Eren paid with his card and they got back in his car. About a half hour later, Levi’s apartment complex came into view. Levi hadn’t seen the building in over three months and took comfort in its familiarity. Hand in hand, they entered the building together and rode up in the elevator. Taking a deep breath, Levi retrieved his keys and unlocked his door. Everything was dusty and it wasn’t the cleanest, since nobody had stepped foot inside for three months, but Eren had done a good job of tidying the place up when he was there. He breathed in the apartment’s scent, grateful to be back.

On the way home, the two had reached an unspoken but clear agreement on how they were going to spend their night. They quickly made their way through the house and Levi opened the door to his bedroom. Eren made himself comfortable on Levi’s bed, and without a moment’s pause Levi was on top of him, straddling him. After several long-winded kisses, Levi moved on with his lips. He slowly and gently kissed Eren’s neck, making his way down. From force of habit, he stopped a couple of times to suck on the skin of Eren’s neck to leave his mark of ownership. A blissful sigh escaped Eren’s parted lips as Levi tenderly kissed him everywhere his mouth could reach. When he was satisfied with Eren’s neck, he took Eren’s shirt in his hands and pulled it over his head so that he could access more of Eren’s body. 

He kissed Eren’s collarbone and then moved to his chest. He took a break from kissing and took one of Eren’s nipples into his mouth, flicking his tongue at the hardened bud. He sucked on it before doing the same to the other one. “Mmn.” escaped Eren’s mouth as he did so. His eyes were only half-way open, lust glazing them over.

He resumed his kissing and moved down from his chest to his stomach, lips brushing over every bit of Eren’s skin. Eventually he made it to the waistband of Eren’s pants, and he took his time in undoing the button and sliding Eren’s pants down, along with his boxers. Eren’s erection was in front of Levi and he grabbed it, putting is to his lips. He made sure to look up and keep eye contact with Eren as he teasingly licked along the length. He slowly licked the shaft and then the head, leaving no stretch of flesh untouched by his tongue. Eren instinctually grinded his hips against Levi’s mouth, urging him to take him into his mouth. Levi obliged and took his time in wrapping his lips around the length and took him in.

Levi sucked Eren off and several low moans escaped Eren’s mouth. He tangled his fingers in Levi’s hair and tried to pull his head closer to him so that more of Eren would be in his mouth. Eren’s face heated up and was stained with red knowing that Levi was watching his face the whole time. Levi sucked agonizingly slow until Eren begged him to “P-please, faster, go faster…” and Levi found his begging to be endearing enough to grant his request. He increased his tempo and Eren quickly reached his limit, moaning as he came into Levi’s mouth. 

Levi wiped the cum that he didn’t swallow off of his mouth and gave a “tch” at the mess. Levi stood up and put his fingers in front of Eren’s face until he caught the hint and opened his mouth. Eren sucked on the fingers until they were coated with his saliva. Levi replaced his fingers with his mouth as he planted a sloppy kiss on Eren’s lips as he reached his arm down to Eren’s entrance. He massaged it, teasing Eren, before slowly sliding the first finger inside. He moved the first finger around inside and Eren’s back arched slightly as he slid it in and out rhythmically. Eventually he added a second finger and did the same. Eren tried to stop himself from making too much noise; it embarrassed him when he did. 

Levi took notice of his effort and gave him a look of annoyance. “Stop holding back; I want to hear every fucking noise you make.”

The noise level in the room significantly rose after that.

When Levi felt Eren was ready, he leaned over and opened up the bottom drawer of his nightstand (which housed a variety of unique items), from which he pulled out a bottle of lube. Pulling down his own pants, he lathered the lube along his length and then hovered over Eren. He enjoyed the sight of Eren as a flustered mess underneath him.

He slid in slowly, taking his time so as not to hurt Eren too badly. When he was fully in, he asked Eren if he could move. Eren said yes, a low moan escaping him as he felt Levi’s movement within him. Levi thrusted back in and began a steady rhythm, and Eren gripped the sheets with his fingers as he threw his head back. “L-Levi!” He shouted as Levi sped up his thrusts, low grunts could be heard coming from him as he moved back and forth.

Eren moaned Levi’s name over and over as he approached climax; they both reached their limit at the same time. Eren shouted, “A-ah, Levi!” when he came and Levi let out a low moan as he came inside of Eren. Tired, he lay on top of Eren for a moment before pulling out and resting beside him. Eren curled up against Levi, resting his head against his chest as they both recovered their breathing. Levi stroked Eren’s hair and Eren let out a contented yawn.

This was by far the most vanilla sex they’d ever had; an uncomplicated intimacy between two lovers. They fell asleep in each other’s arms and it felt like they were detached from reality, living in their own private paradise even if only for one night. 

-x-

The next morning, Levi woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. He quickly shuffled out of bed, hoping not to wake Eren who was still sleeping peacefully beside him. He made sure he was in the kitchen, out of Eren’s earshot when he finally answered the phone. He had known exactly who had been calling from the number that lit up on his cell. There was no use in ignoring the call; he couldn’t escape what he had willingly let himself into.

“Hello?”

“It’s been a while, Levi. I’ve been hearing you’ve dropped under the radar again, nobody’s seen you in some time. Pity, too, you had just begun your great comeback. Your little jumping between worlds ruse is getting rather old, to be honest with you. Are you going to choose a side at some point? You’re making me look bad.”

“I’ve already chosen.”

“Can you really last in society? I know your personality, Levi. You don’t meld well with society. Your addictive personality does you no favors, either. Face it; you’re not cut out for that. Stay where you were meant to be.”

“No. I can’t do it anymore; I can’t keep running around in circles at risk of getting killed every moment of my life while I’m too busy stealing my next hit.”

“You know as well as I do your life will be in danger no matter what. You came back and now people remember you; leaving now will do you no favors.”

“I’m not going back again.”

“Your resolve sounds strong but I also distinctly remember you saying you would only do enough cocaine for one day and look where that got you. Stop trying to escape, Levi.”

“Everything is different now. I’ll destroy whoever crosses my path and puts my life in danger until my enemies are gone, but I refuse to sink back down into killing for the sake of killing and stealing.”

“Oh, Levi. Whatever you say; enjoy your game of make-believe. I’ll be here whenever you need anything, as always.”

“I’ll make sure to enjoy never seeing you again, old man.”

“Goodbye, Levi. Maybe you’ll beat the odds. I doubt it, but if anyone could do it, it’s you. In any case, you know my number if you need anything.”

Levi hung up the phone without answering the goodbye. Levi didn’t want to destroy more lives than he already had but at this point he was aware that he likely wouldn’t have a choice. He needed to protect himself and Eren; they were the most important. His guess was that wrapping up his business would take a month or two at most; life goes fast for the ruthless criminals with nothing to lose. 

Eren appeared in the kitchen soon after Levi’s conversation with the old man concluded. 

“Were you talking to someone just before or was I still mentally asleep?” Eren asked as he yawned and stretched. Both of them were only wearing their boxers; Levi hadn’t had time to pull on clothes before answering the phone and Eren just didn’t feel like getting dressed yet. Levi started up a pot of coffee as he answered Eren. 

“Just an old man who has nothing better to do than stick his nose in other people’s business.”

“What?”

“Old-time criminal who’s retired. Everyone knows who he is because barely anyone involved with the underworld makes it past age fifty. He considers himself neutral and isn’t aligned with any groups. He also has an extremely plentiful stock of drugs that he’s managed to stockpile over the years.” Eren had a feeling that he was Levi’s drug dealer, but he didn’t ask.

Levi was going to stop his explanation but protecting Eren through withholding information had proven to be the wrong choice, so he opted for what he hoped was the right choice. 

“He was calling to try and convince me to stay with crime since it’s near impossible to stay out of, especially for those who have known it all their life. Essentially, I told him to fuck off and tell him I was done but the old bastard doesn’t listen to a word I have to say, really.”

“Are you worried?”

“About what?”

“About all of the people who are out for your blood.”

“No. That’s the way it’s always been. If anything, I’m concerned about you getting caught in the crossfire.”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll be at school most of the time, anyways.”

“Yeah. But still, do you understand how much danger I put you in?”

“Levi, stop that. I know. I’m not concerned about it; you know what you’re doing. I believe in you one hundred percent.”

-x-

They spent the rest of the day watching TV in Levi’s bed. It was Saturday and Eren planned on spending the night again; he had brought a set of clothes with him last night and had a drawer to himself in Levi’s dresser so that he always had a change of clothes when he spent the night. They watched old cheesy black and white movies (which apparently Levi had a soft spot for; he seemed to genuinely enjoy them much to Eren’s amusement) and cuddled together in the large, comfortable bed. Neither of them had ended up putting on clothes, since they had no intentions of going anywhere. 

Eren was forced to get up at some time in the afternoon because he was hungry; he made himself a sandwich before returning to Levi’s bedroom.

“If you get crumbs all over my bed, you’re dead to me.”

“Shut up and let me enjoy my sandwich.”

“I swear to god, Eren.”

And that was how Eren ended up getting stuck with washing the bedding; he had indeed gotten crumbs all over the bed and Levi made him wash it immediately.

“Go run it downstairs to the wash. It needed to be washed, anyways.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Yes. Now go and get it over with so we can comfortably lie on the bed again.”

“You’re insane.”

By the time the bedding was clean and put back on the bed, it was suppertime. They cooked alongside each other; Levi knew what he was doing and Eren did not.

“Have you ever cooked in your life, even?”

“Mikasa always cooks.”

“Tch. You don’t know anything, do you.” It wasn’t even phrased as a question. 

Dinner ended up turning out pretty good; they had chicken with salad and a pasta side. Levi ended up doing ninety-percent of it despite the intentions being to split the work evenly. When they finished, they did the dishes together and crawled back into bed. There was an endless sea of old movies playing on the station they had it on (a station Eren had never even known existed until he knew Levi) and Eren drifted off after yet another black and white movie about feuding families. Levi’s attention was focused on the screen as Eren dozed off in his arms. 

-x-

On Sunday, Eren left in the early afternoon so that he could work on homework and spend time with Mikasa before class the next day. Over the weekend he had almost forgotten that he was a normal college student who had homework and classes to concern himself with. He had been reluctant to leave Levi; he knew Levi would be able to handle himself fine but he was still worried for him. All it took was one misstep, one incorrect action and Levi would be dead by the hand of a worthless criminal. 

The thought of Levi finishing his underworld business was bittersweet to Eren. On the one hand, it would be a huge relief and Levi would be much safer. But it would still suck to not be able to see Levi every week, pretty much whenever he wanted to. But he would deal with that when they got there, because god knew it would be a long road yet to get to that point. 

For now, all they could do was live their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed smut and fluff basically ;3;


	19. Foreboding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi begins working towards achieving freedom from his past ties to underworld crime.

For lack of any better options, Eren had chosen to continue with Biology for his required science course as a sophomore. Most of the people in his friend group had chosen the same, and most of them were all in the same class. Biology 2 was three days a week just as Biology 1 had been. Their teacher was a bald man who was overall rather harsh and preferred shouting over talking. He was less popular than even Levi had been; Eren hadn’t heard any good statements about the new professor at all. As class came to a close one Wednesday afternoon (Biology 2 took place in the afternoon instead of morning like Biology 1) Connie got up from his seat and said, “Jesus, I’d pick Professor Levi over this guy any day.” 

“What did happen to him, anyways? I haven’t seen him around at all this school year.” Christa spoke up; she and Ymir had become a part of their friend group when sophomore year began. Christa was the type of pretty petite blonde girl that had men falling all over her; she ignored them all and graciously declined any offers to “hang out sometime and catch a movie or dinner”. She never said if she were single or not, but everyone in the group was willing to bet money that she and Ymir were together. They were never more than a few feet apart; today was no exception. Christa was still sitting in her seat in the lecture hall and Ymir was standing right behind her chair. 

Ymir answered, “I’ve heard rumors that he’s been seen out and about with what looked to be a student. He was probably fucking a student and got found out or something.”

Jean threw in his two cents. “Okay, that’s fine and all, but who would actually want to fuck him? I mean, really. Professor Levi. I always assumed that he was a frigid prude who would die a virgin or something.”

Eren had to hold himself back from giving Jean a sharp glare that conveyed his hatred for what Jean had just said. But he had no reason to defend Levi in any way, as far as his friends knew. And so he sat there in silence, gathering his materials as the others kept the conversation going.

“I thought the rumors were that he was on drugs.”

“Well, yeah. I suppose he could have been fired for that or something.”

“Maybe it was both. Maybe he was way more fucked up than we all thought.”

“He didn’t seem like that bad of a person, though. Just kind of…cold.”

“Yeah, but you never can tell with those closed-off types. They’re closed-off for a reason, most of the time.”

“Guys, we’re missing the point. Seriously, what one of these students wants to bang him?”

“Oh, shut up, Jean. We never thought anyone would want to fuck you, either, and here Marco is. He’s way too good for you, by the way.”

“Oh, guys, be nice to Jean. He means well.”

“Does he?”

“Not really. But it is a valid question, though; I’m pretty curious to know who it would be if that were the case.”

“I guess we’ll never find out. A shame, really.”

“Yeah.”

“Eren, you don’t have anything to add?”

“Hm, I guess I just can’t imagine anyone fucking Levi, either. I don’t have much to say on it, I guess.”

“Really? You always have such a strong opinion on everything. Weird.”

“Yeah, well, I guess I never thought about it much. I’m taking off; see you guys later.”

“Bye, Eren!”

Eren separated himself from the group and headed out to grab a coffee from the coffee shop; Biology was his last class for the day. As he cut across the grass to get to the sidewalk quicker, he felt a peculiar feeling.  
It felt like he was being…watched?

He scanned the area; all he saw was a bunch of college students going about their own business. Shaking off the feeling that someone was watching, he crossed the street and got his coffee before going home for the day.

-x-

Levi could approach finishing his business using two methods; he could let the assholes who wanted him dead find him, or he could find them himself. He decided that the latter would be a quicker, more effective method and so on Wednesday morning, he wandered the streets that essentially belonged to the members of the underworld. This mainly consisted of a bunch of back roads and alleyways that were very seldom traveled by members of normal society; one could almost feel the sense of foreboding about those areas. Levi scoured the shadowy streets with his pistol close at hand as he awaited round one of many battles that we necessary for him to win to be freed from the underworld for good. 

After wandering for a couple of hours, he heard footsteps and loud voices. Levi guessed it was a group of three, judging by the distinction between voices. When he rounded the corner, he would be faced with whoever was there. The voices were vaguely familiar and he hoped they were some of the people he was waiting for; he wanted to feel like he was edging closer to ultimate freedom. He was freed from drugs and freed from rehab, but his soul was still chained to the dark world of merciless criminals who had nothing worth living for. As Levi approached the group, he could hear bits and pieces of their conversation. They were apparently on their way home (wherever that could possibly be) from a job that had landed them a colorful variety drugs and they were excited to arrive home so that they could fuck themselves up before leaving in the middle of the night to work on a more lengthy and difficult job. 

Levi rounded the corner. He was right; there were three men of varying heights and statures in front of him. They stepped dead in their tracks at the sight of him; the man in the middle who appeared to be the leader grinned widely. His own opponent had shown himself and he hadn’t even had to search for him.

“Levi. It’s been too long, man.”

“Indeed it has. So regretful to see that you haven’t gotten killed yet.”

“The same could be said for you, although you were always more likely to kill yourself on all those drugs you do. In any case, it’s a pleasure to be graced by your presence. I was going to come for you soon; I just can’t stay away, you know.” The man taunted, in a pathetic attempt to rile Levi up. The man frowned when he realized that Levi was just as cold and unreadable as he had ever been. He had always hoped he would get the chance to be the one to kill him; people had been out for Levi’s blood for a long time. To kill him was to achieve a high standing in the underworld no matter how low on the ladder you were before.

And that man’s chance was standing right in front of him. 

“So, you gonna hand over your shit or what?” The man said after Levi didn’t reply to his first bout of speech. 

“Alas, I have nothing to give.”

“Bullshit. You keep a fountain of shit on you at all times.”

“Yes, three months ago, I did.”

“Oh, not anymore? Cleaned up your act, did you?”

“Indeed, I did.”

“Bullshit, man. Why you gotta play pretend like that? Hand over your shit, man. There’s three of us and one of you.”

“Are you forgetting the time I took out four of your group in one go?”

“Way back in the day. I’ve heard you’re not as brutal as you used to be. Like society made you soft.”’

“Do you want to find out?”

“Man, just let us take your shit or we kill you on the spot.”

“I told you. I don’t have anything.”

“Hand something over or we shoot.”

“Nothing to give, just tying up loose ends.”

“Guns at the ready, boys.”

“Idiots. Regardless of time, I still wiped out most of your group.”

“You don’t have the same look in your eyes. You’re not a killer anymore. You don’t belong here now.”

“You’re right. I don’t.”

“Say goodbye to your life, Levi.”

Levi kissed the handle of his gun as he lifted it up at the same time that the other men did. 

The deafening blast of several gunshots rang through the air around them.

-x-

Eren was the first one home; Mikasa was still attending class. He grabbed a bag of chips from the cupboard and sat on the couch with his laptop in his lap. He intended to get some homework done before Mikasa would get there, but it turned out that Armin was online. Since school had started before Levi could be released, Armin hadn’t yet gotten to hear that Levi had successfully completed his treatment course and was back at home. Eren told him right away once they began chatting on Skype and Armin sounded genuinely happy that Levi was doing well; which meant that Eren was also doing well. Armin said that he had to go right as Mikasa walked through the door, which worked out just fine. 

Closing his laptop, Eren asked Mikasa how her day had been. Uneventful, she claimed as she took the bag of chips away from Eren and began eating them herself.

Eren gave her a reproachful glare as his chips were taken away. They sat together watching TV for a while, and when evening rolled around Eren got up and grabbed his phone. He had taken to calling Levi every night just to make sure he was okay; to make sure he had lived another day. Mikasa knew that it was Eren’s nightly routine and she kept watching TV when he moved into the kitchen. He brought up Levi in his contacts and clicked the call button, listening to the phone ring once. Twice. Three times. On the fourth ring, a trickle of anxiety ran through Eren. 

Maybe he was taking a shower or smoking out on his balcony without his phone. The ringing stopped and switched to Levi’s voicemail (A generic “You’ve reached Levi, I’m unable to come to the phone right now but if you leave a message I’ll get back to you as soon as I can). Eren decided to call back in twenty minutes if Levi didn’t call back within that time.

“No answer?” Mikasa asked as he sat back down on the couch.

“Nope.” Eren said, trying to keep the concern out of his tone. 

“I’m sure he just doesn’t have his phone on him at the moment.”

“Yeah.”

“Try not to worry too much, okay?”

“Alright.”

Eren impatiently waited on the couch for twenty minutes to pass by.

-x-

Two bodies remained standing after the shots rang through the air. Two bodies lay lifeless on the ground, blood pooling around them staining the ground with stains of crimson. The man standing across from Levi was shaking in terror. It wasn’t the leader of the group; his life had been drained already. Levi felt pity for him; he was the only one left of what had once been a strong group, similar to how powerful Levi’s family had been. Levi didn’t want to take the life of the man shaking pitifully in front of him; but if he were going to escape there could be no adversaries left to stand in his way. The man dropped his gun and held his arms up in a gesture of surrender; his eyes pleaded for Levi to let him live. 

Agony ripped at Levi as he once again raised his gun and took aim.

One more shot fired through the air, and Levi was the only one left standing. There was a droplet of blood on his cheek; since he was only a short distance away from the men; the spray of blood had managed to reach him slightly. Levi turned away from the lifeless bodies and didn’t look back as he began the journey back to his apartment by foot.   
He had made progress towards his freedom. The first set of his remaining work had been completed. 

Levi’s hand that still gripped the black pistol was shaking. He was no longer the emotionless killer that he had once been. But this was the only way that would allow him to truly begin a new life.

He grabbed a cigarette from the box in his pocket and chain-smoked all the way back to his apartment.

-x-

Two minutes before Eren was about to pick up his phone and try calling Levi again, his phone rang; it was Levi. Eren jumped up from the couch and went to his bedroom as he answered, saying “Hello?”

“Hi, Eren. I’m sorry I missed your call, I was in the shower.”

“It’s fine. I’m just glad you called back.”

“You’re really worried about me, aren’t you?”

“I can’t help it. I don’t want to lose you again.” He had already lost Levi too many times; after their breakup and also when he found Levi passed out in the alleyway, close to death. 

“Well, I’m safe. So, how was your day?”

“It was okay; nothing special. How was yours?” Eren replied; he had forgotten about when he had been walking out of campus and felt like he was being watched, otherwise he would have brought it up.

“Finished some of my affairs; one of the lesser threats, but still. It’s progress.” Eren heard Levi’s voice tremble ever so slightly; Eren wondered if the situation had been particularly bad or difficult to handle.

“Are you okay? You sound a bit shaken up.”

“Yeah, but it’s just…two of them I had no issues taking care of, but the last one got to me. He was a broken man who didn’t truly know what he was doing anymore.” Levi had seen himself in the other man’s eyes; someone who was lost and just needed something to live for. He had faced remorse having to pull the trigger on him instead of giving him a second chance at life like Levi had received. Eren made the connection and wished he could give Levi a hug right then. 

“It was necessary.”

“I know.”

“I wish I were there right now.”

“I wish you were, too.”

“At least the day after tomorrow is Friday.”

“True. I’m looking forward to it.”

“Me too.”

The conversation lasted a couple moments longer before Eren said that he had to go and eat supper; Mikasa was calling for him from the kitchen. They said their goodbyes and Eren reiterated how much he was looking forward to Friday and told Levi to hang in there until then. They rarely said “I love you” at the end of their conversations; it was an unspoken truth that was unnecessary to put into such trivial terms. 

Eren ate his supper in silence and worked on homework for a good majority of the evening before heading off to bed. 

-x-

Levi faced a restless night of sleep that was tormented by nightmares. 

He was once again facing the man that he had been forced to kill earlier; but this time the setting was nighttime. The moon was only a thin sliver in the sky and stars were barely visible due to the lights of the city. A pool of blood surrounded the two of them and the bottoms of Levi’s shoes were made sticky from standing in it. The two men stood face to face, only a few feet separating them. The other man rose his gun as the exact same time that Levi did; as if their actions were mirrored. The shots fired at exactly the same time; the man’s face twisted in agony as he grabbed at his chest; blood poured out of the wound and onto the ground as the man made a futile attempt at holding the wound shut. Levi looked again at the man’s face and screamed when he saw his own face staring back at him. He looked down to see that blood was pouring out of his own chest in the exact same spot as it had on the other man.

He and the man were one and the same; by shooting the other man Levi had shot himself.

Levi’s reaction was so intense that he woke himself up, screaming in real life just as loud as he had in his nightmare. He was drenched in sweat and he put his head in his hands as he tried to separate himself from his nightmare. The image of the other man’s terrified face was burned into Levi’s brain.

It was an hour and a half later that Levi finally fell back into an uneasy slumber, afraid that his nightmares would return.

They did.

-x-

On Friday afternoon, Eren’s last class dragged on slowly and he spent most of the class time staring at the clock, willing the hands to move faster. One more half hour and he would be free to go to Levi’s and spend the entirety of the weekend with him. Eren was one of the first students out of the lecture hall when the Professor dismissed the class, and he hastened back to his apartment. He wouldn’t have bothered with going home first, but since he and Mikasa always walked to campus, he didn’t have his car on hand. As Eren made his way across campus towards the main gates, he once again felt like a pair of eyes was fixed on him. Just like on Wednesday, Eren looked around to find nothing out of the ordinary. He told himself he was just paranoid since he knew that Levi had people constantly searching him out. 

He walked home at as quick of a pace as he could; he was only one step away from jogging. He entered the apartment building so that he could drop off his bag and make sure he was presentable for Levi; he brushed his teeth and tried to tidy his hair a bit before he felt he was ready to be around Levi. He then left a goodbye note to Mikasa (she was hanging out with the others, which Eren would have also been included in if he didn’t opt to spend his weekends with Levi) and locked the door behind him. 

Eren blasted the radio in his car as he drove the fifteen minutes to Levi’s apartment complex. He parked in the space next to Levi’s permanent parking spot (nobody parked around him ever) and made the familiar trudge up to Levi’s apartment. Levi had finally given Eren his own key to the place; in case he ever got there when Levi wasn’t home, such was the case today. It was still early; only about four or so, so Eren wasn’t too surprised that he beat Levi there. He kicked off his shoes by the door and set down on the couch, clicking on the TV to give him something to do while awaiting Levi’s arrival home.

Around five thirty, Eren heard the door opening and turned his head to find Levi entering through the doorway, taking off his shoes and throwing his phone onto the counter before crossing over into the living room. He was noticeably tense and appeared to be rather cross; as he got closer Eren noticed two things. One, Levi was limping heavily. And two, blood was spreading itself across the fabric on Levi’s pants over his lower leg. 

“Jesus Christ, Levi! What the fuck happened?” Eren exclaimed, leaping up out of his seat on the couch to support Levi; he looked like he was going to fall down at any moment. 

“Bullet just grazed my leg, nothing major. Hurts like a bitch but it’ll be fine; just needa bandage it up.” Levi said through gritted teeth; there was no doubt that he was in pain. Eren led him into the bathroom and Levi told him where the medical kit was; Eren fetched it and handed it over to Levi who immediately got to work. He gingerly lifted up his pants over the bleeding leg; the wound was a mess of blood but wasn’t overwhelmingly horrid. Eren asked if Levi wanted help but Levi said that he could do it himself; he had owned countless wounds of this nature over the years and was used to dealing with them.

When he was all bandaged up, he explained what had happened to an extremely concerned Eren.

“One of the more troublesome criminals who’s been out to get me for years. I managed to shoot first, but their shot still fired. Since their aim was thrown considerably off from my shot, it only just grazed me. That man has always been a pain in the ass and it’s nice having him out of the way.” Levi said; Eren tried to be okay with the thought of Levi still being the cause of other’s deaths. He knew it was for their own protection, but it was still a difficult thought to process. 

“I’m glad you’re okay.” Eren said honestly, watching as Levi dug around in the medical kit until he found a small round bottle of painkillers; he took one out of the bottle and popped it into his mouth. “Help me into the bedroom, will you?” Levi looked up at Eren, who was still standing up. Eren helped Levi stand back up and hooked his arm around Levi to support him as they slowly made their way into the bedroom. Eren helped Levi onto the bed; he was sitting up and leaning against the headboard. Eren sat beside him on the bed and asked how Levi was feeling.

“Still hurts, Eren, pain doesn’t go away in two minutes.” The irritation in Levi’s voice was obvious but it was not directed at Eren. He was still tensed up and Eren could practically feel the stress rolling off of Levi in waves.

“Are you okay? You seem like you’re really stressed out.”

“Yeah, I am. This is all bullshit and it’s not easy and I just want it to be over with.” Levi claimed, frustrated. He scowled; constant exposure to what he was trying to escape was taking its toll and he was quickly spiraling down into a terrible mood. 

Eren grabbed Levi’s shoulder and firmly turned him to face Eren. He tugged on the front of Levi’s shirt, pulling his face closer to his and he pressed his lips against Levi’s. Once Eren broke off the kiss he nuzzled Levi’s neck and then turned his head up so that he was right up against Levi’s ear. He whispered in a sultry voice, “Do you want me to alleviate some of your stress for you?”

“Not in the mood right now, if you hadn’t noticed.” Levi huffed, but as Eren started kissing and nipping at his neck he knew that was not truly the case.  
Eren reached down and massaged at Levi’s crotch through his pants, feeling him harden beneath his touch. 

“Your body’s telling me that’s not the case.” Eren nipped playfully at Levi’s ear after saying so. Levi sighed and gave in; Eren wasn’t going to leave him alone and Eren’s touch did feel admittedly good. Since Eren had always been bottom, he had rarely gotten the chance to even suck Levi off. 

Eren undid the button on Levi’s pants and pulled his pants down with both of his hands. Eren took Levi’s length into his hand and gave it a few slow, teasing strokes before positioning himself so that he could take over with his mouth. He kissed the base of the shaft and kissed his way up until he reached the head; he flicked his tongue over it before he took Levi into his mouth. As Eren found his rhythm and sucked, Levi let out soft moans. He became impatient with Eren’s pace and firmly said, “Faster.” Eren didn’t listen at first; in fact, he slowed his pace and with a slight pop removed his mouth from Levi’s member. He took it into his hands and gave it a few pumps before returning to licking and then sucking again.

Annoyed at Eren’s refusal to go faster, Levi grabbed Eren’s hair and pushed so that he had no choice but to accept more of Levi into his mouth; his eyes widened and he almost gagged. But not quite. Eren finally let himself speed up, sucking rapidly as Levi’s moans grew louder; Eren had been surprised to learn that Levi was generally louder in bed than he was. Even so, it was apparent that he was holding himself back and Eren looked up and paused sucking to tell Levi in a mocking tone, “I want to hear every fucking noise you make”. It was exactly what Levi had told him last week. Irritation passed through Levi but Eren continued sucking before he could say anything in response; Levi threw his head back and let out a, “A-ah” as he approached his limit. After a few more sucks on Eren’s part, Levi came into Eren’s mouth. Eren was reluctant to swallow but knew that Levi would be annoyed if he didn’t, since Levi always swallowed. Cum dripped down the sides of Eren’s mouth as he lifted himself up to once again sit beside Levi.

“That’s dirty. Get that shit off your face.” Levi said, eyeing the cum that had settled around Eren’s mouth. Eren was able to get most of it off just by licking it off with his tongue; he had to wipe a bit of it off with his fingers, though.

“Well, are you at least more relaxed now?” Eren asked.

“I won’t deny that it was a welcome release.”

“You tried to deny it.”

“Yes, I did.”

“Idiot.”

“Piece of shit.” Levi responded affectionately; they called each other names often for whatever reason. 

Eren pulled Levi into his lap (being careful not to disturb his leg too much) and Levi set his head back against Eren’s chest. They stayed motionless in that position for a while before Eren yawned, signifying that he was ready to go to sleep. Eren got to be the big spoon for once; Levi kept his head buried against Eren’s chest and Eren’s arms protectively held Levi to him as they fell asleep together.

-x-

The weekend came to a close all too quickly and suddenly it was Sunday afternoon; time for Eren to head home and catch up on schoolwork before Monday hit. Levi’s leg had been healing up nicely, although it would leave a scar. That was insignificant to Levi, however; it would only be one of many scars that laced his entire body. Often times when he and Eren would lie in bed together, Eren would trace his fingers gently over the array of scars etched across Levi’s skin. Levi realized that Eren had never mentioned the scars before he knew about Levi’s past; he wondered that kind of conclusions Eren had drawn about them before he knew their real source. He always forgot to ask, and eventually he just decided that it didn’t even matter.

Levi still faced cravings every now and then, as was normal for somebody who had possessed such heavy dependence on addictive substances. When Eren was around, he did his best to engage Levi in whatever they were doing so that his mind would be distracted. Depending on what time it was, Levi would call Eren to help distract him from the urges if Eren wasn’t physically there. Sunday evening brought a stronger urge than usual, and Eren spent a good portion of his evening on the phone with Levi despite having already spent the entire weekend with him.

Eren went to be relatively early that night, tired from the weekend. He had a nightmare that someone had been stalking him and then cornered him in his own apartment, killing him with a gun that was overly familiar; a gun Eren had set eyes on before.

Eren woke up to the sound of his alarm on Monday, unable to remember his nightmare but knowing that it had terrified him.

-x-

The next couple of weeks were typical; Eren attended all of his classes and Levi spent his days attempting to tie loose ends together in the quickest way possible. Thankfully, the only significant injury he had sustained was the shot to the leg; everything else was minor bruises, scratches, and cuts. The sense that somebody was watching Eren did not disappear, but Eren continued pushing it to the back of his mind. Weekends were spent with Levi and phone calls were made almost every night.

One Thursday in mid-October, Eren got up and attended class as usual. He went to the coffee shop during his lunch break and attended his two afternoon classes for the day. When his school day had met its completion, Eren walked his daily route for leaving campus and making his way home. 

He had passed the iron gates of T.U. and was on the sidewalk that led to his apartment building when everything seemed to happen all at once. He felt something strike his head forcefully and while it wasn’t enough to knock him unconscious, he was dazed and unable to react as he was dragged away by a pair of strong arms. Eren opened his mouth to scream for help, but the stranger was ahead of him. He removed one of his hands from Eren (making sure he kept a firm enough hold on Eren with only one had so that he couldn’t get away) and pressed it over Eren’s mouth. 

The stranger seemed to reconsider knocking Eren out, and Eren felt a crushing blow against his head before his world went black.

-x-

Eren woke up unable to move about freely. He was bound with rope to a chair, and there was duct tape covering his mouth so that he couldn’t scream. As he regained his bearings, he realized with a jolt that he was in the living room of Levi’s apartment. A man was standing in front of him and Eren recognized the face; it was the man who had tried killing him and Levi before, on the day of their breakup. Levi had let him escape because he had been afraid of scaring Eren more than he had already; what a regrettable decision that had turned out to be.

Levi wasn’t home yet, but he would most likely arrive at any time now. When footsteps could be heard coming from down the hall, the man stood beside Eren and pressed the muzzle of a gun up against his head.

The key turned in the door and Levi appeared. 

“Levi, Levi, Levi.” The man said, smiling slyly as a look of true horror took over Levi’s face as he took in the sight before him. His hand instantly flew to the handle of his gun and he raised it and took aim. 

“Now, now. You fire that gun and this little piece of shit here is dead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't think of anything to say about this chapter.


	20. Gunshot and Strategy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren is kidnapped by a man of Levi's past and they have to get themselves out of their predicament. Afterwards, they decide it's time to change strategy.

“Drop the gun or your little fuck-toy over here is dead.”

Levi froze; he needed to calculate his options and come up with a plan. Simply raising his gun and shooting wouldn’t be enough; the other man’s reflexes were quick enough to have time to shoot Eren with no problems if he did. Levi had a difficult time thinking clearly; seeing Eren in harm’s way in his very own apartment was too much for Levi. His apartment had been somewhat of a sanctuary for the two of them; a place where they could be together and generally felt the safest there. And in that moment, that sacred sanctuary had crumbled to nothing.

If Levi made on single mistake, one flawed move, Eren would be dead. After everything they had been through together. After every obstacle they had overcome, if the man managed to kill Eren it would all have been for nothing. Levi couldn’t bear to live in a world without Eren; he needed to make sure that both of them lived to see another day. Or, if one of them were fated to die that day, he prayed that it would be him and not Eren. 

It was difficult to think straight when your lover’s life was in imminent danger.

He couldn’t help but look to Eren; he expected to see terror in his eyes. What he found was a look of defiance and refusal to give up and let the man kill him; Levi could sense Eren’s trust in him to get them out of the situation. He had saved Eren’s life before, after all. But Eren looked like he was just as ready to fight as Levi should be.

Together, they could get through this. As long as the silently worked together, they would both make it out alive. Confidence flowed through Levi as he met Eren’s eyes.

Levi slowly released the gun from his hand and let it fall to the ground, praying that he wouldn’t regret the decision he had just made.

-x-

Eren had to fight. If he didn’t fight, he couldn’t win. He was terrified, yes. But he had depended on Levi too many times already, and he couldn’t let himself sit there obediently as Levi saved his ass. The man was out for blood but wasn’t necessarily strategic, and he had made a fatal flaw in binding Eren; his legs were still free to move about as they pleased.

He waited, biding his time silently as the man began to talk. He would make the man forget he was even there; he would wait until he was too immersed in taunting Levi for reactionary purposes to keep any focus on Eren.

The man was gleeful at the predicament he had placed Eren and Levi in and he said, “After all these years, after all of this waiting, I’ve finally found your weakness. To think that you of all people have become attached to a human being beside yourself. You’re trapped, Levi.”

“Yes, it’s amazing to think that I actually turned out to be a human.”

“No, you didn’t. There’s still blood on your hands; or maybe I should say, your shirt.”

Blood was scattered across the front of Levi’s shirt from the affairs he had been dealing with before he arrived at his apartment; the job had turned rather messy in the end. 

“People that get in the way of my goals need to go.”

Most people living in the boundaries of normal society would assume that underworld kills consisted of only constant gunfire and action; that wasn’t the case with most situations. Intimidation in the form of words was common among fights; there was often more talk than action for a majority of the skirmish. The aim was to break the enemy down before killing them and stealing everything they had. This case was no different; the man holding a gun to Eren’s head was in no rush to finish his business there despite how deeply he wanted revenge for the death of his group.

“And you call yourself human.”

“I can call myself whatever the fuck I want.”

Eren saw his opening. The man was too busy with his battle of words with Levi; his hand on the gun had gone slack. Without further ado, Eren thrashed his legs about as he repeatedly kicked the other man before he could catch his bearings and react. Although it only took a second for the man to regain composure, Eren had provided Levi with the chance he needed.

Levi had picked his gun back up off the ground as swiftly as he could manage and aimed it at the back of the man’s head. He only fired one round but two gunshots filled the room with sound; Eren cried out in pain as blood began pouring from his arm. The man had been aiming for Eren’s heart but due to Eren’s thrashing, had been thrown off enough to only hit Eren’s arm; which wouldn’t be a fatal wound. 

The man collapsed to the floor as blood pooled rapidly around his head; Levi, unlike the other man, had hit his target dead-on. Levi lowered the gun and ran straight to Eren’s side, gently grabbing his arm to see how bad the wound was. Lightning lit up the evening sky outside and a harsh crack of thunder shook the building as Eren yelped, pain shooting through his arm. The bullet had lodge itself in Eren’s arm and Levi knew immediately that he would have to get Eren to the emergency room. Levi made quick work of undoing the rope binding Eren to the chair. The other man’s body lay motionless beside Eren and Levi; Levi grabbed his phone from his pocket and called Erwin to have the mess taken care of while he took Eren to the hospital. Erwin called the hospital and made sure that his own hand-selected doctor would be the one to treat Eren; that would avoid the pesky questions regarding how the wound had been created in the first place. Eren had his eyes closed and his hand covered the wound; blood spread all over his hand as he did so. Levi muttered, “I’m so sorry” as he scooped Eren into his arms and hastened out of the apartment and into his car. The thunderstorm was still going strong and it had begun pouring; Levi and Eren both got drenched during their travel to the car.

Eren allowed himself to slip from consciousness to shield himself from the pain tearing through his arm. Several hours later, he would wake up in a hospital gown.

-x-

Levi sat in a waiting area of the hospital as he waited for the doctors to finish bandaging Eren up. He should be able to visit Eren’s room at any minute; removing the bullet and patching up the wound wouldn’t take too long since it hadn’t been lodged in too far. Levi could pretty accurately estimate the timeframes for taking care of any kind of wound; it was something you had no choice but to learn along the way as an underworld criminal.

He had spent his time sitting in the waiting room reflecting; he had been an idiot to not concern himself over tracking down that man in particular. He should have made him one of his first targets, since he was one of the few who knew Eren’s face. Why hadn’t he thought of it? Eren had gotten hurt because of his mistake. It could have been a lot worse; Eren could have very easily lost his life in that situation. But Eren had played just as much of a role in his own salvation as Levi had; Eren had given him the chance that he needed to land the killing shot.

He was angered with himself but he was proud of Eren; Eren had overcome his terror and fought back while even Levi was having difficulty formulating a plan. Eren’s plan had been ruthless and spur of the moment; it could have cost him his life just as easily as it had saved it. But Eren had trusted Levi enough to take that risk, and that meant the world to Levi.

During the last stretch of time before Levi would be allowed to go see Eren, Levi thought about what would happen from there. There was no doubt in his mind that the other man had spread news of Eren being the best way to catch Levi. They would have to approach life in a whole new different way from now on; Levi couldn’t let Eren be captured without his knowing again. The odds had been in their favor that day but the future may not be so kind to them. Levi was beginning the rough ideas of a plan to ensure Eren’s safety as a nurse approached him, saying he could go to Eren’s room now. The nurse led him down the hall and stopped at the very last door in that wing. 

Eren was sitting up and had been waiting eagerly for Levi; he grinned as Levi entered the room and strode over to Eren’s bed. A large white bandage encompassed Eren’s arm where the bullet had entered the skin. The nurse told Levi that he had subscribed Eren some painkillers to help deal with the pain once he went home; they wanted him to stay a couple more hours to make sure everything was okay but then he could go home with Levi. The nurse left Eren and Levi alone in the hospital room; she and Levi had already met several times before due to Erwin. Erwin had a specific set of doctors and nurses lined up just in case Levi ever needed them in order to avoid the scrutiny of the normal medics. Erwin’s medical staff was all fully aware of the crime ring of underworld society and never asked questions.

“How are you feeling?” Levi asked.

“It hurts like a bitch, but I’m happy to be alive to feel it. You and I make a good team, you know that? I mean, I couldn’t do a whole lot but it was still nice being able to fight side by side with you.” 

“Don’t get used to it, because it’s not happening again.” Levi scowled; he could admit that him and Eren would be unstoppable as a team since they had been able to read each other’s actions without speaking, but it was still dangerous to play those sorts of games.

“Come on, Levi. You know I’m too deep into your life to back away now.”

“I’ve come to that realization, yes. We’re going to have to change a lot now if you’re going to stay by my side, which I’m assuming you will judging by the look you’re giving me.” 

A hopeful fire burned brightly in the depths of Eren’s eyes; he had thought that Levi would try and push Eren away in order to protect him. He had considered that already, but he had come to realize that separation from Eren would ultimately be even more dangerous. There were few remaining enemies that Levi held in the underworld but any of them could track Eren and kill him at their will. If Levi was near Eren at all times while he wrapped up what he needed to, he could protect Eren.

“Of course I’m not leaving you. I’m not afraid of those fuckers; you’re smarter than all of them combined if they’re all like the man that tried to kill me.”

“Trust me, he’s one of the lesser intelligent ones. His emotions played too much of a part and his blind want for revenge caused him to make too many careless mistakes.”

“I love it when you talk like that.” Eren grinned slyly.

“Oi, shut up, Eren. How strong is the pain medicine they’re giving you, anyways? It’s going straight to your head. Better hope it doesn’t affect you when you have to take a shit; what a shitty situation that would be.” Levi could have laughed at his own pun; he was mildly disappointed when Eren just gave him a blank stare.

They sat in a horridly awkward silence for a few moments before Levi cleared his throat and moved on with the conversation.

“Are you coherent enough to hear my plan?”

“Of course.” Eren removed the grin from his face in favor of a more serious expression so that Levi would go on.

“I think it’d be in your best interest to move in with me in order to-” Levi was interrupted by Eren’s laughter.

“You just want me there so you can bang me every night.” 

“They put you under anesthesia, didn’t they? Which is probably why this took longer than I expected it would.”

“They said they didn’t want me feelin’ too much pain or something. So they stuck a needle in my arm and I fell asleep.” Eren said in a rather matter-of-fact tone. Apparently he did not handle anesthesia well. He would have to wait until later to tell Eren his plan.

The nurse came back into the room and after scanning Eren over determined that he was fine to go home. It was already about nine-thirty at night. As was customary for patients who had been put under anesthesia, Eren was put on a wheelchair and wheeled out to Levi’s car by the nurse. Levi opened the door to the passenger’s side of his Porsche and the nurse helped Eren inside while Levi walked around the car and climbed into the driver’s side. Levi thanked the nurse for her help and she nodded before closing the car door, leaving Levi and Eren to go back home. 

When they got home, Eren was sleepy and went straight to Levi’s bedroom. Levi sat on the bed beside him and watched TV as Eren napped for several hours; he stirred at about two-thirty a.m. Levi had fallen asleep sitting up and his mouth was open slightly. Eren watched his chest rise and fall steadily for several minutes before nudging him awake; he needed one of his painkillers and he didn’t know where Levi would have put them. Levi’s eyes opened begrudgingly and he looked about ready to kill someone when he realized that Eren was watching him with a slightly pained expression. 

“Could you go grab me a painkiller?” Eren asked.

“Yeah, sure.” Levi yawned and stretched before jumping off the bed and heading for the kitchen; he had just put the bottle of pills on the counter when they got home. The rain had started up again and Levi heard the steady drumming of the raindrops on the windows as he made his way back to the bedroom. He handed Eren the pill along with a glass of water and Eren popped the pill in his mouth, followed by a drink of the water. When Eren laid back down in the bed, he made the mistake of leaning on his injured arm and yelped when pain shot through his arm.

Sadness washed over Levi knowing that he was the reason for Eren’s injury. Eren hadn’t complained about it at all but he knew that Eren was in a lot of pain. At least the painkillers the hospital had provided were strong and minimalized the pain as much as they could. Eren tried to fall back asleep right away but he was wide awake.

“I hope you realize there’s no way in hell I’m getting my ass out of bed to go to class in the morning.” Eren had his back turned to Levi but looked back over at Levi.

“I didn’t expect you to. I’d have to take you, anyways, since your car isn’t here.”

Eren remembered that his car was sitting at home in the parking lot of his own apartment, and he shot right up when he realized that Mikasa had no clue what had happened to him. She had to be worried sick; she had probably called constantly since she had gotten home. His phone was still on silent from having it at school, so nobody had heard it ring.

“Fucking hell. Levi, where’s my phone?”

“I set it on the dresser. Why?”

“Mikasa.”

“…Shit.” 

Eren scrambled out of bed and grabbed the phone off the dresser with his good arm; thankfully his dominant arm was the uninjured one. Damn near thirty missed calls; he was a dead man walking. He dialed Mikasa’s number and hesitantly put his ear to the phone, afraid of the verbal rebuke he was sure to receive. 

“Eren Yeager. What in god’s name are you doing and where exactly the fuck are you?” Eren could feel Mikasa’s fury over the phone. “It’s a long story and I’ll let you know the details soon but right now you just need to know that I’m at Levi’s and I won’t be in class tomorrow.”

“You are not leaving me with just that shitty explanation.”

“Alright, well, you remember when Levi and I broke up? And it had started because a man that knew Levi came to try and kill him. Well, he came and found me right outside of T.U. and grabbed me and tried to use me to kill Levi.”

“Fucking hell; are you guys okay?” Mikasa sounded worried instead of angry; she was just concerned for Eren’s wellbeing. 

“We’re both fine. Levi took care of him, but my arm did get shot in the process. It’s fine though, I swear, it just hurts. I was at the hospital for several hours.”

“You got shot? Eren, jesus christ, don’t sound so casual about this shit.”

“Well, yeah, I did. But, like, I could have died so in retrospect this really isn’t bad.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay; that must have been brutal. I’m assuming Levi is taking good care of you?”

“Yeah, he is.”

“He better be. Well, I’m going to let you go now that I know you’re safe; some of us are actually waking up for class in the morning.”

“Fair enough. Bye, Mikasa. Love you.”

“Love you too. Goodnight and for the love of god stay safe.”

“Goodnight.”

Eren hung up the phone and crawled back into bed. He was careful not to put too much pressure on his arm as he curled up against Levi and fell asleep once again. 

-x-

When Eren woke up the next morning, the first thing he did was find his laptop bag (the man had tossed is aside when binding Eren to the chair) in the living room and e-mail his teachers that he wouldn’t be attending class that day. His arm was incredibly sore but he made sure not to draw attention to his pain once Levi woke up and joined him in the living room. Levi was wearing jeans and a dark green pullover sweatshirt. Eren was wearing a pair of plaid pajama pants and an old band t-shirt that he’d had since early high school. He had no intentions of changing out of his pajamas that day. It was a good thing that he would have Friday and the whole weekend to recover somewhat; there was no way he would have made it through a normal school day with his arm in the condition it was in.

“Good morning!” Eren said as Levi passed through to get to the kitchen; he needed to start a pot of coffee. Levi’s hair was a ruffled mess from sleep and Eren thought it was rather endearing. Levi looked so innocent when he was tired and trying to wake up in the mornings. 

“Mornin’.” Levi mumbled. He yawned as he got started on the coffee.

Once he had a mug filled to the brim with coffee to help wake him up, he sat down beside Eren on the couch and asked, “How’s your arm?”

“Still hurts like a bitch.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Technically, it is. It’s because of me you got kidnapped by that asshole in the first place.”

“You also saved my life, so it evens itself out.”

“Whatever.” Levi huffed as he downed a fair portion of the contents in his mug. 

After they both had a chance to fully wake up and once Eren had his morning painkiller, they settled down and started to talk through what would happen next.

“So, as I was telling you yesterday when you weren’t in much of a position to listen to me, I think the best way to go about business from here on out would be for you to move in here. Not only will that keep you closer to me at all times in case shit hits the fan, but Mikasa will also be safer since there’ll be no chance for her to be dragged into it if they track you down at your apartment.” “They” was Levi’s remaining adversaries in general.

“I agree. So, I’ll have to drive myself to school from here, then?”

“No; I’ll take you there myself. I’ll drop you off a fair distance away so that nobody sees you in my car. I’ll attend to my personal affairs while you’re at class and I’ll come back.”

“Isn’t that a little…much?” Eren asked; he understood that it was dangerous for Eren to be alone after what had happened yesterday, but still.

“Eren, you can’t even shoot a gun. If someone manages to get you while I’m not around, you’re screwed. You and I were lucky yesterday; we can’t count on luck to make it through.”

“Teach me how to shoot a gun, then.”

“Even if I do, I don’t want you to depend on it.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want you to have to kill anybody even if it’s in self-defense. I don’t want to you to have to wash the blood off your hands because it never truly comes off. I don’t want you to feel a crushing weight on your chest because your hand marked the end of another person’s life. You need to understand what exactly you’re getting yourself into, here. I know I seem overprotective; I’m just trying to make sure that once my ties to crime are cut that you’re alive to see it. This should only take a couple weeks longer, so it won’t be for long that we have to work like this.”

“I know what I’m getting myself into. Nothing is unmanageable if I’m with you.”

“So even if you witness me kill ten more people, you’ll be fine? If you end up having to shoot your gun for whatever reason, that’ll be okay?”

“Yes. I’m not backing out now just because I’m more involved. If I have to fight, if it’s alongside you, I’m happy.” Eren really was willing to put his entire life on hold for Levi’s sake.

“You’re way too willing to do anything for my sake. I’m not worth what you make me out to be.”

“Nonsense.” Eren said, leaning over and nuzzling Levi’s neck before planting a gentle kiss on his lips.

“So you’re for sure moving in for the remainder of my time here?”

Oh, Eren thought. He had forgotten that when all was said and done, Levi had every intention of packing up and leaving the state. That would be a joyous day for Levi; he would truly be starting his new life. But Eren couldn’t help but feel apprehension about it; what if Eren ended up just being considered a part of Levi’s past life that he couldn’t be bothered with once he started over? He didn’t want Levi to forget about him when he was no longer there in front of him every day. He had to trust Levi when he assured Eren that once he moved, nothing would change. But Eren knew there would always be that nagging thought that Levi moving away could be the end. Pushing the thought to the back of his mind, re replied.

“Yes. This weekend we’ll have to go and pick up the rest of my things and I’d prefer to explain the situation to Mikasa in person instead of over the phone.”

“That’s fine.”

“You’re going to actually teach me how to shoot a gun, right?”

“Yeah, I will. Once your arm heals up a bit I’ll take you out to a range and we can shoot all we want.”

“Thank you, Levi.” Eren smiled radiantly at Levi; he was looking forward to watching Levi’s near flawless skill in motion in a non-harmful setting. There he would be able appreciate the way Levi’s fingers easily slip around the gun and instinctually take aim at his target without thinking about Levi killing another human being. 

They spent the rest of the day on the couch, letting Eren rest and put as little strain on his arm as possible. Levi waited on him hand and foot, still feeling bad that Eren had gotten hurt. They decided that on Sunday they would go and get Eren’s stuff from his apartment.

They were finally approaching the home-stretch; Levi’s list of unfinished business was dwindling down and they would soon be freed from it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter turned out a lot happier than you guys were expecting.


	21. Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's battle with the underworld finally comes to a close.

“I’m moving in with Levi.”

“Excuse me?”

“Only for a couple of weeks or whatever. It’s not really safe for me to be far away from him anymore, not after what happened on Thursday.”

Mikasa sighed. “You never stop getting into trouble, do you? I was hoping that would get better with age. It got worse.” Her remark was dripping with sarcasm but still lighthearted.

“So you’re okay with me moving in with him?”

“Of course, if its purpose is to protect you. All I’ve ever wanted for you is to be safe and happy. And with Levi, you seem to be both.”

“Your opinion of him has changed a lot over the past year.”

“So has your happiness level, and that’s what matters.” 

It was true that Eren seemed the happiest he had ever been; the light in his eyes as he talked about Levi could not be mistaken. Levi could provide him with a blissful state of being that not even Mikasa and Armin could have ever dreamed to provide for Eren. And so Mikasa had no qualms about allowing Levi to protect Eren by having him live there. 

Mikasa continued what she was saying. “Although, why do you say only for a couple weeks?”

“Once he’s taken care of everything that he needs to, he’s moving. Probably the next state over.”

Mikasa knew immediately why he would do such a thing. “He’s starting over, then.” Mikasa felt a sense of unease as Eren’s expression shifted. Worry was evident on his face; he was probably having doubts about Levi living a few hours away. Mikasa didn’t dance around the subject and instead simply asked what she wished to know.

“Are you going to stay together once he’s moved away?”

“I hope so.” Eren didn’t offer any more on the subject; he would face the issue when it got there. For now, all he wanted was the solidarity of his remaining time with Levi, even if it would involve guns and bloodshed. Anything was worth it as long as Levi was in his life. Mikasa didn’t press him further; now was not the time for that.

“How’s your arm doing?”

“It’s painful but the painkillers are strong as shit, so not too bad.”

“Don’t take more than you’re supposed to, okay?”

“Yes, mother, I’m not dumb enough to get myself addicted to painkillers.”

“It’s a serious concern in this day and age. So be careful and take only the recommended dosage.”

“I will, my overprotective mommy. Now, I need to get my stuff packed up, if you’ll excuse me.”

Eren strode away from Mikasa before she could give any sort of response and entered the familiar room. As he dug around in the closet for a suitcase, he realized that his watch was still lying broken on the floor; a whispered memory of the pain both Eren and Levi had suffered just months before. He abandoned the hunt for a suitcase in favor of gathering up the broken watch and carefully collecting the tiny shards of glass that had fallen away from the timepiece. Once all of the pieces were gathered in the palm of his hand, he carried them over to his room’s garbage can and let them slip from his hand as he washed away the pain from the memory of throwing it at the wall in fury over breaking up with Levi. He then returned to his closet in pursuit of a suitcase (seriously, where had he put the goddamn thing?) with a new sense of serenity flowing through him.

It turned out that the suitcase was buried as deeply as it could possibly be underneath an assortment of Eren’s belongings. He dug it out and started packing up what he needed; he already had some clothes stowed away at Levi’s apartment but they wouldn’t last more than a couple of days. When he was satisfied with what he had chosen and had filled the suitcase to the brim, he returned to the living room. 

“Well, I’m just about ready to go.”

“Come here and give me a hug before you go. I’m going to miss you.” 

To Eren, leaving was bittersweet. But this was different than when Armin had left for his own college; at least he would be able to see Mikasa during school hours. They would be able to go out to lunch together even though they didn’t share any of the same classes. Even so, he would see Mikasa significantly less than he was accustomed to. Mikasa appeared to feel the same, and their embrace held a fair measure of melancholy. Once they broke away, they shared their goodbyes.

“I’ll see you at school, I guess. Be careful, Eren.”

“I will, don’t worry too much. I’m in good hands.” Eren picked the suitcase up from where he had dropped it onto the ground so that he could hug Mikasa and went through the kitchen and up to the door. He turned around and faced Mikasa one last time before leaving. “Love you, Mikasa.”

“Love you too.”

And with that, he opened the door and made his way back downstairs and out the door to where Levi was waiting in the car for him.

-x-

As Levi sat in the car and listened to the music playing on the radio while waiting for Eren to pack up his belongings, his phone rang. He had become rather weary in regards to phone calls; the only time they ever seemed to be positive was when Eren was on the other end of the line, which was doubtful in the current moment. He stared at the caller I.D. and was met with an unexpected surprise; it was Erwin. The two rarely talked when there was no pressing situation at hand, such as the dead man in Levi’s apartment when he needed to get Eren to the hospital. They could be considered friends, Levi supposed, but they felt no necessity in idle chat.

“Hello?” 

“Ah, Levi. I was curious if you would pick up or not. Are you busy right now?”

“Not really, why?”

“I just wanted to call you up and chat. It’s been awhile since we caught up.”

“Not once have you called me before just to chat. Cut the shit.” Levi replied shortly.

“Actually, I am, for the most part. But I think what you’re looking for in my speech is this: You’ve been causing quite the stir, did you know that? Been a bit of a headache, to be honest. Also, you never went into much detail over who this “Eren” that you needed so desperately to help, but given the nature of rumors flying around he must be a pretty important person to you.”

“I apologize for giving you a headache. I’m working as quickly as I can.”

“It’s nothing; you know that I’ve never minded helping you out. But I must ask, who is this “Eren” character? A good friend? Or a lover, perhaps?”

“I think you already know the answer to that question, Erwin.”

“Ah, I believe I do too. But I want to hear it from your own mouth.”

“Fine. Only for you. Eren is my boyfriend.”

“I never thought the day would come where I was blessed to hear such a statement coming from your mouth. Is there any chance I’ll get to meet him?”

“If you really want to, I have nothing against it. I’m going to be teaching him how to shoot so that he can defend himself if he ever needs to, at his request. Perhaps you could join us there for a while.”

“That would be wonderful. When are you going to go?”

“His arm is still causing him pain, but since time is rather short I’ll probably take him once he gets home one day this week. Tuesday or Wednesday would be my guess.”

“Fair enough. Just like me know, and I’ll be there. It’s been to long since we’ve seen each other and I’ll be honored to meet the one person you sound like you care about. Oh, one more thing. How’s staying clean going this time? I know it was no easy feat for you the first time.”

“Fine, I guess. I still think about it a lot but there’s really no helping that. At least Eren’s around to distract me from it, which helps a ton.”

“Glad to hear it. I’ll see you soon, Levi.”

“You too. Bye.” Levi ended the call and looked up to see Eren approaching, suitcase in hand. Eren opened the door to the backseat and threw the luggage inside before climbing into the passenger’s side.

“Would you mind terribly if we had company when we go out to the shooting range?”

“Company? Who?” Eren was perplexed as to who would wish to join them.

“Erwin called. He wants to meet you.”

“I’ve always been curious to meet him, actually, so that’s fine. But why does he want to meet me?”

“He knows that you’re my boyfriend.”

“Oh, I see.” Eren turned away; his face felt hot and he was afraid that Levi would take notice of the hint of pink that had spread throughout Eren’s cheeks. Levi wasn’t the type of person to use terms such as “boyfriend” and when he did Eren couldn’t handle it.

“Well, are you ready to go home?” Levi said, choosing to ignore Eren’s bashfulness.

“Yeah, let’s go.” 

And so they did.

-x-

Eren often wore t-shirts during his classes and wore a coat over them when he had to go outside during the fall and winter months, but he wanted to avoid the questions that were inevitable if he showed up to school with a giant bandage wrapped around his arm. So when Monday morning rolled around the next day, Eren put on one of the bigger sweatshirts that he owned, so that it would constantly be pressed up against the bandage. It was a black sweatshirt with a pair of white wings spread out on the back, and it had always been a size or two big for him (they hadn’t had his size in stock at the time and he really did want it) but he loved it regardless. 

Since it was only mid-October and winters were pretty mild where they lived anyways, Levi had yet to bring out his black trench coat for the year. He wore his favorite green sweatshirt that day; Eren noticed that he wore it at least once a week. It was almost sad no longer seeing Levi in business attire all the time, but he couldn’t deny that Levi looked great in normal, everyday clothes as well. 

Levi dropped Eren off a couple blocks away from the school, and Eren walked the rest of the way to campus by himself. Eren wondered where Levi would keep his car as he worked; he knew Levi operated mostly on foot, which was a pretty good strategy, Eren decided. Although he was pretty sure most of them chose that strategy; who would want their enemies to know their license plate information? 

Eren thought about Levi for the rest of his walk over to T.U. When he arrived in the room where his first class took place, he was confronted damn near immediately by Sasha and Connie. They were the only two people he knew in that class, so he always sat beside them. He always made sure to sit on Sasha’s side, since she always had food smuggled into the classroom and shared in most cases if he asked. 

“Hey, man, where were ya Friday? Mikasa didn’t say a whole lot.” Connie asked as soon as Eren was close enough to engage in conversation.

“What did she say?”

“That you didn’t feel well.”

“That was pretty much all it was, though. I felt like shit and didn’t feel like coming to class.”

“Well, I guess I can’t blame you for that. Like, if I have a stomachache I always try to skip class but Connie makes sure I come, anyways.”

“That’s because you would never come to school. Anyways, Eren, I hope you feel better. Would’ve been cool if there were more of a story to it than that, though, but I guess not everything can be super exciting.”

“Yeah, I’m feeling better. Sorry to disappoint with the story of it, though.”

“N’aw man, it’s chill. Glad you’re feeling better, bro.”

“Thanks.” They all sat down and got their laptops out, ready to sit through what would amount to a horridly boring lecture; the same as any typical school day. Sasha was munching on a small bag of doritos and offered Eren some, which he accepted without hesitation. The class dragged on but eventually passed, and Eren felt slightly worried about lingering around in the open while he awaited the arrival of his next class. A natural reaction, he supposed, considering what had happened on Thursday. But when he stepped outside, the sense that someone was watching him was no longer there, which helped to appease his worry. He found a bench to sit on and sat there by himself, taking in the fresh air and wondering what Levi was up to at the moment. He wondered if Levi had lifted his gun and taken aim with it at anybody yet today, or if he would have to at all. 

Eren tossed around the idea of texting Levi to see how he was doing, but Levi didn’t need an over-worried boyfriend doting over him. He was strong and he could manage himself just fine. When it was a quarter to eleven (which was when his next class began) Eren got up from the park bench and shivered; sitting in one place for so long in the cool autumn weather had chilled him. Once his next class was over, he would meet up with Mikasa at the gates and find somewhere to go for lunch. 

Mikasa was waiting for him when he finally made it to the gate, and she waved to catch his attention. He hurried up to her when he noticed the wave. 

“So, where do you want to go?” Mikasa asked when Eren had caught up with her. 

“That one burger joint nobody ever remembers the name of?”

“Eren, it’s literally called “Burger Joint”. I’ve told you that way too many times.”

“Well, whatever. Let’s go there.”

“Alright.”

They began in the direction of the little fast food place; it was literally just right across the street from campus so it only took them a couple minutes to get there. They both ordered standard burgers with fries and once they had their food they sat down in a booth with a window looking out into the street. 

“So, how’s life living somewhere else?”

“It’s only been twenty-four hours.”

“So?”

“I’ve already spent way longer than that there at a time.”

“Yeah, but now you’re there more permanently than before.”

“It’s no different.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. I swear, Mikasa. Speaking of living with people other than family, are you going to hunt down a boyfriend anytime soon?”

“I don’t know, love just doesn’t really interest me at all. I’d rather continue kicking ass at sports.”

“Love didn’t appeal to me either and look how that turned out.”

“True. Maybe I’ll accept some offers to go out; I’ll at least get a bunch of free meals out of it.”

“Nice motive.”

“Of course. I still just can’t get over that fact that you have found somebody for you. I didn’t think you ever would, with that bull-headed stubbornness of yours.”

“Hey, Jean has a boyfriend, too.”

“Alright, I’ll give you that.”

Their idle chat continued on until they had both finished their food, disposed of their trash, and were on their way back to campus. When they were about to pass the coffee shop, Eren told Mikasa he wanted to stop there, so they both stepped inside the cozy little shop. It was Mikasa’s first time there; she looked around and decided it was actually quite the cute little place. The line was as long as it always was, since it was close to campus and known for its good coffee and decent variety. 

“This coffee better live up to my expectations for it considering you came here daily for so long.”

“How did you even figure that out? Because I’m pretty sure I never told you.”

“Annie told me. We often talked during parties when you were too drunk to remember anything or have any sort of inclination as to what was happening around you.”

“That’s not surprising, actually.”

“It shouldn’t be, you acted like a complete idiot during those parties.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

Annie was working, so she was the one to take their orders when they were finally the next people in line.

“Hi, guys. What do you each want?” 

They both ordered espressos and waited to the side of the counter for them to be ready. They would have chatted with Annie but she had her hands full with customers, so they continued talking amongst themselves. After about five minutes, Annie called their names and they grabbed the coffee. 

“Do you want to sit down or just bring it with us?” Eren asked.

“We can just bring it with us, I guess.”

After Eren’s afternoon Biology session, he walked to the spot where Levi had dropped him off earlier. Levi’s Porsche was parked alongside the road, awaiting Eren. When Eren got in the car he noticed that Levi looked tired; he wondered if that’s what he always looked like at the end of the day lately. 

“How’d it go?” Eren asked once he was buckled in. 

“Fine. Managed to keep my clothing fairly clean, which is always a decent accomplishment.”

“So people gave you trouble, then?”

“Of course. It’s a never-ending stream of them; they never catch on that nobody has managed to kill me yet for a reason. Christ.”

“Well, at least that won’t go on much longer. Oh, hey, when are we going out to a shooting range?”

“If your arm is doing well enough, tomorrow. Since your dominant arm is the uninjured one, you should be fine.”

“Yeah, I’ll be good. I’ll make sure I take one of my pills before then.” Eren replied. He was looking out the window of the car right then, so he didn’t see the suspicion in Levi’s eyes at his reply. They drove a majority of the way home in silence.

Once inside, Levi threw his phone and wallet on the counter and announced, “I’m going to go take a shower; I feel filthy.”

Eren said “okay” and settled on the comfortable black couch with his laptop, deciding it best to get some of his work done before Levi came back out so that he would be able to spend some time with him, instead of doing homework for the rest of the night. Levi’s apartment felt like home just as much as the apartment that he shared with Mikasa did. Eren looked at the clock on his laptop to discover that Levi had already been in the bathroom for half an hour; he did typically take lengthier showers than most guys that Eren knew but still, it was long even for him.

Five minutes later, the bathroom door opened and Levi appeared with a towel wrapped around his small waist. 

“It took you that long and you’re not even dressed yet.” Eren’s tone was snarky as he watched little droplet of water fall from Levi’s still-dripping hair. His friends could make fun of the idea of anyone possibly wanting to fuck Levi all they wanted; they hadn’t seen him with nothing but a towel and with dripping wet hair.

“Showers are relaxing. Sometimes it’s nice to just stand under the falling water, it has a calming effect.” Levi replied as he went into the bedroom so that he could put some clothes on; grey pajama pants and a navy-blue t-shirt was what he was wearing when he reappeared in the living room. 

“I liked the other outfit better.”

“Shut up or I’m kicking you out.”

"Harsh as ever, I see.”

Levi rolled his eyes and grabbed his phone from the counter and dialed Erwin’s number.

“Hello, Levi! I hope your evening is well.” Erwin was generally much more charming and enthusiastic than Levi was, and nobody could deny that.

“It is, thanks. I just wanted to let you know that Eren and I are going to the range tomorrow; the one that we used to go to back in the day when you wanted me to help some of the new officers practice their shooting skills.”

“What time are you thinking?”

“Six o’ clock?”

“Morning or evening?”

“Eren has class, so evening.”

“…Class?”

“Don’t ask questions, you’ll see when we’re there. See you there, then?”

“Yep, unless somebody needs me desperately, I’ll be there for at least an hour or two.”

“Sounds good. See you then.”

“Bye, Levi!”

The phone was returned to the counter and Eren glanced up at Levi from his position on the couch. 

“He knows I’m still in college, right?”

“Only if anyone else told him, which is always probable given exactly how much that man can find out in a day. He likes to sound perplexed over facts that he already is fully aware of. Just one of his quirks when it comes to talking to me, since he knows it irritates the ever-loving shit out of me.”

They slept cuddled in each other’s arms like usual, which was one of Eren’s favorite parts of living with Levi. But it made the process of summoning the will to roll out of bed in the morning much more difficult, and it had never been an easy task as it was. He was irritated at the arrival of morning and mumbled to himself about how bullshit it was that he had to get up as he disentangled his limbs from Levi’s in order to get ready for school. 

-x-

Around five-fifteen that afternoon, Levi and Eren set off for the shooting range that Levi had apparently been to on many occasions. It took forty-five minutes to get there by car and it was almost exactly six ‘o clock when they pulled into the parking lot. A police car was already sitting in the parking lot; Erwin had beaten them there. Once out of the car, Eren watched as a tall, built blonde man opened the door to the police car and gracefully got up. He waved as soon as he caught site of Levi, who by now was standing outside as well. Eren circled the car until he was standing side by side with Levi; their height difference was well enunciated. Eren may have been significantly taller than Levi, but Erwin himself was quite a bit taller than Eren was, and seeing Erwin next to Levi was almost comical. He probably would have laughed if he didn’t think Levi would kick his ass as a response.

Erwin gave Eren a smile as he outstretched his arm to offer Eren a handshake as he got close enough to the couple. Eren accepted it, and as they shook hands Erwin said, “It’s nice to meet you, Eren, I’ve been looking forward to this.”

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Eren replied. Erwin turned to Levi.

“Ah, Levi, nice to see you again. You look as amused with life as ever; I was hoping have a significant other would change that, but I guess you can never wish for the impossible.”

“Oi, shut up, nice to see you too or whatever. Let’s go get started, no use in staying out here.” 

Erwin and Eren exchanged a knowing glance as Levi immediately took off for the building; they had both lived through plenty of Levi’s attitude. They let Levi stay ahead of them, and Erwin struck conversation with Eren. 

“I’ll be honest with you, Eren, you’re the last type of person I expected to see Levi with. How did you break through to him? His barriers are pretty much impenetrable.”

“I was determined to get to know him, because he seemed like an interesting person. I didn’t think things would work out the way they did, but I’m happy with the results.”

“I bet. It’s nice that Levi found someone to care about; he’s fine with being alone but I know that even he got lonely at times. Kudos to you for putting up with his shit, in any case.”

“Not just putting up with his shit, putting up with his shit jokes.”

“Don’t tell me he’s told those kinds of jokes more than once. He told me one a few years ago and I prayed it were a one-time occurrence.”

“It wasn’t. He told me one the other day.”

“May god help us all.”

“Definitely.”

Levi was already at the door to the building, and he leaned against the outside wall with his arms crossed and impatiently tapping his foot against the ground.

“If you guys moved any slower, you’d be standing still.”

"Oh, come on, we were just having a nice chat.” Erwin said earnestly as they caught up with Levi and went into the building together. Erwin did the talking, and they made their way to an area with different booths. There were ten different stations in their room, but Erwin had reserved it for just them at Levi’s request; he preferred that nobody else be around while teaching Eren. 

Levi and Erwin both had their own guns with them, but Eren had to borrow one from Erwin since he didn’t have his own. 

“Alright, Eren, before I help you try and shoot that, I want you to watch me a few times.” Levi said, trusty black pistol in his hand. 

In one swift motion, Levi lifted the gun and aimed it at one of the targets set in the individual booths. Levi was skilled enough to shoot with only one arm, but for Eren’s sake, he placed both of his hands on the gun. Eren barely had time to register the sight of Levi taking aim before a shot rang through the room; since Eren had been given earplugs it wasn’t too bad, especially since he had already heard multiple gunshots without earplugs before. 

The bullet had landed right on the bull’s-eye.

Levi took a couple more shots before backing away from the shooting area.

“Alright, then. Now it’s your turn to try.” 

Eren was nervous to try after witnessing Levi’s flawless shooting; there was a chance he’d have natural talent, but since he was average at everything else, he doubted it.

“Do you know how to take a good stance? I suppose you wouldn’t.” Levi answered his own question as he stood beside Eren. He directed Eren in how far apart to keep his legs, how to brace himself properly, and how to position his arms with the gun set between both hands. When he was satisfied with Eren’s stance, he told him, “Okay, now pull the trigger. Aim right at the target.” 

Eren’s shot landed on the outer rings of the target, but it still made it on the target, which was better than a lot of people Levi had seen who had taken their first shot. 

“Not bad. But your stance shifted slightly and your aim was a bit off, otherwise you probably would have hit the bull’s-eye.” Levi stepped closer to Eren and took hold of both of his arms. 

“Like this. You want to brace your arms a bit more so that the aim stays in effect even after the shot is fired. Don’t be afraid of holding the gun, Eren, if you don’t hold it firmly, you won’t have nearly as much accuracy.” Levi continued explaining different aspects to Eren as he kept a grip on Eren’s arms. Levi stood on his tiptoes so that his head could be right up by Eren’s as he told Eren, “Okay, now I want you to shoot the gun while I’m still holding onto you, so that you know exactly how I want you to do it.”

He made the final adjustments to Eren’s position and then said, “Alright, pull the trigger.”

The shot landed right on the bull’s-eye, and Eren shouted happily, “I did it!”

“Not so fast; celebrate once you hit it on your own, without my help.”

Erwin stayed back and watched as Levi hovered over Eren, making sure he was doing what Levi had shown him and having him take a couple more shots. They got progressively closer to the bull’s-eye until four shots later, the bull’s-eye was hit without Levi’s assistance. 

“Hell yeah!” Eren shouted, grinning broadly at Levi. “And that time it was all on my own, too.”

“Good job. You’re already a lot better with a gun than half of the idiots out there, so I don’t have many worries that you’ll be able to protect yourself.”

“But I don’t have my own gun.”

“I can fix that. I’ll go talk to an employee and convince them to part with one of their guns. Does that one work fine for you?” Erwin chimed in.

“Yeah, this one feels fine. Thank you so much, sir.” Eren replied.

“Alright, I’ll make sure you get one similar to that one. I’ll go do that now.” Erwin exited, leaving Eren and Levi alone in the room.

Levi was the first to speak. “You’re actually pretty good at this.” 

“That means a lot to me, coming from you.” The reply was honest; empty compliments were not a part of Levi’s personality. 

“I still hope you never have to use it.”

“With you around, I doubt I will. But I just wanted to know how, just in case.”

“How’s your arm feeling, by the way?”

“It’s fine, no worries there.”

“Good.”

Erwin came back after about fifteen minutes, holding a black gun that was indeed similar to the one that Eren still gripped in his hand.

“Here you go; it’s all yours.” Erwin said as he traded guns with Eren.

“Thank you so much!”

“No problem. Anything for Levi’s boyfriend, right?” He shot a cocky look at Levi, who just narrowed his eyes at him. 

“I suppose I’ll thank you as well, since you were under no obligation to do that. I could have gotten him a gun myself.”

“Have you looked at the gun market lately? They’re expensive as hell, and besides, they didn’t make me pay for this one.” Levi knew what Erwin was conveying with that statement; they both knew his bank account wasn’t what it once was, especially since he was currently jobless. Erwin hadn’t wanted Levi to feel bad, however, so he made sure to add in that the gun hadn’t cost him a dime. 

Levi talked with Erwin as Eren took some time to practice with the gun that was now his own.

“He cares a lot about you; I can tell.” Erwin told Levi. 

“He does. I don’t deserve him, really.”

“Don’t lie to yourself, he’s perfect for you. You two work so easily together in a way that’s rare among lovers these days.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

“So, why didn’t you tell me you were gay years ago?”

“Because it didn’t really matter?”

“Still, it would have been nice to know, then I wouldn’t have tried to set you up with Hanji.”

“Hey, Hanji will always be one of my best friends, so it worked out fine. And besides, she loves Mike to death.”

“They’re perfect for each other, too.”

“I can’t argue with that. They’re both insane.”

After another half-hour, Eren lowered his arms and turned to face Erwin and Levi. 

“I think that’s enough practice, my arm’s getting sore.”

“Alright, let’s get going, then.” Levi replied.  
Erwin said goodbye to Eren and Levi, providing Eren with another handshake (and one for Levi this time, too) before heading back to the police car parked out front. It was about seven-thirty already. Eren’s stomach growled; it had been hours since he had last eaten something. 

Levi heard the noise. “Want to stop and get something on the way home? If you promise to be careful, I’ll even let you eat in the car. But if you make a mess, you’re cleaning that whole seat before you do anything else at home.” 

“I wouldn’t expect anything less. But yeah, that’d be great.”

“You’re getting McDonalds, since that’s closest and directly on our route.”

“Sweet.” 

Fifteen minutes later, and Eren was happily munching away at a big mac and large order of fries. Levi didn’t get anything for himself, since he wasn’t all that hungry. In the end, Eren made enough of a mess for Levi to consider the passenger’s side unclean, but Eren claimed his arm was giving him pain, so Levi took pity on him and didn’t make him clean the seat. Once back inside, Eren took one of his painkillers. 

-x-

The remaining people on the list of Levi’s adversaries were all criminals who were largely known to operate only at night. Eren accompanied him on these hunts, since classes were long over by the time Levi’s job began for the day. Eren most typically stood back and let Levi do his thing, watching as his opponent would begin the fight with some snarky comment about getting to be the one to cause Levi’s downfall. Once they actually posed a threat to Levi’s life, Levi would defensively raise his gun and strike before the other person could. Eren would no longer describe Levi as a monster when he took the life of yet another criminal; in a grotesque way, his grace and precision was almost beautiful to witness.

A week and a half later, and there were only two people left on Levi’s list; and they were two criminals who stuck together at all times. They had been around for quite some time and were strategically more intelligent than a lot of them; their drug intake was less than most and so their coherency was much more apparent. It was Eren who thought of the idea to reel them in with himself as bait; they were undoubtedly aware that Eren existed and that he would be the best way to get to Levi. Levi would wait nearby as Eren wandered around their common territory all alone, gun hidden in the waistband of his pants and better disguised with a baggy sweatshirt that hung down low on Eren. From there, Levi would get a fair shot at them without endangering Eren too much (they hoped). The two criminals were ones Levi didn’t want to fuck around with for too long; too smart to play games with for an extended period of time.

They had taken the bait without fail; luck had been in favor of Eren and Levi. Levi shot them from behind after sneaking up to them when they were absorbed in making a grab at Eren. Blood splattered from both bodies and both Eren and Levi had blood on them. Levi took a cloth from his pocket and wiped off the muzzle of his gun along with his hands, daintily removing the blood from them. 

Eren yelled out in triumph. “It’s over!”

“That it is.” Levi could hardly believe it; it seemed unreal. Almost too easy. But that really was it; the death of those two marked the fall of the only remaining criminals that were out to get Levi. It was dark outside; night had fallen. The moon shone brightly in the sky; it was a cloudless night. Inhaling the late-October air, he breathed a sigh of intense relief.

He had done it. 

He and Eren were alive.

He was released from the shackles that chained him to the Underworld. 

He would never need to use his trusty black pistol again, god willing. 

He could move away and start over with a new job, house (well, probably still an apartment), and life. 

As long as Eren was willing to stay with him despite the distance, his life could truly be happy. 

Levi was caught off-guard and stumbled back slightly when he felt Eren’s body against him, holding him tightly in his arms. Eren sounded like he was on the verge of tears when he spoke.

“It’s all over. We made it. You made it. You’re free, Levi! You’re free.” 

Eren was right. After everything, Levi was free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of this chapter marks the beginning of the final part/arc in this story, so be prepared for that.


	22. Bliss and Longing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into Eren and Levi's life together when Levi lives in his new place.

Levi’s new apartment wasn’t as lavish or expensive as the one he’d had before, but he kept most of his old furniture and the new place gave off the same vibe as the old one. It was still a higher-end apartment; Erwin had helped him out in paying the rent so that he could live in a nice place. Levi had been reluctant to accept Erwin’s aid but Erwin had managed to coax him into agreeing with it. 

The city Levi now lived in was much bigger than the city that hosted T.U. Finding a job had not proven to be an issue, and he obtained one in less than a month from the time that he moved there. He had found an office-job at a well-known shoe company’s corporate office; a place where he would be able to climb his way up the ladder and if he stayed there, he could end up making quite the significant sum of money. He had been called for an interview and they hired him on the spot, which was convenient. When he got home from his interview, it was still early in the afternoon and Eren would be in the middle of class. He wanted to call him, but due to the time he had to settle on a text asking for Eren to call him as soon as he could. 

Eren had read the text when he was walking home from T.U., and called Levi back before he were even back within the walls of his own apartment. The news had put a spring into Eren’s step as he replied to Levi’s message with an enthusiastic, “That’s great!” A middle-aged woman walking on the other side of the sidewalk shot him a curious glance, and Eren had grinned at her sheepishly as he passed her by. Levi sounded genuinely happy on the other end of the receiver, and for a moment Eren was able to forget how intensely he missed having him around. It often felt like a part of his very own soul was missing since he had moved back in with Mikasa.

Mikasa had been overjoyed to have Eren as a roommate again, even though he had only spent about three weeks living with Levi. Eren was glad that Mikasa was happy, but in truth he was met with a crushing sense of melancholy upon arrival back at his own apartment. The city Levi had chosen was one state over and was about a four hour drive away, which meant Eren would seldom be able to visit. There was the holidays and summer vacation, but that just wasn’t enough to satiate Eren’s craving for Levi. Levi felt the same, and they decided that Eren would visit for one weekend a month as long as it was realistically an option; which, unless something significant happen, it was. Four hours was a pain in the ass but Eren didn’t mind one bit. The idea had been Levi’s, which had pleased Eren greatly; he was still struggling with worry about being forgotten when Levi was surrounded with his new life. It was childish to believe that Levi could so easily set him aside, but he couldn’t help worrying himself over it.

-x-

Phone calls were a nightly occurrence between Eren and Levi, similarly to before when Levi was still wrapping up unfinished business. Eren always told Levi that he missed him and Levi assured him that the feeling was mutual. During one of their first phone conversations post-move, Levi caught Eren off-guard by asking if Eren had stopped taking the painkillers for his arm yet. Eren hadn’t been expecting the question and sputtered out that no, he wasn’t. He didn’t mean to lie to Levi, it just came out, and he wasn’t about to kill the mood by correcting his misstep in the conversation. Eren couldn’t blame Levi for his concern; he just wanted to make sure Eren didn’t develop any sort of dependence on them. 

-x-

Levi was still haunted by urges to get high, despite his new environment. He had been clean for months now and he had never felt better, but there was no helping cravings when they called. Eren’s most distinct memory of Levi’s mind being tormented by his past drug use was one night when Eren was woken up by his phone ringing at three in the morning. 

Levi had had a nightmare in which he had overdosed on heroin and had to go through detox again; he had almost killed himself just like before but this time Eren had left him instead of helping him back on his feet. The feeling of the high and the emotional trauma caused by Eren walking out of his life had been ridiculously realistic; when Levi woke up drenched in sweat he still couldn’t tell that it had just been a nightmare, and had called Eren to make sure that Eren was still in his life. Eren picked up the phone with a groggy, “Hello? Levi?” and anyone standing in the room would have been able to hear Levi’s exhale of relief. His voice shook as he explained the nightmare and how it had felt like reality, and Eren felt a sharp pain in his heart hearing Levi sound so terrified. 

Eren talked to him for a half hour after that, trying to soothe him and help convince him that everything was okay, that Levi was clean of drugs and had been for a while now, and that Eren wasn’t going anywhere. Eren didn’t stop talking until he knew that Levi had fallen asleep to the sound of his voice. 

-x-

Eren resumed spending his Friday nights at parties, but he never drank enough to get wasted like he had when he used to go to them for the purpose of trying (and failing miserably) to get over the breakup with Levi. His friends had questioned him on more than one occasion about what he had been doing on Friday nights before; Mikasa helped him to dodge the topic. As it would turn out in the future, Eren’s friends would never know that he and Levi were together. 

The end of November rolled around which meant that Eren’s first visit to Levi’s new apartment was going to happen soon. On Monday, he told his friends that he’d be skipping the Friday night party. On Tuesday, Eren’s call to Levi was almost entirely dedicated to conveying his excitement over finally getting to see him again. Wednesday brought longing to feel Levi’s body pressed against his and the necessity to relieve himself alone in his room that evening. Thursday brought distraction during school and anticipation for the next day. Friday brought overwhelming excitement and four ‘o clock just couldn’t come fast enough. Even if he left right at four (his class didn’t end until three-thirty and he still needed to walk home and fetch his car and fill up his gas tank for the trip) he still wouldn’t arrive until eight ‘o clock at the earliest. 

He set the paper that held Levi’s directions to his apartment in the passenger’s seat and after stopping at a gas station was able to begin the trek to see his lover after a month apart. He called Levi when he was twenty minutes away and his impatience grew until he turned into the parking lot of an apartment complex that was nicer than Eren had expected it would be (the way Levi talked, Eren had been half-expecting a shit hole of a place). 

He knocked on the door that Levi had said was his and as soon as the door was opening, Eren was all over Levi, sloppily pressing his lips up against Levi’s and hugging Levi’s body to his in an iron grip. The kiss was passionate and held a month’s worth of longing. After a long moment, they reluctantly pulled their mouths away from each other, a trail of saliva between their lips keeping them connected. They remained pressed up against each other as Levi said, “It’s nice to see you, too.”

Eren buried his face in Levi’s hair, breathing in the sweet scent. “I missed you so, so much.” He murmured, and Levi’s arms wrapping even tighter around Eren were an indicator that Levi heard him despite how quietly Eren had said it. Levi stood on his toes and tugged on the front of Eren’s shirt so that Eren would look at him. When he did, Levi pressed his lips tenderly up against Eren’s; this kiss was much gentler than the previous one. When they were finally ready to pull themselves apart, Levi gave Eren a tour of the place. The abundance of old furniture made it a comfortably familiar place for Eren even though he had never been there. The layout through him off, though, since it was quite a bit different than the old place. 

Levi left the bedroom for last, knowing what would happen as soon as they stepped foot inside. His guess was spot-on; Eren made no effort to tone down his screams as they both hungrily ravished each other that night. That sex was desperate and needy; exactly what both of them had needed. The neighbors had heard Eren, rolling their eyes as they turned up the volume on their televisions. 

On Saturday morning, Eren was the first to stir. Sunlight filtered the room through the cracks in the blinds; the way the light hit Levi’s face was beautiful and Eren stroked Levi’s sleeping face before getting up; he had to pee, he wasn’t inclined to actually get up for good and face they day yet. When Eren reentered the room and crawled back into the soft, warm bed (on top of sheets that still held the evidence of last night’s activities), Levi stirred. His eyes slowly opened and Eren smiled as Levi yawned, still tired. Levi didn’t feel like going back to sleep, though, so instead he lifted his head up so that he could give Eren a good-morning kiss. Slow and tender was that kiss, until Eren’s greed rose and he nipped at Levi’s lip as a request for entrance. Levi obliged, letting Eren slip his tongue into his mouth to explore. He returned the kiss, and their tongues battled for dominance. 

Eren pressed his body up against Levi’s until they were as close as they could manage from their own respective positions on the bed. Eren’s mouth wandered from Levi’s and moved over to his neck, where he lazily took a patch of skin between his lips and sucked. He playfully flicked his tongue over where he had left his mark on Levi; Levi leaned further into him. Levi ran his fingers lightly along Eren’s body, causing him to shiver and distract him slightly from his own actions towards Levi. Levi’s hand reached his thighs, and he took his time in massaging them, inching closer and closer to Eren’s groin that was beginning to ache with need. Levi lazily stroked Eren’s length, taking his sweet time running his fingers along it. Eren moaned and rubbed himself against Levi’s hand in an effort to receive more friction than Levi was providing. 

Levi kept a slow pace as he stroked Eren up and down, wiping his finger over the pre-cum that had appeared at the head and then returning to his strokes. Eren grinded against his hand and muttered, “Faster.” 

Eventually, Levi did speed up his pace and Eren sighed in lazy morning bliss and let out a small “Aah.” as he came over Levi’s hand. He nestled his face into Levi’s chest and asked if they could stay in bed longer; it was only nine ‘o clock. Levi ran his fingers through Eren’s hair and told him that he was fine with staying in bed for a few hours yet, and they both fell back asleep in each other’s arms.

They woke up again around noon and took a shower together before getting dressed and coming up with a game plan for the day. They went on a walk despite the cold November temperatures; Levi’s black trench coat was back for the year and Eren’s generic grey jacket made its appearance, too. The city was large and was used to the site of members of the same gender holding hands, so as they made their way through the city nobody cast a second glance at them. Store windows had begun to boast of their fantastic Christmas sales and promised to possess the best presents for any member of the family. Christmas lights would soon be strung all over the city and Christmas carols would fill the air with cheery song and merry wishes. It wasn’t December yet, but the city wasted no time in announcing the holiday season to its inhabitants.  
They stopped at a cozy looking café and sat together, sipping on coffee and using the heated cups to warm up their chilled hands. 

“I made reservations for dinner at six; I hope that’s okay with you.”

Levi’s office job paid nicely enough for Levi to once again be able to take Eren on nice dates. There would be no more Le Bernadin dinner dates, since that was three and a half hours away (Since it was thirty minutes from Eren’s apartment), but there was a plethora of fine dining options to choose from in Levi’s new city. He had selected Shula’s Steak House, a promising looking restaurant in the heart of the city. He’d heard good things about it from his coworkers and several of them had recommended it when he asked around for the better places to eat there.

“Sounds great to me.” 

“Good, then.”

Once they were back outside, they turned back the way that they came from in favor of going back to Levi’s apartment for a few hours before their dinner reservations. Levi held a lit cigarette in one hand and Eren’s hand in the other. Smoke swirled around him in thin streams as he and Eren conversed. 

-x-

At six o’ clock, the couple was seated at a dark mahogany table set with a pretty centerpiece and sets of dinnerware for two people. The waiter was overly enthusiastic in an endearing sort of way and Eren decided that he was a good waiter; he reminded him slightly of Hanji. They both ordered steaks and Levi ordered a glass of red wine; Eren would have gotten some too if he were old enough. Levi let him drink from his glass, though, which was nice. The food lived up to its high expectations and Eren reminisced the first time he had gotten to eat such delicious food; when Levi had taken him to Le Bernadin on their first date over a year ago. Le Bernadin would always hold a special place in Eren’s heart, but he would be more than willing to return to Shula’s. Their waiter stopped by a couple of times to ask how the food was and ask if they needed anything, and made small talk with them for a bit before moving on to his next table. Once the bill was paid, Levi grabbed Eren’s hand and led them back to the black Porsche. 

The rest of the weekend sped by way too fast, and at three ‘o clock on Sunday afternoon, Eren grudgingly gathered his belongings in preparation to go back home. Eren had brought the little round bottle of painkillers with him in case he felt the need for any over the weekend (they were leftover from the gunshot wound on his arm). They relaxed him, and he couldn’t find anything wrong with taking one to relax every now and then. He’d had no intention of letting Levi know that he kept them around after the surgery to mend his arm. But when he picked up his bag from the floor so that he could set it on the bag to repack it, the small orange bottle fell out and clattered to the ground. Levi had been sitting on the bed when it happened and the falling object had caught his eye; he got up immediately when he realized what it had been. Eren scrambled to fetch the bottle before Levi could, but Levi had been too fast. He snatched the bottle out of Eren’s fingers and turned it over in his hand before shaking it, listening to the pills clatter about within the confines of the orange cylinder. 

Levi’s voice was terrifyingly calm as he said, “I do believe that on the phone a few weeks ago you said that you had stopped taking these, which would generally imply that they be sitting in the back of a medicine cabinet by now and not in your bag, which has immediate availability.” 

“I…my arm was giving me troubles again.”

“Bullshit. You have a pain tolerance higher than a lot of people have.”

“No, really, I just took one the other day because it ached.”

“You’re lying to me. I can see it in your eyes. After literally everything we’ve gone through together, you’d lie to me so easily?”

“No, I wouldn’t, I just…” Eren trailed off, tearing his gaze away from Levi; keeping eye contact was too painful.

“I can’t believe you. You know I was concerned about this happening.”

“I know.”

“Do you? Because I don’t think you do. Do you even realize exactly how much you’re hurting me right now? You watched me go through absolute hell because of drug dependency. You watched me vomit all over myself and you still receive phone calls from me that happen for the sole purpose of talking me out of a craving. And then you go and do something so fucking idiotic?”

“You’re overreacting, Levi, I don’t have a dependency on those things.”

“That’s what everyone says! Everyone says they can control what they do but before they know it that addiction controls them. It consumes you, Eren. It tears you up until you can’t take it anymore. It takes over your whole life…and…” Levi fell to his knees; his concern for Eren’s wellbeing mixed with his own experience battling addiction put too much emotional strain on him. Even if Eren wasn’t addicted to the pills yet he was certainly on his way. Levi had seen the hunger in Eren’s eyes, seen the resentment when Levi got ahold of the bottle. And he couldn’t bear it if Eren went through any of the shit that he had. He didn’t realize he was crying until Eren’s finger was wiping a tear away from his eye. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, oh god, Levi, I’m so sorry.” Eren apologized countless times as he gathered the smaller body into his arms and rocked back and forth on the floor.

“Don’t take those pills anymore, Eren. Quite while you can still live without them. Do what I didn’t and keep a grip on yourself. For me. Please.” Levi’s voice was trembling as he spoke.

“I promise, I won’t, I don’t know what I was thinking, I should have thought of you…” Eren continued on, feeling extremely guilty for having caused Levi such agony; his recovery from addiction had been brutal enough as it was.

“I’m so, so sorry, Levi.” 

“It’s fine, alright? Just…don’t ever pull shit like that again, alright? I couldn’t live if something happened to you, especially in that kind of way.”

“I promise you, I won’t. Please forgive me.”

“I promise.”

Eren allowed Levi to toss the bottle in the trash, attempting to keep from feeling too resentful over the pills being taken away. It was for the better that the bottle had fallen to the ground; who knows what could have happened if it didn’t? Perhaps the answer was better left untouched. 

Eren resumed packing up his belongings as Levi watched from the spot on the bed that he had returned to. When Eren was ready to go, he got back up and escorted him to the door. With one last embrace and passionate kiss, Eren was left to say goodbye to his lover for another month. Eren apologized again for his own stupidity, and Levi said that he was just glad that he had been able to stop Eren from developing much dependence on the painkillers.

Saying goodbye was full of sorrow for the two of them, but after this weekend they both knew that they could live with the distance, because the time they did get together was well-worth it. They had developed a bond that could withhold anything life threw at it. Their relationship was no an illegal situation between student and teacher; it was the joining of two souls who had been made for each other. As Levi closed the door behind Eren, he was already impatient for Eren’s winter break to roll around so that he could come back to where he belonged; at Levi’s side.

-x-

They had small fights and bitter arguments as any couple did. But they had no major flaws in their relationship, and when Eren entered his junior year of college, his and Levi’s relationship was as strong as it had ever been. Eren had gotten over his fear of Levi forgetting him long ago; Levi had made it very clear that Eren was a permanent fixture in his life. Eren made it out to visit Levi every month without fail; one weekend of the month that meant true happiness for both persons. Eren had spent most of his summer with Levi, but he visited Armin and Mikasa for a few weeks. The first time that Eren went home to see Armin and Mikasa, he had arrived to see them snuggling on the couch together. They had all cuddled up to each other on plenty of occasions but it seemed to be more than platonic.

“Um? I’m home.” Eren said awkwardly. His two best friends scrambled up from the couch and tried to look innocent; they failed.

“What’s going on here?”

“We got bored of waiting for you so we were watching TV.” Mikasa replied.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Oh, that. Yeah, it’s amazing what you miss when you spend a majority of your vacation at your boyfriend’s place.” 

Armin spoke next. 

“To be fair, we were going to tell you tonight.”

“So you guys are actually together, then.”

“Yeah.” They answered at the same time. At least they were consistent. 

Eren couldn’t say he disliked the idea of them being with each other; both meant the world to him and if they could find happiness with each other, that was great. They had only gotten together at the beginning of the summer, so Eren hadn’t missed too much. They teased Eren when he rushed off the couch in pursuit of his phone when it started to ring, knowing that Levi would be on the other end of the line. Eren had received plenty of chances to tease them right back, so it all worked out in the end.

The weeks spent with Armin and Mikasa were great and filled with brand-new memories that Eren would never forget, but being greeted at the door by Levi when he came back to spend the remainder of the summer there was a welcome sight.

Levi’s job provided him with financial stability and had long since stopped accepting Erwin’s help with paying the apartment’s rent; it was unnecessary since Levi was making a fair chunk of change. His coworkers liked him despite his closed-off personality; much to his bitter resentment they made a game of trying to smuggle information about his personal life out of him. 

Eren had decided to go with a simple business major, which would allow him plenty of different routes to take when he was out in the work force. Most of his classes for junior year were centric towards his major, so he didn’t have classes with any of his friends, really. 

Life had turned a one-eighty from where it had been the year before; Levi had gone from a summer of hellish rehab to a summer filled with light-hearted happiness. 

When Eren started junior year, Levi started entertaining an idea in his mind. By October, he had decided that he would go through with it and began planning out what would happen the next time that Eren came to visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shula's Steak House is an actual restaurant that my parents took me to when we went to Chicago last. It was delicious and very expensive ($250 I think?), and undoubtedly the nicest restaurant I've ever been to, so I wanted to reference it here.  
> As long as things go according to plan, there's only two chapters left to go! Never have I felt such an intense feeling of bitter-sweetness in regards to completing a project I've been working on. I really hope you guys have enjoyed the ride!


	23. Be Mine Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi invites Eren over to ask him the big question.  
> [I recommend playing Truly, Madly, Deeply by Savage Garden while reading this one, just my suggestion]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The shortest chapter you'll ever have gotten from me for this fic~

Eren’s visits were always the last weekend of the month, since that was how they started. However, Levi had become impatient and called Eren, asking if he would consider moving the visit up by a week. Eren could think of no issues with that and said yes without hesitation. He wondered why Levi would ask for a switch in weekends, but he wasn’t complaining. So on the second to last Friday of October, he packed up his car and drove the four hour distance to where his lover was waiting for him. He didn’t know what to expect, but he could tell that Levi had something up his sleeve.

He was certainly not disappointed. 

Upon arrival at roughly eight ‘o clock, Eren knocked on the door. He had his own key but he enjoyed having Levi meet him right at the door, he always had. It took Levi a moment longer than usual to respond to Eren’s knock, but soon Eren found himself looking into a very dimly lit room. Levi opened the door completely and stood directly in front of Eren with a bouquet of red roses cradled in his arms. Levi always had been somewhat of a hopeless romantic; it was probably in part due to the cheesy black and white films he spent a lot of time watching. He said nothing as he handed the bouquet over to Eren and stood on his toes to kiss him gently on the lips.

After accepting the greeting, Eren passed the threshold into the room and shut the door quietly behind him before scanning his surroundings. Levi had dimmed the lights so low that it would have been damn near completely dark if the kitchen table wasn’t adorned with several large, ornate candles. Rose petals were scattered delicately over the table and on the floor surrounding it. Levi had already prepared dinner, and plates stacked high with (expensive) seafood sat at either side of the table. Levi motioned for Eren to take his place at the table and he sat down, keeping the bouquet of roses beside him on the table’s surface. 

“What’s all this for?” Eren couldn’t help but ask, even if Levi probably wouldn’t reveal his true intent until he was ready to.

“You’ll see. For now, just enjoy the moment, dumbass.”

“How charming of you.”

“Don’t be a dumbass, then.”

“You’re killing the vibe.”

“You started it.”

“Actually, you did, by asking stupid questions.”

As they sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments, Eren could hear music playing softly that he hadn’t noticed before. Eren recognized the song to be Truly, Madly, Deeply by Savage Garden. He wondered if the CD playing was one that Levi had put together himself; he assumed it was since Levi seemed to always think ahead. 

_I’ll be your dream_

_I’ll be your wish, I’ll be your fantasy_

_I’ll be your hope, I’ll be your love_

As the song went on, Eren reflected all the way back to freshman year, when Levi had been an impenetrable mystery that he could only hope he would succeed in getting to know as a person. Never would he have guessed that he would find himself here, sitting across from Levi and enjoying the romantic dinner that Levi had planned out. They had partaken in a strenuous and difficult road, but they had made it through everything life threw at them together. Eren couldn’t recall what life had been like before Levi; he didn’t really want to. Eren had been granted what nobody else had; he had seen into the very depths of Levi’s soul and had been graced with his love and affection. 

_Be everything that you need_

_I’ll love you more with every breath_

_Truly, madly, deeply do_

When Eren had finished his plate, Levi got up from his seat and disappeared into the living room. When he came back, he held a box of chocolates in his hands. When he sat back down, he handed Eren the box and Eren took it. He said nothing as he opened the box of chocolates to examine the contents; he was too overwhelmed with emotion over the whole scenario. Levi had provided him with countless wonderful, romantic experiences, but none had compared to this.

He removed the lid from the box to realize that the box had been tampered with. All of the chocolates were in their respective spots except for the one that belonged in the middle; it had been replaced with a note. Eren grabbed the note and read it. It simply read “Look to your side.” Eren had been too preoccupied with the box of chocolates to realize that Levi had gotten back up from his seat.

_A new beginning_

_A reason for living_

_A deeper meaning, yeah_

Levi was standing to the side of Eren, and when Eren finally looked up and noticed him there, he bent down and positioned himself to kneel on one knee. There was a small silver box in his hand, and Eren’s heart felt like it would leap out of his chest when he fully realized what was happening. Everything felt surreal as Levi began to speak.

“Eren, you’re my everything. You’re my reason for living; you’re what makes me grateful to be alive at the end of every single day. You’re my first conscious thought in the morning and you’re my last conscious thought at night. You’re truly the light of my life, and that’s something I thought I would never be able to say. You helped me out of the darkness I’ve been dwelling in my whole life. I never want to be with anyone but you. So, Eren, what I’m asking is, will you marry me?”

Eren was speechless. He was unable to formulate words that could even begin to describe the happiness humming through him in that moment. Deciding that actions spoke louder than words, he flung himself into Levi’s arms. He was on the verge of tears; there was nothing in this world that he wanted more than to be with Levi for eternity. He wanted them to be truly inseparable; not even death could pull them apart. Eren kissed Levi passionately before whispering, “Yes” Into Levi’s ear. When Eren pulled away, he got a look at the ring that was nestled into the tiny little box.

The ring was brilliantly shining silver and had several small diamonds imbedded in a row on the main part of the band; light reflected off of it and the sight took Eren’s breath away. The ring was perfect in every way, and it was absolutely beautiful. Levi slipped the ring onto Eren’s finger; it fit perfectly. 

_I want to lay like this forever_

_Until the sky falls down on me_

Eren stared at the ring for what could have only been eternity; the sight never got dull. Levi had his arms wrapped around Eren and his head was cradled against his shoulder. They sat there on the floor like that for a long time, neither of them wanting the moment to pass by. 

-x-

They decided that they wouldn’t begin any sort of wedding plans or preparations until Eren was finished with college. He never wore his engagement ring to school, as that would have been a plethora of unnecessary questions to answer, but as soon as he left T.U. for the day the ring would find its place onto Eren’s finger for the remainder of the day. Mikasa hadn’t been surprised to see the ring on Eren’s finger; she had guessed for a long time that they were two people who would be together forever. She and Armin were going strong, as well, despite their distance. Eren and Mikasa had sat together and video called Armin on Skype so that Eren could tell him the news; Armin was sincerely excited for the two. He mentioned how odd it was that the man who had been their (somewhat of an asshole) freshman physics teacher would end up being the most important person in Eren’s life; Mikasa looked grumpy when he said that. Eren reassured Mikasa that she was just as important to Eren as she had ever been.

Senior year started for Eren, and once he finished, he would be able to move in with Levi fulltime and find a job in the city. As the year went on and graduation approached, Levi mentioned that a couple of people had changed jobs at his work and that some of the lower positions were open. Since Levi had a fair standing, there was no doubt in their minds that Eren would be able to get a job there if he so pleased. 

Graduation came and went and Mikasa moved away to live with Armin, who had found a job on the other side of the country. Departure was full of tears as Eren and Mikasa said goodbye until the holidays, which the promised to spend all together. Eren had few belongings and really only had clothes to bring with him to Levi’s apartment. It was home now, and Eren would never spend his days at T.U. again.

Eren did indeed land a job at Levi’s workplace, and they spend a whole day shopping for suitable clothes for Eren, since he didn’t have nearly enough to wear daily to the office. Eren rarely drove anywhere on his own, since him and Levi could just go back and forth to work together. Their coworkers had determined at record speed that they were together; they were all pretty chill people who didn’t give a shit about the age gap. They attended the office parties that were thrown together and enjoyed them. Eren was overjoyed at the prospect of finally being the legal drinking age.

Eren and Levi decided that their wedding would be very small; basically just Mikasa, Armin, and a couple of their coworkers that they were particularly good friends with. Eren didn’t bother with inviting his dad, since he wouldn’t be able to find time to attend, anyways. And actually, Eren didn’t even know if his dad would be okay with the fact that he was gay or not. Frankly, he didn’t give a shit.

Their wedding was scheduled to take place the following summer.

-x-

On a record-setting freezing day in mid-February, the old man opened an ornate gold box. Inside was a pistol similar to Levi’s, but nicer. The time had come; he had been measuring Levi’s progress as a human over the past few years as he successfully escaped the underworld; for a second time. Unacceptable, really. To think that there was a person out there who could manage that. It was simply unheard of. 

And he couldn’t just sit there and let such preposterous happenings take place. Using his network of resources, he had known exactly what Levi was doing with his life. He was right where the old man wanted him. The timing was perfect, and today was the day.

Tucking the gun in a pocket lining the inside of his long, white winter coat, he left the warmth of his home and got into his car to begin the four hour drive that would take him where he needed to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is the final chapter.  
> I'm going to just apologize in advance.


	24. Conclusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This tale of Eren and Levi meets its end.

This winter had been colder than most for where they lived. It was a Saturday afternoon, and Eren was curled up on the couch with a fleece blanket wrapped around him. The apartment had a nice heating system, but on such cold days it was always pleasant to have that extra cocoon of warmth. He had the TV set to Investigation Discovery; the shows on crime that often included the implications of drug use made him feel like he could understand Levi’s past life a bit better. It wasn’t the same as actually understanding what he had been through, but it was the best he could do. Plus, all of the shows were pretty decent (other than some of the overly cheesy dramatizations that some of them had) and held his attention. Levi was away at the grocery store picking up food for the week, so Eren was alone in the apartment.

Snow fell lazily outside against the pale grey sky, covering the already huge piles of snow that was spread like a blanket over the ground. Eren held a mug of coffee between his hands, keeping them toasty warm while he watched Fatal Encounters. Levi had bought him his own mug; it was dark blue and had “Eren” written in cursive lettering across it. Levi had a mug with his name on it, too. Eren that thought the idea was unbearably cheesy, but Levi had insisted upon it. Their wedding was only about five months away; they didn’t have that much work to do for preparations since it was going to be such a tiny affair. The part that Eren was most excited for was being able to see Levi in a tux, to be honest.

Levi was a constant fixture at his side and even being separated while Levi ran errands had come strange. Even at work, they were only a short distance away from each other, even if their offices were on different floors. Their work environment was friendly and surprisingly leisurely; everyone worked at their own pace and had a decent time doing it. Eren befriended his coworkers quickly and they all chatted and laughed their work time away. Levi always came up to Eren’s floor on break, along with some of the other higher-ups in the building, since they all enjoyed chatting with the others on Eren’s floor as well. Eren hoped both he and Levi would work there for a long time; it had worked out great for Eren to get a decent job right out of college.

Eren’s train of thought was broken by a sharp knock at the door. He glanced at the clock; Levi hadn’t been gone all that long. Maybe they hadn’t needed too much, after all. Eren lazily got up from the couch and went over to the door. “Levi?” He asked.

“No, I’m afraid not. Is he not here?” An elderly voice answered from the other side of the door.

“No, he’s not. Who are you?”

“I’m one of his bosses.” Levi did have several bosses to answer too, Eren knew, so there was no reason for him to distrust the man; what ill-intent could such an old voice possibly hold? 

“He should be back pretty soon. Do you want to wait here for him?”

“Sure, that would be great. Thanks, son.”

“You’re welcome.” Eren replied with a smile as he opened the door and beckoned the man inside. Eren offered him a seat on the couch and asked if he wanted some coffee; the old man graciously declined. Eren sat on the couch as well, and the man spoke up.

“So, you’re the Eren character I’ve heard a lot about.”

“Does Levi talk about me?” Eren asked.

“You could say that, young’n.” The man’s voice was silky; almost too sly for someone of his age. Eren fought back the feeling of unease that was rising within him. The man made conversation with Eren until the sound of a key turning in the apartment door’s lock could be heard in the room. As Levi closed the door behind him with one hand (he had several grocery bags balanced his arms and one of his hands), everything began to happen all at once. The old man yanked Eren to him, holding him in an iron grip that should have been impossible for somebody so old. Levi dropped the grocery bags on the floor in shock as the old man grinned malevolently at him. 

“Levi, it’s been quite some time now, hasn’t it? A few years. Did you forget about me?”

“Why in god’s name are you here? What do you want with me?”

“I’ll tell you what, Levi. You did a good job. You actually picked yourself up from the confines of underworld crime. I must admit that I’m shocked, considering your little addiction issues that I was able to help feed for so long. I’m so glad that I decided to wait to kill you; this way is so much better.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“For one so smart, I’m shocked that you never realized me to be an enemy; I’ve been waiting to kill you for so long. You were always too successful for your own good, and it’s my job to regulate such success, you know? It’s nothing personal, but my hatred for you knows no bounds. I almost killed you when you came to me asking for drugs a few years back, but then word of mouth reached me that you were hanging around some kid in your spare time.”

Levi was paralyzed as the old man spoke. He had anticipated most situations, but this man was not one of them. How had he been so blind? He should have just killed the man a long time ago. When had he come to trust him, anyways?

-x-

This had to be a mistake, Eren thought. While he had never forgotten the life that Levi had led for so long, and his own involvement towards the end, it had become almost unreal with time. To Eren, it was nothing more than a whisper in the hidden crevices in his mind. Their world was entirely different now; polar opposites of their lives before Levi moved into the city. Life had been kind to them and had Eren knew that Levi was no longer even slightly the merciless monster that Eren had claimed him to be several years ago. All of that was so far away now; the surrealism of the situation clouded Eren’s mind as he tried to form a coherent thought.

Last time he had been in this position, he had no doubts that as long as he and Levi fought, they could get themselves out of the situation alive. And they had. Levi was cunning and Eren was ruthless but brave; a combination that had brought them victory. But Eren could sense the difference between that scenario and this one; so much so that there were no similarities. The man back then had been out for blood but had lacked strategy. The man keeping ahold of Eren was on a whole different level; he was Levi’s old drug dealer. And the fact that he had made it into his elderly years despite being an underworld criminal said everything. He was the one criminal who held a significantly higher amount of power than Levi.

If it had been this way a few years ago, the chances of success would have been much higher. But Levi no longer kept a gun at arm’s length, and was no longer ready to respond to a dangerous fight on a whim. It had been too long; neither of them any longer held the skill that they once had. But still, they had to fight. It was all they could do; fight to the end. Eren lifted his gaze to meet Levi’s, desperately trying to absorb confidence from Levi, anticipating meeting eyes that were filled with intense determination and bravery. They could come up with a plan through unspoken communication like they had before. The odds were against them, but when he thought about it, they always had been.

The eyes that he found were flooded with terror; panic was clearly evident in his expression. He was shaking and Eren wondered if he were frozen to his spot with fear. But he had to believe in Levi. Levi had saved them so many times; he could do anything. 

Levi would save him and everything would be okay. 

Eren did his best to keep himself from panicking as he watched Levi hightail it to their bedroom.

-x-

Levi’s pistol was stashed away in his nightstand; he’d have to make a run for it. The man was in no rush to kill; he would take his time in delivering whatever message he had to spread. Levi had to keep his panic down, for his sake and for Eren’s. Once again, Eren’s life was in danger and it was his fault. Self-loathing flooded through Levi as he dashed into his bedroom, fetched the pistol, and stuck it under his coat, which he still had on.

The man was still grinning when Levi returned. Levi wanted to shoot him on the spot, but the man had already anticipated such a response from Levi and held Eren in front of him just right so that Levi would be unable to get a fair shot without putting Eren’s life at immediate risk. He had drawn a black pistol laced with gold finish and held it carelessly to Eren’s head. 

“We’re going to have a talk, Levi. You’re going to hear everything I have to say before I make my next move. You may shoot me if you wish, but I’ll make sure your lover dies, too.” Fury ripped at Levi; after everything. Three years of happiness was falling apart right before his own eyes. He had been put in this position far too many times already; he felt his body start shaking in fury and in fear.

“Do you know why I need you dead? No? Allow me to explain. You see, when you left your business as a criminal when Erwin picked you up, I was very upset. I trusted you to be the perfect criminal; a brutal killing machine who held no regard for taking the lives of others. You consumed as many drugs as you wished for without abandon; you knew you would still be on top. I was proud to have been an ally to somebody such as you. You would have been just as successful as me if you would have kept it up.

But then you began your little fairytale life as a professor. Oh, how I seethed with fury at that news. But when you came crawling back to me, saying you needed some cocaine, I was delighted. I could take your life as punishment for leaving our world. I had every intention of doing so, until, like I pointed out earlier, rumors were started about you and our friend Eren over here. I got some of my sources to examine the situation further and sure enough, you seemed to care a lot about this little guy. 

I decided it best to take a different route and give you a second chance. You returned to crime at my will and started the road to returning to who you once were. Eren was no longer in your life, but that ate away at you too much, and so you became more obsessed with the drugs than your work. But then you picked your life back up again; a shock to many involved. Yes, once again I was planning on killing you.

But I determined a much better plan. I would let you fall in love; I would let you find out what it means to be happy and to have someone to care about other than yourself. I’ve been watching you this whole time. I’ve been watching as you got a new job and a new apartment. I’ve been watching as Eren has become more and more of a permanent part of your life. It was admittedly odd watching the flame of a killer die in your eyes to be replaced with compassion and caring. And I thought to myself how much more agonizing the outcome this result would end up for you.

Killing you quickly wasn’t enough. No, not at all. But if you fell in love with life, taking it away from you would shatter you. I hate you, Levi, and I always will. Because you beat the odds that were never meant to be beat; how many times have I told you that you cannot escape this lifestyle? You can run and you can hide, but you’ll never escape it.”

-x-

As the man gave the speech he had quite obviously planned out for quite some time, Eren watched Levi. His whole body appeared to be shaking; Eren could see the shiny black pistol quivering in Levi’s hand. Eren could feel the cruel connection of the pistol’s muzzle to his head, and Eren couldn’t help himself as tears welled up in his eyes. He slowly came to the realization that this would be his end; Levi had no plan. Terror spread through him as he watched Levi stand motionless in front of them.  
Levi would be unable to save him.

It was then that Eren realized how strange it was to see Levi with his old gun in his hand; his gun was no longer a permanent fixture for him. The past and the present clashed too much, and Eren found that he had been foolish to hope that Levi’s criminal instincts would make its immediate return in the face of danger. The old man had every advantage; his plan had worked perfectly. The bastard had given them both the chance to lead a life full of bliss and made them forget how awfully cruel reality really was. By catching them off guard, he had guaranteed his own victory.

Levi appeared to be raising the gun up in his arms. The man shifted position; had he just provided Levi with a better shot? Eren came to the realization that he was daring Levi to shoot. He was making Levi place his bets and pray the outcome would be what he wanted. Eren watched as Levi’s composure crumbled. He was once again breaking in front of Eren, and his heart broke as he watched the defeat in Levi’s eyes even as he raised his gun, attempting to steady his arms enough to get an accurate shot. A thought whispered through Eren’s conscious; if the old man succeeded in shooting Eren, Levi would be left in a situation similar to when Eren had found him unconscious in that shadow alleyway so long ago.

Memories flooded through Eren as his last moments approached; an event that almost mirrored the cliché of having your life flash before your eyes when you’re dying.  
-x-

Levi and he were on their first date. Happiness created pleasant warmth within Eren as Levi gently brushed his lips against Eren’s for the very first time. Those lips had been so pleasantly soft and Eren had been able to taste the remnants of Levi’s glass of wine on them. He remembered the way Hanji had set him aside before they left, saying that Eren was the only person Levi had showed any sort of caring for. That night had always been one of the best of Eren’s life.

Suddenly, it was Christmas. Eren had been worried sick that Levi wouldn’t like his present; he recalled the moment of agony when he was left with no choice but to hand Levi the wrapped present that held the photo of them together. Levi had given the frame a place in the living room immediately, and that had meant the world to Eren. And the watch that Levi had given to him had taken his breath away and left him speechless; it had been almost as beautiful as Levi himself.

That same watch was broken. Anguish tore through Eren as he furiously threw it at the wall until the timepiece shattered into countless tiny glass shards. Levi had turned out to be a monster, and Eren’s heart had shattered as he fled Levi’s apartment, leaving him on the floor in a breakdown. That had marked the beginning of the roughest patch they would ever go through; their time that they were broken up. Eren remembered how hard he fought to keep hatred aimed at Levi, how hard he had fought to never forgive him. The times he had gotten drunk and done idiotic bullshit in an effort to move on. But all of that anger had vanished as Eren stared at the near-lifeless shell of a human that answered the door with gun in hand and eyes that belonged to the dead when Eren went to check on him. 

Eren was clinging onto Levi’s unconscious body. Tears streamed down his face as he held the broken man in his arms, staring at awful red marks where the needles had broken Levi’s skin through a wall of tears. To think that the frail body in his arms was the man he had fallen in love with was unbearable. He would never forget the fear that struck him to the very core when the medics said they couldn’t tell if he would live or die; never forget the pain that Levi had gone through during the detoxification process.

Almost four years later, and that same broken man was fixed and was slipping a gorgeous engagement ring onto Eren’s finger. That’s right, Eren thought, they were meant to get married soon. A wedding that would never become reality. Eren’s flashbacks ended with Levi leaving that afternoon to get groceries, promising to return as soon as he could. Neither of them could have ever anticipated that a harmless winter afternoon could go so wrong.

-x-

This was it. Levi saw no opening to strike; the man would be able to anticipate any action he took. Time was no longer following its normal constraints and every minute was agonizingly slow. Levi could do nothing for Eren. He could aim his gun and he could shoot at the target the man had so graciously provided him but it wouldn’t work. But he had to try; it was all he could do now. 

How could the world be so fucking cruel? He had been through hell in his lifetime. He had dragged Eren through hell, as well. But they had finally found happiness; their wedding was soon. They had plans with coworkers for outings to partake in all together. Eren had already planned out his next visit with Mikasa and Armin. They finally lived together, finally were able to be together no matter what. And it was all for absolutely nothing, now.

After the lives he had taken. After the addictions he had conquered more than once. After finding the man he would love for the rest of eternity.

It couldn’t end here. There was no way. No fucking way. A tear slid down Levi’s cheek; he was trapped. He was trapped in his own apartment with no way out. All he could do was pick up his gun and aim it one more time, praying that his bullet could connect before the old man’s would be able to leave his pistol.

“The world is not a kind place; it does not halt its cruelties simply because you are in love." the man said. Two shots rang clearly through the air; both of them hit their target dead-on.

-x-

Eren could feel his life being sucked away, could feel himself being dragged down into a dark tunnel that held a brilliant light at the end. He was barely conscious as he felt Levi’s strong arms wrapped around him. Eren did not blame Levi in the slightest for being unable to shoot his gun quickly enough; at least he had been able to kill the old man so that Levi could safely live on. Eren wasn’t fond of the idea of Levi going through the everyday motions without him, but he had been glad that Levi could live. He had already provided Levi with the chance at a new life just by falling in love with him, so it was for the best that Eren would be the one to die and not him. Eren wouldn’t have had it any other way. He was glad to die in Levi’s arms; there was no other place he’d rather be in his final moment. Maybe one day, Levi would be able to continue living a happy and normal life without him. But he knew his hope was misplaced as he looked into Levi’s eyes for the last time and could sense that Levi would follow him into the afterlife sooner as oppose to later. Whatever Levi chose, Eren’s love for him would never change.

-x-

As Eren’s body fell to the floor, Levi ran to him. Eren’s eyes were opened only a sliver; he looked up at Levi as Levi gathered him into his arms. Blood was seeping everywhere; and it was coming right from Eren’s head. Levi rocked back and forth, cradling Eren in agony as Eren whispered his last words; Levi had to strain to hear them.

“I love you, Levi.” 

Eren’s eyes closed for the last time. Levi screamed; this had to be a nightmare. An awful, cruel, twisted nightmare. Levi was covered in Eren’s blood as he sobbed violently, still rocking back and forth. The tears streamed mercilessly down his face and splashed down onto Eren’s bloody, lifeless body. He stroked his fingers through Eren’s hair, refusing to believe that he could really be gone.

“Wake up, Eren. Wake up. Oh god, please, wake up. This isn’t funny. Open your eyes, Eren.”

Eren became heavier in Levi’s arms; his body had become deadweight. 

“I said open your eyes, goddammit! Eren, please. Eren, Eren, I need you to open your eyes, okay? Please, for me, just open them and show me that you’re still here.” Levi was in hysterics; his vision blurred so badly from tears that he could no longer see straight. Through the blur he could see the light from the room catch on the diamonds set in Eren’s engagement ring. They would never have their wedding.

“Open your fucking eyes!” He screamed, closing his eyes and burying his face into Eren’s bloodied shoulder. Blood had gotten all over him; it was everywhere, consuming both Eren’s body and Levi’s with its haunting crimson hue.

The old man had died with a twisted smile on his face, knowing that he had accomplished his goal before he died. 

Levi held Eren in his arms for what had to be an eternity as reality slowly sank in that Eren was gone forever.

-x-

Eren’s death had been easy on no one. 

When Mikasa answered the phone that night while preparing supper she had expected Eren to be on the other end of the call since it had been his number; she would never have expected that Levi would be sobbing as he told her that Eren was gone. It had taken a half-hour on the phone to get any sort of explanation; she collapsed to the floor and wept as Levi slowly managed to relay the events that had taken place. He apologized to her over and over, and she assured him that there was nothing that could have been done about it and that it wasn’t his fault. After the call had ended, Mikasa made no effort to pick herself up. After Mikasa’s tears had been spent, numbness spread through her as she sat on the floor. Armin had been away on business since Thursday but was due to return home at any time. 

Armin had come home to find Mikasa staring unblinking at the wall, sitting on the floor and leaning against the kitchen counter. Raw vegetables that were only halfway through the process of being chopped up sat unattended to on the kitchen counter. Mikasa’s tone was flat as she reported to Armin that Eren had died that afternoon in his apartment; that he had been killed by an intruder. Armin cried for the rest of the night, unable to believe that his best friend could possibly have died so suddenly. They clung to each other as they grieved over the loss of their best friend and family member. 

They flew in for the funeral and sat beside Levi in the front row during the service. Mikasa and Armin had done their best to offer Levi some small form of comfort, but the walls he had built around himself were impenetrable. He had retreated into himself, into his own world of misery and despair. Before the service had begun, Levi had been bent over Eren’s casket (they’d chosen an open casket funeral), sobbing as he smoothed a strand of Eren’s groomed hair between his fingers; which he would never be able to do ever again. Mikasa and Armin had needed to drag him away from the casket in order for the service to begin. Mikasa had found herself unable to look at Eren’s face for more than a few seconds before tearing her gaze away; it was far too painful and sobs wracked her body as Armin guided her back to their seats. Armin himself had shed a fair amount of tears, and many tissues were needed that day. 

Levi had invited Erwin and Hanji to the funeral so that he would not be alone among only Eren’s family. They were the two that understood him the best out of anyone other than Eren, and they had both shown up without hesitation. They were both extremely disheartened to hear that Eren had died, and Hanji herself needed to dab at her eyes with a tissue during the service. 

Erwin and Hanji stayed at Levi’s apartment for a few days with him after the funeral to make sure that he would be okay; Levi spent most of that time crying against their shoulders. They had both been reluctant to leave him, knowing how torn up he was, but neither of them were able to take more time to spend with him. He muttered that he’d be fine and avoided their gazes as they hugged him goodbye. They never stopped worrying about him and called every day, but the phone calls became increasingly distant until Levi didn’t bother to answer at all. Levi was unresponsive to the world around him.

-x-

Armin and Mikasa slowly healed after Eren’s death. Out of habit, Armin would often say that he would tell Eren about some news or other next time they talked, only to be met with crushing sadness and Mikasa’s teary gaze set on him. Mikasa would wake up crying in the middle of the night after dreaming about Eren and Armin would need to calm her down; sometimes it took a couple hours before Mikasa would fall asleep again. Some days it just didn’t seem real that they would never see Eren again, and that always made it that much more difficult to face the reality that he was gone forever.

They had each other to lean on for support and despite spilling many tears they eventually found themselves able to reminisce their memories of Eren without overwhelming heartache. They talked about Eren often and kept a couple of framed pictures of him in their home. In the future, Mikasa would explain to their two children who the boy in those pictures was and tell them about what an amazing brother he had been. 

Armin had called Levi once or twice in the two weeks after Eren’s service even though they had never even really met before the funeral, because Eren would have wanted people checking in on him to make sure he was alright. Armin had been met with the cracking voice of a broken man and grievingly informed Mikasa that he didn’t think he’d hold out much longer. He developed the habit of checking the daily obituaries for the city that Levi and Eren had lived in until one day, it was no longer necessary.

-x-

Sleep did not come easily for Levi after Eren’s death, and when it did, it was always filled with disorienting and horrifying nightmares; all centered around Eren. In order to get any sleep at all, Levi had taken to taking sleeping pills so that he could at least pass out for a couple of hours before facing another day of hell. 

He took time off from work; his bosses told him to take his time in healing and offered him their condolences for Eren’s death. Levi sat at home and stared at the wall for the most part; memories of Eren filled his mind constantly. He was tormented by his thoughts and desperately wanted to escape them. At one point he had been on the verge of tracking down a drug dealer and letting himself relapse into heroin to numb the pain; but he remembered how Eren had helped him every step of the way in healing so that he would never have to depend on such a vile thing ever again. He collapsed to the floor and wept as he fought the urge to pursue oblivion in the form of a high. He couldn’t relapse knowing that Eren had fought so hard for him. 

Levi did his best to keep living on, if only for Eren’s sake; he knew Eren would want him to continue the life that Eren had helped provide for him. But Levi already held a certain sort of fragility that was the effect of so many years of hardship. He had never been good at coping emotionally as it was; his drug dependence had always been far too heavy to allow for healthier coping methods. He was unable to heal a wound of such massive proportions; his reason for living had been taking away in one sudden rush and that had broken him entirely.

He isolated himself from the world, refusing to answer phone calls and he never left his apartment. He barely ate anything and even if he had ran out of food, it was doubtful that he would have gotten more. He tried to at least keep his apartment clean; Eren would have been disappointed to know that Levi had quit keeping up with the housework he had always been so obsessed with. He succeeded in that, at least. He bitterly thought that it was meaningless that he had succeeded in keeping a clean apartment when he had failed to protect his lover’s life. Anguish was the only emotion he could feel anymore. 

What had hurt Levi the most had been cancelling the orders that they had already placed for different parts of their wedding. That had been the final straw, the final indicator that Levi would never be able to regain functionality as a person ever again. He was far too broken to mend. He had reached his limit, and he could go on no longer. 

-x-

He was kneeling in front of Eren’s grave; a large bouquet of roses lay beside him (since he hadn’t found it in himself to bring himself to Eren’s grave before now he had gotten the largest bouquet he could) . Eren had died at age twenty-two; he had barely begun living life to the fullest when his life had been stolen away. Eren would never want Levi to blame himself, but he did entirely. It was his fault that Eren’s body was confined in a grave and not out living life with the determination and enthusiasm that Levi had always admired about him. He prayed that Eren would forgive him. 

He took aim with his pistol for the final time. He would never lift the pistol with his hand ever again. 

The last shot that would ever be fired from Levi’s gun rang through the air and as the life drained away from him the way it had in Eren, he could see both of Eren’s arms outstretched towards him, awaiting to hold him again unbounded by the chains of life.

-x-

_I'll love you more with every breath_

_Truly, madly, deeply do_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It finally happened, folks. This is 100% done! It's been a super enjoyable fic to write and I'm extremely happy with all of the positive feedback and support I've received with it! It really does mean the world to me. Alas, this tale meets quite the bitter end, but there's always next time, I guess. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and I hope you've enjoyed the ride!  
> I apologize if the ending still seems rushed; I had far more troubles with it and I'd care to admit and I don't know that I'll ever be entirely happy with it. As it stands, however, I don't think I will be revisiting the chapter further, so I do apologize if you think it is lacking.


	25. Alternate Ending (Wedding)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The alternate ending that I'm pretty sure a lot of you vastly prefer to the real ending I created.  
> In any case, there was a whole plethora of requests for an alt. ending and after ending the fic before their wedding could take place, it was the perfect solution to make the alt. ending all about their wedding that would have been!  
> And if you want to consider this the ending instead of the one I decided is the true ending, I won't really stop you.

On July 27th, Eren woke up without Levi by his side for the first time in over a year. Although their wedding was far from traditional, Mikasa had insisted that they at least hang on to some rules that weddings traditionally followed; this one being that they be separated the night before the wedding so that the first time they’d see each other that day would be at the altar. 

The preparations for the wedding had been a fairly simple ordeal, as the wedding and its reception would be tiny. Armin was the best man and Mikasa was the maid of honor, and that was all the bridal party consisted of. They had decided to spend a whole month with Eren and Levi, so they were there for the final month of preparations to give their approval and to help out. The color scheme they had chosen was simple; white, grey, and sky blue. They would get married in a large park set in the middle of the city, and had rented out a pavilion for the reception. The area of the park they had rented out for the day was fairly secluded and the chances of random appearances by people passing through were slim. An arch decorated with white and silver cloth would represent the altar, and the two lovers would stand underneath it as they said their vows. A trail of white roses would lead to the altar and would mark the path that Eren would walk on his way to Levi and Hanji, who had undergone the process to become an Ordained Minister so that she could marry them. 

There would be only a few rows of chairs set up; among the invitees were Erwin and Petra as well as Eren and Mikasa’s college friends (who had gone through quite the shock to hear that Eren had been the one with Professor Levi all along), along with a handful of coworkers that included two of Levi’s bosses. Everyone they had invited has RSVP’d yes, so they would end up with just enough chairs for everyone. Le Bernadin was, naturally, the company catering for the meal served in the evening, offering a choice between steak and chicken; none of their invitees were vegetarians so there was no need for an alternative option. The service would take place at three in the afternoon, and everyone would mainly stand around and linger until five, when the dinner was scheduled to be served. 

Eren opened his eyes to find Mikasa leaning against the doorway with her arms crossed; when she noticed that Eren was finally awake and in motion she said, “Today’s the day! So get your ass in gear so we can get you ready.”

“You realize I’m not a bride and therefore getting ready will not take long, right?”

“I need plenty of time to make sure you’re one-hundred percent presentable for this day. That’s my job as the maid of honor, after all.”

“What’s Armin doing, then?”

“Helping out Levi, of course.”

“I guess that makes sense.”

“Yeah, now come on.”

Eren grudgingly parted with his bed and trudged out to the living room, where Mikasa was waiting with his tux. He was still tired (he hadn’t gotten much sleep since his mind had been preoccupied with thinking about the wedding) but as he woke up a bit more, excitement flowed through him. Today was the day that Levi would officially be his forever; not that he wasn’t, already, but now they would be husbands instead of just fiancées, and husband definitely had a nice ring to it. Everything about this day would be absolutely perfect no matter what, because no matter how smoothly the wedding went (not that it would actually have any issues considering they had no actual family members to deal with like most couples have), at the end of the day Eren and Levi would be married to each other, and Eren wouldn’t have it any other way.

Eren’s tuxedo was all white; he and Levi had decided that he would wear white and that Levi would wear black. Eren’s tie was sky blue and Levi’s was silver, in order to incorporate the color scheme even better. That had been Armin’s idea; a lot of the planning had been Armin’s ideas, really, since he was better at coming up with ideas for that kind of stuff than any of the others. Despite providing Mikasa with assurance that he was fully capable of putting his tux on by himself, she still insisted upon helping him. He would have needed help with his tie, anyways; he had never been skilled with them. Once Eren was all dressed, Mikasa left him to his own devices so that she could go get ready. She had chosen a strapless floor-length sky blue dress. She styled her hair into tight curls and wore a pair of white heels that made her a couple inches taller than she was; which was somewhat unnecessary since she was already about Eren’s height anyways. Armin had picked out a standard but still nice-looking black suit for the wedding, and his tie matched Eren’s (as did Mikasa’s dress).

They were all set and ready to leave the apartment by one-thirty, leaving them more than enough time to make their way to the park and attend to any last-minute preparations that may demand their attention. Levi and Armin had spent the night in a hotel that was near to the park, and butterflies fluttered through Eren’s stomach knowing that the next time he’d see Levi, it would be as he was walking down the aisle. Mikasa had insisted upon escorting Eren down the aisle; apparently she wished to be a father to him as much as she wished to be a mother. Eren had wanted to walk down by himself, but Mikasa had discarded that thought as soon as it had escaped Eren’s lips. 

When they made it to the park, they were greeted by the invitees that had already arrived. Since Levi and Armin weren’t there yet, there were no worries about Eren seeing Levi too early. Erwin was the first person to make his way over to Eren, enthusiastically shaking his hand as he said, “Congrats to you, Eren. Levi found a great person to spend the rest of his life with, and I’m glad it could be you. I’m sorry we haven’t gotten much of a chance to know each other, though.”

“Thanks, Erwin. And it’s okay, I know you’re busy. I’m happy you could make it out for this, though.”

“Wouldn’t miss Levi getting married for the world! I didn’t think I’d live to see the day.”

The conversation continued for a couple of minutes until Hanji came running. She threw her arms around Eren and exclaimed, “Erennnn! It’s been way too long! Are you excited?”

“Hanji, you’re going to mess up his hair.” Erwin said lightly; Mikasa had combed it to be about as perfect as it would ever manage to be. 

“Awh, he’s fine! Right, Eren? Oh, it’s so good to see you, especially in this situation.” Hanji continued on, disregarding Erwin’s warning. 

“It has been too long, I agree.” Eren responded, knowing Hanji would continue the conversation herself.

“I’m so happy I get to be the one to marry you guys, it was such an unexpected surprise when Levi called me up and asked! This is going to be perfect, I tell you.” 

“Thanks for agreeing to be our minister, Hanji.”

“It’s nothing, of course!” She replied happily before adding, “Well, I’ll leave you to greet some of the other guests. See you at the altar, Eren!” She disappeared as suddenly as she had appeared.

Eren’s old college friends approached all at once, led by Mikasa. 

“They all wanted to say “hi” before the ceremony starts.” She said.

Jean (who had mainly only attended because Mikasa had asked him to and because Marco had said it was a good idea) was the first to speak.

“So you were the one who actually wanted to bang Professor Levi.”

Marco spoke before Jean could continue. 

“I’ll admit we were pretty shocked to hear that he was the one you were marrying. It’s great, though! You guys are nice together.”

Annie spoke next. “Tell them that I knew all along, because they don’t believe me.”

“She’s right, she’s known since our freshman year of college. Well, her sophomore year.” Eren replied.

Connie decided to jump in as well. “We thought you were pulling some sort of prank on us when you said it was Levi! We thought for sure we’d get here and it’d be some lady you were tying the knot with.” 

“Yeah, we laughed pretty hard about it when you first called us. Oh, by the way, when’s dinner, again?” She looked at Eren quizzically; looked like she had never grown out of her obsession with food.

Levi arrived with Armin a short time later, which called for Eren and Mikasa to take their leave until it was time for the ceremony. At five to three, everyone was settled in their chair. Levi took a deep breath and adjusted his tie as he waited for the last five minutes to pass so that the ceremony could start. He was ready to exchange his vows and be bound to Eren for the rest of their lives; and into the afterlife as long as such a thing existed. Eventually, three ‘o clock rolled around and Eren and Mikasa were given their cue (they had Erwin to signal them when it was time to make their entrance). Mikasa linked arms with Eren and they slowly made their way down the makeshift aisle. The white rose petals everywhere were really pretty, Eren had to admit. He scanned the rows of chairs, making eye contact with the smiling individuals who had come to his very own wedding. Eren felt overwhelmed; a good sort of overwhelmed, though. But that was nothing compared to the true happiness he felt when he allowed his eyes to wander to the altar itself. Levi was turned to face him, and Eren couldn’t get enough of the sight of him standing there with his hair falling perfectly around his face. Eren had seen him in a plethora of attractive clothing before, but this was undoubtedly the best. Levi in his black tux and silver tie was absolutely flawless and took Eren’s breath away as the realization dawned on him that  
Levi was actually his to love. 

Levi was left just as breathless as Eren as he watched him make his way down the aisle with his pure white tux fit perfectly over his body. Eren was obviously trying to stay serious but Levi could see the grin spreading over his face, and it took all Levi had not to grin right back. Eventually, Eren was only a step away from Levi and it was time to separate himself from Mikasa. After a quick hug, they separated and Eren was right beside Levi at the altar. They turned to face Hanji as she whispered, “Are you guys ready?” 

Levi replied that yes, they were, and she cleared her throat before beginning their little ceremony. Since it wasn’t a church wedding led by a pastor, they had opted to skip a lot of the traditional bits that were generally included in ceremonies, so there was very little filler before their vows. They had chosen the generic wedding vows; they had already said many times over their own personal vows to each other, had already affirmed their devotion to one another.

Hanji directed for the two lovers to grab each other’s hands. Hanji addressed Levi first.

“Do you, Levi, take Eren to be your beloved husband, to have and to hold him, to honor him, to treasure him, to be at his side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish him always?”

“I do.”

She turned to Eren.

“Do you, Eren, take Levi to be your beloved husband, to have and to hold him, to honor him, to treasure him, to be at his side and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish him always?”

“I do.” Eren gazed at Levi as he did so; emotions filling him to the brim as their vows were exchanged. Levi was watching him just as passionately; after everything they had ever been through together, they had made it. They had beaten the odds of being a student/teacher relationship, of conquering Levi’s past, and of making it through every bump in the road. It had all led up to this; the moment that they could fully belong to each other with nothing to hold them back.

“You may now kiss the groom!” Hanji was enthusiastic as she gave the lovers their permission to seal the deal. 

Levi closed the small distance between them and tilted his head up as Eren tilted his down so that they could meet the kiss half-way. Levi’s lips were soft against Eren’s and he didn’t want to pull away, but now was not the time for lengthy kisses. Embracing Levi had never felt quite so good; he wished that exact moment could have lasted forever. They pulled away and everyone seated before them began to clap as Hanji announced, “I present to you, Eren and Levi Yeager!” Nobody had expressed surprise over the fact that Levi had taken Eren’s last name; Levi’s last name was a mystery that was never meant to be solved. Eren went in for one more quick kiss before they made their way down the aisle together, hand in hand. At the end of the aisle, they were met with hugs and words of congratulations from every attendee. Mikasa and Armin were the first to embrace both Eren and Levi and Armin looked to be on the verge of tears as he expressed how happy he was for the both of them.

Erwin was the next to give delighted hugs to the newly married couple, followed by Petra, who Eren hadn’t seen in quite a long time. The rest of the line blurred by and everyone was soon making their way to the pavilion, which Eren had yet to see in its decorated glory.

White rose petals were a recurring theme, and they were spread all over the pavilion like they had been down the aisle. Centerpieces of sky blue and silver that held little white candles at their centers adorned every table, which were all draped with shimmery silver tablecloths. The head table’s cloth was blue with a whit edge; all of the decoration was Armin’s doing. Between the candles and the decorations and everything else, the sight was breathtaking and every guest was impressed by it. 

During dinner, Sasha and Connie had naturally been the ones to start clinking their glasses with their forks as a signal for Eren and Levi to kiss; they obliged without hesitation. Sasha and Connie giggled at the husbands’ eagerness and resumed clinking immediately. Marco followed suit in good humor, and Hanji almost broke her glass from banging at it with her fork. Eren and Levi spent more time with their lips together than with their lips eating their own food; which Eren had no argument against and Levi couldn’t say that he did, either. They all made a celebratory toast and as they continued eating, speeches were made. Mikasa was up first.

“Well, as you know, I’m the sister of this bull-headed dumbass over here. But I wouldn’t change that for the world, because Eren really is an amazing human being. I had always wondered if he would be the type of person to be able to find love in this world, as he never expressed any interests in anyone; neither girls nor guys. I knew there was something interesting about Eren’s opinion of Levi right away, because he didn’t think he was an asshole like the rest of us. Sorry, Levi, but it’s true. Anyways, I’ve known Eren all my life and in that time I’ve never seen him so happy with one single person and I wish you two the best. Make sure to come spend Christmas with me and Armin, though, because that would be great. And Levi, may you always be able to hold Eren back from being a complete dumbass.” With that, Mikasa raised her glass of champagne and took a drink, as did everyone else after they clapped for her speech.

Armin’s turn was next. He held his alcohol worse than anyone attending the wedding, and despite not having much at all his cheeks were bright red. He stood up and cleared his throat. 

“I was the first one to call it when Eren came to me talking about Levi. He denied that he could possibly have romantic feelings for Levi but he should’ve just listened to me in the first place because I was right. Anyways, I think you guys go great with each other and I’m going to keep my speech very short before I bore people, so I hope you guys have a wonderful life together because you guys deserve it.” More clapping ensued, and Erwin was Levi’s candidate to make a speech.

“As you all know, Levi had never been the type to open up to other people. His cool disposition has always caused him to seem like an asshole, which isn’t actually that inaccurate. I’ve known Levi for a long time now, and just like Mikasa with Eren, I didn’t think Levi would find love. However, when Eren told me that Levi had cracked an awful shit joke with him, I knew that he was the one that Levi would marry. And here we are. I couldn’t be more delighted, though, because Eren, you seem like a really great guy. We should make sure to get together once in a while, so make sure you force Levi to call me up now and then.”

Eren grinned and nodded at Erwin’s request; Levi was staring at Erwin with an expression caught halfway between irritated and resigned. Since everyone was almost done with dinner, Erwin’s speech was the last one to take place.

After everyone had finished their plates, the Le Bernadin staff got to work on moving the tablets out of the way to create a makeshift dance floor. 

Eren and Levi had chosen Truly, Madly, Deeply as their song for their first dance, since it had become their engagement song and they had come to love it immensely. As their song started, Levi took Eren’s hand and led him to the center of their dance floor and they danced together. Their movements together were much smoother than Eren had anticipated, since they had never danced together before. But he supposed they just worked well enough together for it to be effortless.

Everyone was gathered around, watching as they slowly rotated to the song. Levi leaned up and began to whisper the lyrics into Eren’s ear.

_“I want to stand with you on a mountain, I want to bath with you in the sea, I want to lay like this forever, until the sky falls down on me.”_

Eren smiled as he listened to Levi’s silky voice as he shifted from whispering to quietly singing; Eren had known that Levi could sing but had never asked him specifically about it; he had always preferred pretending that he didn’t hear Levi sing to himself in the apartment, a habit he had developed after moving to the city. 

_“Be everything that you need, I’ll love you more with every breath, Truly, madly, deeply do.”_

The song concluded after another thirty seconds and everyone clapped as a new song started; the signal that everyone else could join in as well. Lighthearted conversation, singing, and laughing filled the air as the small gathering of people celebrated the unity between Eren and Levi. Fate had granted them what it granted very few people; the chance at a new life for someone who that was nearly impossible for. 

Everyone danced with everyone for the most part, and both Eren and Levi changed hands plenty of times between their guests. They eventually made it back to each other’s arms and they danced together for the rest of the night. Eren leaned down to whisper in Levi’s ear.

“I love you, Levi.”

“I love you too.”

“Forever?”

“Forever.” Levi replied as Eren bent down even further so that he could plant another kiss on his husband’s lips. This time, they didn’t pull away right away, instead enjoying the feeling of their mouths pressed against each other’s, tasting the slightly-sweet flavor of champagne lingering on each other’s lips. 

They had truly reached their happy ending, and their hearts beat in tune with each other as they danced, savoring every sweet second of their time in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thoroughly enjoyed writing this alt. ending, and I hope you guys enjoyed reading it~!


End file.
